Much life wastage, then some school.
When somebody loved me Everything was beautiful Every hour we spent together Lives within my heart And when she was sad I was there to dry her tears And when she was happy So was I When she loved me Through the summer and fall We had each other That was all Just she and I together Like it was meant to be And when she was lonely I was there to comfort her And I knew That she loved me So the years went by I stayed the same But she began to drift away I was left alone Still I waited for the day When she'd say I will always love you Lonely and forgotten Never thought she'd look my way And she smiled at me And held me Just like she used to do Like she loved me When she loved me When somebody loved me Everything was beautiful Every hour we spent together Lives within my heart When she loved me
1st February 2001
Okay. Once again, I suck at writing.
Actually, there is a slight case of having nothing to write.
I last wrote about a week ago-ish. Since. Well. I spent the weekend setting up my aunt's new puter with everything she could possibly want, and baby-sitting. And getting made to download weird songs from a Captain Beaky album put out in the '70s.
Monday me and Bob played a hit seat game of Civilisation: Call to Power. And I kicked arse -i.e. Bob was hopeless.
I also had a somewhat unpleasant conversation with my brother. Talking about DNI, which he is in form two at this year, and how uncaring and bully filled an environment it is. Always nice to see how things never change, and all those bad things in the world stay the same forever, tormenting year after year of children. Someday someone will blow up that school, after hours, but during a staff meeting, slaying them all. And I doubt many ex-pupils will shed even a single tear over the lose.
Yesterday I had lunch with midget and my ball-n-chain. And I thought it went really well, but I just now got given the "Were you trying to dump me? you really hurt me. What games were you playing" speech. Which is quite worrying me, as I didn't realise I'd done a thing.
So I am in trouble, which is a tad upsetting. Hopefully it'll blow over, coz I'm pretty sure I didn't actually do anything. Which, by saying that, makes me sound like a bastard, so I just can't win.
Anyway, then last ight me mother had a Prenzel party, so I tried lots of alcohol, and only liked a couple of them.
This arvo I read almost all of the novel I got out to read over the weekend. Hopefully this is good practice at churning through novels for once classes start back up at the end of the month.
Anyway, tomorrow I'm off to Queenstown for the weekend, with no money, and wearing my little briother's shoes.
Today's song quote - Sarah Mclachlan's 'When She Loved Me'.
They paved paradise And put up a parking lot With a pink hotel, a boutique And a swinging hot spot Don't it always seem to go That you don't know what you've got Till it's gone They paved paradise And put up a parking lot. They took all the trees And put them in a tree museum And they charged all the people A dollar and a half just to see 'em Don't it always seem to go That you don't know what you've got Till it's gone They paved paradise And put up a parking lot. Hey farmer farmer Put away that D.D.T. now Give me Spots on my apples But leave me the birds and the bees Please! Don't it always seem to go That you don't know what you've got Till it's gone They paved paradise And put up a parking lot. Late last night I heard the Screen door slam And a big yellow taxi Took away my old man Don't it always seem to go That you don't know what you've got Till it's gone They paved paradise And put up a parking lot.
7th February 2001
Queenstown was great. The ride was kinda long, but pleasant enough. Dunedin to Queenstown, with a short stop at Lawrence. We got there to the world's scumiest hotel room. I was so glad I wasn't to be staying there. Colonial Village is just not a pretty sight, the Queenstown City Council should burn it down. Then Rachel came to the rescue and whisked me and Midget off to her house. Rachel's house is nice, if I lived in Qtown I'd squat at her place, lovely place in Fern Hill that it is.
That nite Midget made us all go to some Mexican restaurant, which was nice, me and Rach split a meal between us. Yummy hot spicy chicken Nachos. Then after a little wondering around Qtown, we headed back to Fern Hill and after killing some more time catching up, did the sleep thing.
