Hooray for exams being over.
Hit me with your rhythm stick Hit me Hit me Hit me slowly Hit me quick
3rd July 2000
On Friday evening I slipped on my porch while running to the phone, and slid straight off it into the garden, and gifted me with one MASSIVE bruise. It was not a pleasant experience.
Then I hit the town. Had tea with a friend (quite accidentally, we were both eating alone at the same cafe) and then met up with some other friends and spent the night stuffing around.
Saturday I discovered just how much I had hurt my leg. It swelled something chronic. So Saturday was spend avoiding walking as much as possible. Then Sunday wasn't much different, though I did go to my grandmother's for tea.
This morning I did my paper run for the last time EVER. I taught the run to the new girl and handed over the big yellow bag. So tomorrow I'll get to sleep in. YAY. Now I just have to find a flat and move my sorry ass out of here.
Big ole Ruby Red Dress wanders round the town Talkin' to herself now, sometimes sittin' down Don't you get too close now, ruby runs away Poor ole ruby red dress born on a sorry day I can hear her say Leave me alone, won't you leave me alone Please leave me alone now, leave me alone Leave me alone, please leave me alone, yes leave me Leave me alone won't you leave me alone Please leave me alone, no leave me alone Leave me along, just leave me alone, oh leave me
6th July 2000
I've done like NOTHING in days.
On Tuesday I wandered into town, got a book out from the library and had lunch with my father at Planet Pancake. Though in the processes I met a second cousin (or possibly third, I wasn't paying that muchattention) once removed, who I'd never known existed.
Yesterday involved so much stuffing around, i had plans but they kept getting postponed on me and then transfereed to this afternoon.
Ergh, my student loan is already at $7037.82, just for this year :o(. Damn. Which means I'm up at about $22,000 by now :o(.
Debt bites.
Is it weird that everytime I hear the name Robson Green on the add for Touching Evil II, I think of Greer Robson off Shortland Street?
I was having a really good day until just now.
This afternoon I went to Boys Don't Cry with my ex, and proved pretty conclusively that this boy does. It was an AMAZING movie. Like, WOW. I left SO shell shocked. And then my ex was being a bit of a pain, so I delivered a quick flick to the back of that very deserving head. Bit it ended up doing a tad more damage than I ment it to do. SO I was left feeling just a tad guilty. Though, spending time with my ex is surprisingly comfortable and even quite nice.
Though now I'm VERY grumpy. I'm been baby sitting Bex's car for two weeks, and after letting her know I'd be home all night so she could come and get it. She came and got it. SO here I am sitting watching TV when I hear it start up and leave. And think "no, that must be the neighbours car, Bex wouldn't just take her car and leave". But then, in the ad break I checked and she had and the driveway was empty. I was seriously not amused and now VERY GRUMPY. I'm seriously wishing I could go back in time and do something nasty to the car.
This very grumpy boy is off to bed.
Shhhh, Shhhh It's, oh, so quiet It's, oh, so still You're all alone And so peaceful until... You fall in love Zing boom The sky up above Zing boom Is caving in Wow bam You've never been so nuts about a guy You wanna laugh you wanna cry You cross your heart and hope to die 'Til it's over and then
9th July 2000
Friday I spent baby sitting my lil brother. Wahoo fun for me.
In the evening I went into town, had Combination Pork Satay for tea, with Karen, who had Combination Chicken. Then we met up with Tashanaaron and stuffed around a couple of hours before I scored a ride home from Tash's mum.
Saturday, I got up and headed in to help my father and his significant other set up the decorations for the Queer Dance they were throwing. So the day was spent sellotaping posters to walls and scrunching cellophane. Though there was the bonus of my cousin shouting us lunch there. Cafe wedges, Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yum.
