Twas a fluke

Mindfulness techniques that seemed to work on Monday night did not work on my second go trying them.
Back to barely sleeping.

In better news, I got to the word count for my essay before bed last night.  Which is very helpful as typing this is proving exceedingly difficult this morning, so typing my essay would be working even worse.  I still need to edit, but currently I may be better off just not editing it at all.
And essay writing got me eating a bit of snack food.  Not a lot and I did skip lunch otherwise, but enough to pretend I am back to normal like a normal person.

In worse and annoying news, my brain decided to have a bit of a meltdown during the night about how much it decided that it really misses Shitlord and just wants to be near him.  Not useful thoughts to have to fight myself about.
I understand all the love feelings that I have are going to take a while to ease off, but it isn't like the person I love was ever actually there - he was all just a lie, some of it that Shitlord told me and some that I told myself.



[edit]
Can't make any sense of my essay, not enough to edit it.  Submitting it as is on the assumption that my brain today is the one failing.  Yesterday I was much better rested.