Saturday we did lots, supermarket shopping at the so-called "fag's choice", window shopping, checkout the tourists, madly preparing for Rachel's job interveiw, going up the gondalas and watching the city from the top while she was having the interveiw up their, going to Arrowtown, celebrating the fact she got the job at a BBQ that evening, going clubbing (and having Midget feel all sick and complaining all the time), then heading home to sleep. or not to sleep as the case may be, as Midget felt the need to watch Braveheart after everyone had gone to bed, and as I was sleeping in the lounge, it meant no sleep for me. :o(
Sunday, was less pleasant. The morning was nice, breakfasting with Rachel, helping her tidy for a visit from her aunt, and then leaving. The trip sucked, Midget had her headphones on the whole trip. Joy for me, I would have had more fun alone on a bus.
Monday, I killed time with the ball and chain. It was actually pretty nice. And I have the sickening feeling I'm falling disgustingly in love.
Yesterday I read "Dragonquest" by Anne Mccaffery, my third novel in a week. Slant by Greg Bear, which I'd recommend to anyone and Dragonflight also by Anne Mccaffery which was okay, though I only read it because so many people seem to like the series, were the other two.
Today I went to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Talk about cool. It's even better than Heroic Trio, though there is a certain similarity between them. I guess I just dig superhuman asain movie fight scenes.
Anyway, there is another pointless installment of my life.
Today's song quote - Joni Mitchell's 'Big Yellow Taxi'.
A graveyard on a summer's night
The spectres dance in sheer delight
And down a moonbeam slides a ginger cat
In plimsolls and a paper hat
"I'm dead" he cried, "my name was Ben
"I had nine lives, and just spent ten.
"And now I am a ghostly cat
"In plimsolls and a paper hat."
"Tell us then" the Spectres cried,
"The different ways in which you died!"
"Gather round me then", said Ben
"And I'll tell you where, and when."
"The first time, I fell down the well
"No one near to hear me yowl."
"How did you escape?" they said,
"When you'd been given up for dead?"
"Ah ha! I found a bucket." said the cat
"And so I went to sleep in that.
"Then, a local farmer's daughter
"Pulled it up to get some water.
"Lucky to escape from that!
"In plimsolls and a paper hat."
"The second time is still quite clear
"I found a fish head on the pier
"And took it in my mouth with glee
"Then someone threw it in the sea.
"They were using it as bait - I really thought I'd met my fate."
"How did you escape?" They said,
"When you'd been given up for dead?"
"I met a catfish in the sea
"Who rather liked the look of me,
"And pulled me by my ginger tail
"To the shore, all cold and pale.
"Lucky to escape from that!
"In plimsolls and a paper hat."
"The third time nearly was my end.
"Upon a rooftop with a friend,
"I slipped into the chimney pot,
"And down towards my doom I shot."
"How did you escape?" they said,
"When you'd been given up for dead?"
"But for the soot, I would have died.
"They had a chimney sweep inside,
"And as his brush swept up the flue,
"Back I popped, as good as new. Wheee!
"Lucky to escape from that!
"In plimsolls and a paper hat."
"Fourth time in a castle cellar,
"I met a rat, enormous fella!"
"Each eye redder than a ruby.
"Was I frightened? Wouldn't you be?"
"How did you escape?" they said,
"When you'd been given up for dead?"
"I hid behind a wooden log,
"And howled and barked just like a dog.
"You should have seen him run!
"I chased him half a mile, for fun.
"He never knew I was a cat
"In plimsolls and a paper hat."
"The fifth time, on an evening stroll
"I came across a rabbit hole,
"And being curious, popped inside
"And sitting there, a fox I spied!"
"How did you escape?" they said,
"When you'd been given up for dead?"
"I said 'My dear fox, I've just come here
"'To tell you that the hunt is near.'"
"'Thank you, cat" the fox replied,
"'But for you, I might have died.'
"'I have a friend for life, a cat
"'In plimsolls, and a paper hat.'"
"The sixth time was on Beachy Head
"Sleeping on a disused bed.