Then after a brief stint at home dolling up, I got picked up by Bex, who I forgave very quickly - I suck at holding grudges - and went down to Feul for the last minute prep before the dance started. From then it on was dancing all night. Eventually I even stole my father's staff badge, because I was the only one of those who'd beeen there helping out all day who wasn't considered worthy of getting one, for reasons all of Alex's own. And I danced, and danced, and danced until eventually I was the last one on the dance floor, which I took as a devine sign that it was time to go home. Admittedly it was now 4:30 in the morning and I had been there for nine and a half hours. Though on the way out two skanky guys seperate came up to me and invited me to their respective house - icky poos. It put a bit of a downer on my mood, skanky people should be drowned in lava and forgotten about.
Once I finally woke up i lay in bed watching the Buffy marathon I'd videoed while I was out. Six episodes of Buffy in a row :o).
And that is about all I have to say. Dang I'm dull and in serious need of a life. Three guesses who is wallowing in self pity.
What if God was one of us Just a slob like one of us Just a stranger on the bus Tryin' to make his way home
12th July 2000
Monday morning 8am I had a lecture. Not exactly the walking definition of fun. Then I filled in the two hours between my classes by walking around chatting to Becky and Kezia. My following lectures were kinda mean, especially my organic one. They are trying to do so much stuff so fast. My feeble lil brain just ain't keeping up. Monday evening I finally finished Do Androids dream of electric sheep and it is great, Blade Runner should have stuck closer to its source.
Yesterday my two lectures over lunch were again harsh and fast (as they would prove to be today as well). My poor lil brain pretty much started drippling out the side of my head. Then yesterday arvo I went wandering town with the Wormgirl and severely over spent my budget. Though I needed the shampoo, and my other spendings would have been within my budget otherwise. I picked up Joan Osborne's Relish, which is a great album so I'm happy.
Last night nice Peter dragged my off to the movies, so weird double feature at Metro, which wasn't too bad, in the grand scheme of things.
Today, lectures, and thats about it.
I don't know if you can hear me Or if you're really there I don't know if you would listen To a humble prayer They tell me I am just an outcast I shouldn't speak to you Still I see your face and wonder Were you once an outcast too
15th July 2000
Thursday, an eight am lecture :o(. Stuffing around, issuing my second ever rental book from the library, had Krshna lunch and then got kindnapped by Tina and spent the afternoon with her. Thursday evening I played pool against lesbians, and got my arse kicked, and danced my neighbour good bye (as she is moving overseas) at the rad one retro night.
Friday, another eight am lecture :o(. Then I got roped into helping with the AIDS Quilts. They are SO beautiful, it's just so sad that it took so many deaths to inspire them. My THEA203 lecture was fun, we watched a 80's play "A Woman of No Importance", it was a beautiful solo-performance, really sad though, and a tad too familiar of my life. Trying to make myself important, but really never being as important as I'd like to think I am. And I've always suspected that if I got really sick no-one would visit me except those who needed to for their own appearances sake. Then last night I went to "Get Real" with Becky, Kezia, Luke, Skanky Peter, Nice Peter and a whole lot of other poeple I know. It was a good movie, nothing compared to Fucking Amal though.
Today I went to Invercargill.
Give me the strength to carry on Carry on With all our love we can't be wrong
16th July 2000
Well, I didn't finish what I was writting about yesterday, as I was running way late. I am so disorganised. Anyway...
Dad came and woke me up at 7 yesterday morning, five minutes later we were on the road, driving to Southland. The ride was kinda long, but that was mainly as Iwas tired, and the veiw hasn't changed much since all the other times I've been driven past.
We got to Invers and visited my Uncle Dunc, his wife Sharon and their kids (my cousins) Vinny and Logan. My Grandmother was also there, which was pretty dern groovy. And while the olds caught up, I got beaten up by Vinny and Logan, till I bored of it and picked up one in each arm and carried them around for a while.
Visiting my aunt in the hospice was somewhat less pleasant. She is SO thin, like a skeleton. But her face is still SO beautiful. Fortunately she was awake and we got to talk to her.
