Saturday, 2 November 2019

Today mostly didn't

I missed my exam.
Me.
Me who has never missed much of anything in all my time at uni.
But I woke up, after sleeping through my alarm a surprisingly long time, and the moment I thought about the content of the exam I should be heading to I started to cry.  And I kept crying.  And I decided getting out of bed and going to the exam was a level of humaning that I was not up to.  And I am associating the course with the life events that happened during it rather too strongly.

So I had another day mostly of crying.

The day kind of vanished on me, I might have lost time or maybe I was just too in my head to notice the day happening.

I didn't get washed and dressed until almost seven hours after the exam I had failed to get to finished.  And when I ate dinner I was left feeling very unwell.  Everything is rebelling.

I have done nothing - including none of the tidying of my flat I needed to do considering I am getting more furniture tomorrow, stuff from my grandmother's house that I have no space for.

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