Stupid universe.

Seeing the class ranking I realised my A- for my essay wasn't actually that good.  Slightly over a quarter of the class got A+s.

I headed to class, and on the intersection crossing the the university library I realised I was crossing in front of Shitlord's car.  After how much all little pale blue cars are causing a hit of panic, I had realised it looked a lot like his car but I think that a lot and was not as prepared for it to actually be him as I needed to be.
He did that pointing at his eyes and then swinging the fingers to me thing to show he was watching me.  I assume he meant it to be friendly, but it just felt like he was claiming some sort of right to see where I am.
He has done too many dick things, it taints everything else.
He controlled me for so long through actions I took as innocent at the time.

And seeing him at all hurts.  I have all this useless love that just aches for him, and seeing him makes it so much worse.

Class was on the exam, so was probably worth being at but I really just wanted to be at home in bed.

On my way home I stepped on a wobbly brick in the footpath and it shot fetid muck up my leg all the way to my crotch.  I looked like I had had explosive diarrhoea though the front of my pants - and the mud the got on my hand itched a lot, even for quite a while after it was thoroughly washed away.  So it was home to extra washing of things and preparing stuff to not stain between now and when I have enough laundry for it to be worth running the machine.

And then once I was home and cleaned I cried for a while.
I would like to say it was all about the mud, but I wouldn't even fool myself with that.

The moving on is a slow process and, when I start to think I am making progress, I get reminded how far I have to go.