After getting back to Dunedin I decided I wanted to go out and get tea, as I couldn't be bothered cooking, so I invited one of my miscellaneous netfriends to have wedges with me - two birds with one stone, put a face with the nick and not have to eat alone. Which was what I was running late for. I have never had so many embarraced pauses so close together with anyone (except maybe my ex), it was at the point of bearly being conversation at all. So after finishing the food we went dancing. Dancing is all good. After not too long we had our arms around each other and were dancing somewhat sleazily (and not in the stylish sleaze mockery way I usually dance either). To cut a long story short, I'm not single anymore (though I'm possibly being a trifle presumptuous). And to add some details, a half hour walk took us about five times that long. And no, I didn't score. Though scoring does look to be a definate posibility at some stage in the not too distant future. So I'm on something of a big warm fuzzy today :o).
Angels never came down there's no one here they want to be around but if they knew if they knew you at all then one by one the angels angels would fall
18th July 2000
Monday's classes were okay. I was on just a little bit of a buzz all day. As Monday night, I had a date. And the date went really nicely. I was even pleased to discover we did have stuff to talk about. Though don't expect any details here, they are MUCH more fun to pass on in person.
Today I had classes again. I did crap all at Organic, I've given in and will just print the stuff out off the net. My lab was LONG, and unproductive. It's just good I'm working with a few good people otherwise the labs would bite.
Anyway, I'm out of things to say right now.
Yesterday when I was young The taste of life was sweet As rain upon my tongue I teased at life as if it were a foolish game The way the evening breeze May tease the candle flame The thousand dreams I dreamed The splendid things I planned I always built to last on weak and shifting sand I lived by night and shunned the naked light of day And only now I see how the time ran away Yesterday when I was young So many lovely songs were waiting to be sung So many wild pleasures lay in store for me And so much pain my eyes refused to see I ran so fast that time and youth at last ran out I never stopped to think what life was all about And every conversation that I can now recall Concerned itself with me and nothing else at all
20th July 2000
Yesterday I had a nice quite day of stressing out before the date I had in the evening. The joy's of second date jitters. Then the date was nice. We had satay and then came back here and watched TankGirl and some TV. It was really nice. Then, after being abandoned in my lil room I watched Buffy and then got some sleep. Just to be woken by cats fighting on my roof at 5 in the morning.
So today I was grumpy. And on top of it I had an 8am lecture. So the day didn't have the perfect start, which got me thinking about stuff very cynically. So then I got busy over analysising the budding relationship I'm in, then over analysising the conclusions of my initial analysis, and then those results. In fact the cycle kept going until I had convinced myself that I'm only in it for my own self-worth. Which is possibly true, but more likely just a conclusion feed by an unfortunate mood.
Then between krshna lunch and going to my lab, I bumped into my - hmmm, what title to use, we haven't discussed this and I don't want to use one that implies levels of commitment we aren't ready for - and we had a breif chat. And for no logical reason I was left VERY grumpy. Wanting to either lash out, or sit down and cry. Instead I went to my organic lab, and lost myself in the scent of solvents. For some twisted reason i always end up enjoying my organic labs, no matter how much I build myself upto hating them before hand. And Organic chem is amazingly therapuetic.
*twinkly instrumental bit*
23th July 2000
Friday, started too early. I was in something of a bad mood on Friday morning, so I dressed up. Orange shirt, blue tie with a pink hue, green-grey waistcoat, white trousers and a brown vinyl jacket with orange and brown striped lining. And I finished the look of with my blue vinyl college bag. I looked good.
After my very early lecture I talked to Tina, and then Vishala while filling in some time. Then I went to the library, and discovered just how tragic my life is when I let out a near orgasmic "oh yeh" when I opened the copy of The Princess Bride and found a full colour foldout map.
I'm SO LAME.
Though on my wander through town, a complete, and very attractive, stranger gave me a big smile and told me I looked cool. So for about a second and a half I experienced a sensation of slight self-worth.
Then I went back to uni and madly tried to do some work before my theatre class, but in the end I didn't have to anyway. Then after the class I went home and spent the rest of the day quietly hidding anyway, and as the weather was crap I even stayed home that night, eating chinese takeaways and wallowing in self-pity.