"When I awoke, I went quite stiff,
"For I was falling o'er the cliff!"
"How did you escape?" they said,
"When you'd been given up for dead?"
"I got four corners of the sheet
"And held on with my hands and feet,
"And as the cliff was out of reach,
"I parachuted to the beach!
"Lalalalalala-la-la, lalalalalala-la-la...
"Lucky to escape from that!
"In plimsolls and a paper hat."
"The seventh time was in a house.
"The owner hoped I'd catch a mouse.
"He said that's all I'd get to eat!
"Alas, there were no mice to meet."
"How did you escape?" they said,
"When you'd been given up for dead?"
"The doors were locked! I nearly died!
"Then a paintpot I espied.
"Jumped in his bedroom painted white,
"He yowled and ran into the night!
"Lucky to escape from that
"In plimsolls and a paper hat!"
"Eight and nine lives lost together
"In a nasty bout of weather
"For in the hail and sleet and rain
"I was swept off down a drain."
"How did you escape?" they said,
"When you'd been given up for dead?"
Lost down below a London street,
"A great big turtle did I meet!
"Been in drains since he was small
"And knew his way around them all."
"You were lucky to escape from that,
"In plimsolls and a paper hat."
"And now we come to number ten
"Which really was the end of Ben.
"I caught the cat flu - how, don't ask it
"And died whilst sleeping in my basket.
"Now all my lives are gone," he said,
"Alas, at last, I'm really dead!"
Then up the moonbeam climbed the cat
In plimsolls and a paper hat.
8th February 2001
Well this morning I read Dragonsong by Anne Mccaffery - I am So churning through this series. Then I took the book back to the library and got out a few to keep my busy over the weekend. Come home, and that was about it. I'm now a wee way into Dragonsinger as I wanna know how Menolly screws her life up next.
Actually, I noticed something I the ride back from Qtown on Sunday that made me realise why me and Claire have never had an amazingly deep friendship. It was when she said that she hated the trip back because she had already seen all the veiws. this while I was quietly thinking how nice it was to see the otherside of things, all the things that are concealed from vehcals going the other way. i don't think it means anything much really, but it just made me realise a few things about stuff.
In other news, I think my intended flattie has pulled out on me. I've been trying to contact her for a couple of weeks, and she seems to be avoiding me. I have a bit of a notion that she has organised a flat for herself and is hoping I won't ever notice. I can but hope I am being paranoid.
Today's song quote - Keith Michell's 'The Ginger Cat' from Captain Beaky.
I want you to want me I need you to need me I'd love you to love me I'm beggin' you to beg me I want you to want me I need you to need me I'd love you to love me I'll shine up my old brown shoes Put on a brand new shirt Get home early from work If you say that you love me Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin' Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin' Feeling all alone without a friend you know you feel like dying Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin' I want you to want me I need you to need me I'd love you to love me I'm beggin' you to beg me I'll shine up my old brown shoes Put on a brand new shirt Get home early from work If you say that you love me Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin' Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin' Feeling all alone without a friend you know you feel like dying Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin' I want you to want me I need you to need me I'd love you to love me I'm beggin' you to beg me I want you to want me I want you to want me I want you to want me I want you to want me
12th February 2001
Okay. It's been a few days since I've written. Thursday night I read Dragonsinger, the sequel to Dragonsong which I had read the night before. Friday I stuffed around a lot. Baked some hokey pokey biscuits. Went to Midget's for a small social gathering, ended up there till 2 in the morning. Then walked into town with Bob and Marie to go dancing at The Mission. I really didn't like the place. I may be seriously agnostic - but I'm still not comfortable about that kind of thing going on in a church.
After getting only two hours sleep, I had a rather busy saturday, as it the the old hag's birthday. Fortunately I managed to get in an early-ish night, so I wasn't too dead on Sunday.
Sunday, I read Pegasus in Space, the final in Anne Mccaffery's Pegasus series, and linking into her Tower and Hive series. It wasn't too bad, except for just the epilouge, which seriously bugged me. And I baked some more. And killed some time watching The Wedding Singer on telly.
