I got up at weekday time today, even though it is Sunday, to catch up a bunch of things.
It is now dinner time and i have realised that I have done nothing but eat more of those pinwheel scones. I am still in my PJs and haven't even had the energy to play computer games.
Have got way too caught up in my head about a multitude of the tiny problems with the Semi-Imaginary One (and a few of the actual real why-the-fuck-didn't-I-run-screaming-for-the-hills-immediately ones). It has left me with no brain space for anything else. Or even for it itself.
I am not okay, but I put all of what little effort I have in me into convincing people that I am. Which is why I didn't leave the house on Friday, as I knew I'd end up crying in public - which I did in the supermarket on Thursday (while buying a newspaper for the photo, and then later in the day at a worse supermakret after accidentally walking into someone (who I don't think even noticed my walking into him (and incidentally was exactly what single me would have stranger crushed on to, looking far too objectifiable in that corrections uniform and seeming more than a little on the spectrum...))).
I am too broken to be sensibly filtering my thoughts.
Probably a sign I should not be blogging, especially as attempting to use it as free therapy is not really doing anything that helps with my broken brain.
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