Yesterday I met up with my thing ("Thing" is the term that was offered, and can anyone really see me turning down the chance to use a term that objectifying?). And we spent the afternoon wandering around uni chatting about nothing in particular. Then we had tea at Planet Pancake, as we'd already had fish and chips and satay this week and wanted to do something different. Then we spent the evening watching the next series of Futurama, followed by some South Park. The night wasn't too bad. Even if I am going out with someone I'm mildly allergic too. Trust me to have a weird skin allergy - well another one to add to my collection of them. And sleeping two people in one single bed isn't exactly comfortable, especially as I'm used to having my queen size bed all to myself.
Anyway, I got home at 8:30 this morning, fall into bed and stayed there till 2 this afternoon. And I've done crap all since.
So long my friend I wish that I could see you once again
24th July 2000
Well, last night my thing asked "are you ditching me?" and I didn't say no. So after a long twisted conversation we decided I was. So once more I'm single - and thinking this is the perfect excuse to rebound onto a gorgeous stranger :oþ~.
This morning I got up and into the shower. The phone rang. It was 6:50 in the morning and I knew right there and then that my aunt had died. I got out of the shower and was informed my assumption was right. So I spent the whole day in a dream. I soent it telling myself I was really happy, but knowing that if I stopped for even a moment I would fall down where I stood and cry.
I had a few useful distractions though. Breakfast with Hans, A waffle ice cream before my environmental lecture, Krshna lunch and a chem lab feild trip to Emerson's brewery with associated comsumption of organic beer samples.
Anyway, I'm now getting ready as I'm off to Southland tomorrow for funeral type things. I recon I'll be back around Friday or Saturday.
I am slowly going crazy 1 2 3 4 5 6 switch Crazy slowly am I going 6 5 4 3 2 1 switch
30th July 2000
First thing Tuesday morning I packed up to head off to southland. After stopping in and leaving messages with my departments to say I wouldn't be there for a while I bundelled into my Dad's car, along with him, his partner and my extremely irritating younger brother and headed for Invercargill. The trip conversation was centered around the debate as to which of the meany possibly routes should be taken to get there. Talk about DULL. Snore worthy.
We got to Invercargill and went to the house of an uncle and aunt. Once there I filled in some time rough-housing with my cousins Vinnie (4) and Logan (2). And then making a tokenistic attempt to help with the coffin. Trust my family to decide to make the coffin themselves. It came out really nice though, and I guess it could be taken as some sort of beautiful jesture, a tribute to Alice's life. But it's still kinda cheap.
Then we went to the mortician to put Alice into her coffin. Okay, I've had some experience being around dead bodies before, but seeing her lying on a metal slab with ridiculous amounts of makeup on was a tad overwhelming. And helping to get her into the coffin, and then carrying it out to the van. It was a bit more than I was really ready for.
Then after delivering the body to Scott's Gap (which is just outside Otautau) we went to Tuatapere and met up with all the other relatives who were down.
Actually, it was really nice to catch up with some of them. And we ended up having a fair bit of fun. On Wednesday morning we "kids" walked around the parts of the farm where we had oftened gone with Alice and recounted all the comic or interesting happens from these childhood trips. It was fun, and it pretty much did the work of a funeral for me.
Wednesday arvo went went to invers, had lunch at Zookeepers -which has GREAT wedge substitutes- and bought LOTS of liquor. Wednesday night has one of drunken rememberance and lots of bitching about Wayne - Alice's partner and the father of her children who had decided to have the funeral on Sunday and strictly invite only. And most of the family wasn't invited. So that seriously brought out people's less than forgiving side. Family bites, and my family has extraordinarily big and point teeth.
On Thursday I came back. Shared my bed with a couple of fox chicks stopping over on their way back to Palmerston North. Got up on friday and actually made it to my 11am lecture. So I didn't miss ALL my classes for the week. Just all the important ones.
Friday night I went to town to meet up with friends and felt EXCEPTIONALLY not sociable. Saturday night was not much different. Other than that all I've done since I got back is play Diablo II and avoid actually talking to anyone. Oh, I did go to Kiki's Delivery Service on Saturday arvo, and it was a lot more enjoyable than I thought it was gonna be.
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