Today. AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went into Citizen's Advice Bureau and got some info, which got me a refund from Whitcoull's, finally, for the dodgy DVD I got there that they didn't feel they had to refund me for. Yay for the consumers guarentee act.
Then the day went downhill. Course Approval Bites. I have four classes I have to be at at 2pm on Monday afternoon. So I have to change atleast two, if not three papers.
To make things even better the girl I was supposed to be flatting with has found herself a flat somewhere else and just wasn't telling me, aleast that's what her ex told me. I think I shall have to prepare a wickerman for her. Though possibly fire is too good for her. And now I'm flatmateless.
Otherwise, not much to talk about. I'm reading The White Dragon, and beginning to enter Anne Mccaffery overdose.
And that's about all I can think to say.
Today's song quote - 'I want you to want me' by Letters To Cleo.
christopher robin and i walked along as the branches lit up by the moon posing our questions to owl and eyore as our days disappeared all too soon but i wandered much farther today than i should and i can't seem to find my way back to the woods so help me if you can i've got to get back to the house at pooh corner by one you'd be surprised there's so much to be done count all the bees in the hive chase all the clouds from the sky back to the days of christopher robin and pooh winnie the pooh doesn't know what to do got a honey jar stuck on his nose now he came to me asking help and advice and from here no one knows where he goes so i sent him to ask of the owl if he's there how to loosen a jar from the nose of a bear so help me if you can i've got to get back to the house at pooh corner by one you'd be surprised there's so much to be done count all the bees in the hive chase all the clouds from the sky back to the days of christopher robin and pooh so help me if you can i've got to get back to the house at pooh corner by one you'd be surprised there's so much to be done count all the bees in the hive chase all the clouds from the sky back to the days of christopher robin back to the ways of christopher robin back to the ways of pooh
15th February 2001
Twelve days till Fat Tuesday. So I have only twelve more days of comfort eating on junk food.
Tuesday (13th) I spent finishing off my course approval, and that was really about it for the day. Dang my life is the dullest of the dull. The high point was watching Plunkett & Macleane on video. It is one stylish movie. Actually, i take it back about that being the high point, the high point was Simon - the lecturer from theatre studies - ringing me up to say if I wanted late entry into the playwriting course he wouldn't mind kicking someone else out to open up a spot for me. At some point I have to finish off Evan the Mighty versus The Heffalump King and gift it to the theatre department so it can be staged. especially as they have asked after it.
Wednesday, St. Valentine's, the day of commercial exploitation of a bastardised classical pagan/christian tradition. During the day I did crap all. I got my uni ID card and look REALLY UGLY. We are talking U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi level of ugly. It's not a good photo at ALL.
Evening came and I was taken out to a picnic by the ball-n-chain. It was nice, we had a surprisingly yummy macaroni cheese salad. Not something I ever would have thought of trying cold. And had quite a pleasant night.
Today, I baked, did laundry, hid from the rain and played computer games for the first time in ages. I should have finished that novel I'm halfway through (The White Dragon) but I didn't feel like reading. I did watch the Kate Winslet film Hideous Kinky though.
And that is about all I have to say.
Today's song quote - 'House at Pooh Corner' the Indigo Girls version.
I traded fame for love Without a second thought It all became a silly a game Some things cannot be bought I got exactly what I asked for Wanted it so badly Running, rushing back for more I suffered fools so gladly And now I find I've changed my mind Chorus: The face of you My substitute for love My substitute for love Should I wait for you My substitute for love My substitute for love I traveled round the world Looking for a home I found myself in crowded rooms Feeling so alone I had so many lovers Who settled for the thrill Of basking in my spotlight I never felt so happy (chorus) Mmmmm, ooohhh, mmmmm Famous faces, far off places Trinkets I can buy No handsome stranger, heady danger Drug that I can try No ferris wheel, no heart to steal No laughter in the dark No one-night stand, no far-off land No fire that I can spark Mmmmm, mmmmm (chorus) Now I find I've changed my mind This is my religion
19th February 2001
Thursday night I finished The White Dragon, it's pretty good, if predictable. Friday I, ummmmmm, yes that was it, the ball and chain visited and we watched X-files. Otherwise Friday was pretty pointless.
