F- Life

Today I typed out the message "If you don't want to spend time with me, then just stop going out with me" to the Semi-Imaginary One.  But I didn't send it.
Only in sorting where I was meeting him for our standing weekly group hang did he say it was off.
He only admitted it was off because he was out of town when I said I would just come to his flat instead.  Once again he has fucked off out of town without bothering to mention it.
He is making it really hard to maintain my belief that he is just a bit crap but means well.  He has been too reliably dickish lately.  It is getting very hard not to snap.




[Later addition]
Why the fuck am I so in love with someone who is such a dick to me.
I sent an angry text rant to make sure he knew things weren't okay.
Am now kind of expecting to get dumped for having become difficult.  I am pretty sure I am only being kept around because I quietly put up with being treated as not a person.

And I seem to have readers again.  Hopefully it is just bots, but the read count being non-zero unsettles me - especially when I am extra ranty and miserable.  Otherwise it is just secret voyeurs enjoying my pain - which, I guess, is their right.
I would like to believe if it was one (to three) of my friends, they would message me with a "hey douchebag, why are you being a douchebag?" and I would have to reply with "oh no, you found and my true name and can now do magic on me...."

If it is the Semi-Imaginary One reading it... that would be hellishly awkward.   It would either force us to actually have a serious discussion and try to fix things, or end things.
While I would prefer to fix things, either of those outcomes would probably be an improvement on the status quo.



[SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK addition]
The stranger who messaged me on the Semi-Imaginary One's birthday claiming to be his actual partner is now off on holiday with him and posting about it on facebook.  I have been told so many lies.  And it now seems pretty definitive that I am being cheated on.
This fucking sucks.


[more later additions]
He is not replying to me please explain text.  Which is leading me to accept that it is probably not something that will somehow turn out to have an innocent explanation.
I have messaged his flatmates to get back my plant, they didn't ask why so I guess they know.
I am really not okay.

Also, the reader count for this post keeps going up.  If you are someone I know could you tell me so I stop being weird and anxious about who it is.

I should go try to sleep.  Failing that, chat to the 1737 people like a weirdo.