Days lost to sulk

Recent days, I have not been going well.
Got pretty depressed and spiralled.
Not that much else to say except that it led me to replying to more messages from Shitlord's other other guy.  I thought helping him through him pain would help.
I really didn't.

I am still too hurting, and too full of unhelpful in-love feelings, to be helping someone else deal with the same person's lies.

Part of the problem is how much I still go to tell anecdotes of my day to him first.(And, kind of, him only, I got far to emotionally dependent on him over the years.)
He is still so much entwined with how I think about everything.