Saturday, I had a nice quiet morning, followed by a vacuum cleaner salesman visit, and then tidying the house for my mother's birthday party. Not that great. But then Kez came and kidnapped me in the evening and took me to her and Becky's place for a party followed by clubbing. Great way to brighten up the day. I was a tad surprised by the fact that at Bath St. someone tried to steal one of my friends hand bags, I didn't think that kind of thing happened in Dunedin clubs.
Yesterday/Sunday I slept, but no where near enough. And then did miscellaneous things all day. Like play pokemon, watch the british film Gobble and start reading Moreta: The Dragonlady of Pern - which I admit I'm having trouble getting into.
Then last night I went out with Luke, Marie, Becky, Kezia, Halley and Sarelle (?spelling?) to bid farewell to one of our friends who is moving to Auckland to do her honours years. We went to Bennu, were I spent too much, for food, and then to Luke's where we watched Sandra Bullock's Gun Shy, which was SO COOL, especially for a straight to video movie. Go undercover cop movie.
Today I watched The Faculty which was very BAD, and a crime against The Puppetmasters. Then I headed into varsity to get some O-week free stuff. And that's about it.
I have to remember to buy a Fur Patrol ticket tomorrow.
Today's song quote - 'Drowned World/Substitute For Love' by Madonna.
I didn't hear you leave, I wonder how am I still here I didn't want to move a thing, it might change my memory Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want, but I can't hide I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, until you're resting here with me I don't want to call my friends, they might wake me from this dream And I can't leave this bed, risk forgetting all that's been Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want, but I can't hide I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, until you're resting here with me
27th February 2001
Okay, so it's been a while again.
Last week was pretty busy, though not that noteworthy.
Between random collecting of free stuff and various other O-week happenings - like running a stall at Clubs and Socs day - it was kept resonably filled up. I read Moreta - Dragonlady of Pern by Anne Mccaffery, which was a bit of a shock as the suble allusion to homoeroticism in the earlier books is suddenly frighteningly obvious. Otherwise it is pretty readable, for an obvious "I'm being supportive of them during their AIDS epidemic" novel. Damn pandering to the faggoty market. Oh, oh, look at me, I'm being homophobic. Oh, oh, this is turning into a Hate site, and no child-protection software will let people read this.
Don't mind me, I'm in a weird mood.
On Friday it was the big 5 monthaversary thingee. I'm so spoken for. Saturday was spent having a family portraits taken at Pixifoto, and being weirded out by the fact a friend (well, friend of a friend) from school was the photographer. Then I set up some games on Codename:Bob's computer, which was pretty much gameless. Then heading to the Wicked Stepmother's (okay, I don't think they are still going out so I can claim total ignorance as to who the freak is now) housewarming - and spent the whole time talking to Becky, Kez and Marie.
Sunday night I went to Fur Patrol/Tadpole/two other bands. It was great. But the crowds weren't exactly the kindest, and during the last act (Tadpole) the crowd surging seperated me from everyone I knew :o(. But it was mostly good.
Monday, classes were okay. I have a good friend, Michelle, in ENGL311, and another whose also my neighbour in ENGL314.
Today, was horrid. ENGL368 is going to suck. But I've had lots of junk food today, and now the sun is down so it is lent, so no more junk food till Easter.
I've given up:
Ice Cream
Chocolate
Lollies
Caffine
Alcohol
Pies
Union Food
Fish'n'chips and fast food takeaways
Cakes and Biscuits (though this one I'm not too certain about) Today's song quote - 'Here with Me' by Dido.