A repost of a web-diary that predated the term blog - as previous hosting is disappearing it can now go here.
24 October 1998 - 29 July 1999 originally published on geocties.
August 1999 - 2012 originally published on ihug.
Last Wednesday night I woke in what was ungodly early Thursday with a tight chest and a sense of panic. I wrote it off as merely being concern about going to the dentist during a pandemic.
But the tightness hasn't gone away. It had grown and is now distinctly reminiscent of when I had pneumonia.
I am going to have to ring my doctors office.
I am not happy about this.
Otherwise dentist thing went fine. I have indeed broken one old filling, otherwise I seem to just need a scale.
Yesterday, the the first time in four weeks, I went out and had dinner at a friends place. Was so weird being out of the house. And even weirder taking my mask off around people.
But an enjoyable time was had with Oli and Greer and their very excitable children (who had received presents from me since I had seen then last, including a book they particularly enjoy forcing their parents to read on repeat).
I probably got myself COVID, because children are made of germs.
But was hopefully good for my mental health to be a human and not a hermit crab for once.
On Tuesday I changed dosage on my thyroid meds, which means I will hopefully stop feeling like my body is trapped in slow mode. Though the first couple of days sucked.
Today I am changing brands on my epilepsy meds - hopefully it acts like nothing changed at all.
I have wasted a couple of days of the in between time learning that I do not enjoy Distant Worlds 2. It took me a while, but I got there. Meaning it is less fun to me than Stellaris, which after playing for years I am still pretty undecided about.
My memory has been especially tricksy recently.
And my reliability about marking when I take my meds on my calendar has got poor.
So today, when I had headache and chronic migraine pain both in the same spot (and yet being distinctly different beasts) it brought up the possibility I may have missed some pain meds.
I do not trust myself.
My brain is not my ally.
I recall planning a bunch of deep insightful points about my life and how the world is currently falling apart while insomnia was keeping me awake into the small hours. But in the light of day I remember them not. Planning entries for this thing never leads to those plans achieving anything. My memory is conman, convincing me I can trust it even when experience has taught me I can't.
I did leave the house. I went to the pharmacy.
Otherwise, have failed to do anything today. Failed to order groceries online like I need to. Failed to even play any computer games of any sort. Just a bunch of lying on the floor and more listening to than watching some Netflix/TV.
Even ordered delivered dinner because I didn't have it in me to even heat and eat a heat and eat meal.
After 17 days of not leaving the house, I stood on my driveway yesterday.
Today I intend to leave my section entirely. Maybe.
I have done well at following specialists instructions that I go walking everyday by not leaving my flat at all for almost three weeks.
Much of which I have spent in an insomnia spiral (insomnia induced heart palpitations can make sleep difficult).
In fairness, I am not doing well.
But I have built most of my backlog of Lego sets. I think the only set I have left untouched is my Pirates of Barracuda Bay set that I have had since the first COVID lockdown. I keep putting it off as I have nowhere to put it once it is built.