Glorious Sleep

For the first time in about three weeks I managed seven hours of sleep.
It is amazing.

Shitlord feeling that I should have forgiven him already made things settle down wonderfully.  It was a view straight through the gaps in his human suit.  And suddenly I am not that worried if I ever find forgiveness for him or not.  I have spent all this time feeling like I have to forgive everything, out of some sort of respect for the love I have for him.  But I have finally realised that the person I love may be attached to him, but is not the same guy now wanting my forgiveness.

I may be stuck loving him, but apart from that I don't really have to let him mean that much else to me.

I may end up friends with him, I may not.  In the great scheme of things maybe it doesn't matter.

I think the friendship would benefit him far more than it would me - I am pretty blessed with better friends than I deserve, and his friendships seem more limited than I realised.  I thought he was hiding me from the majority of his friends - but I am coming to think he doesn't actually have all that many close friends.  Maybe because his dishonesty has caught up with him before.

I have been assuming the dishonesty was a special just for me flaw in him as a person, but I am really not that special.