Last Wednesday I didn't leave the house.
On Thursday I broke out my full date outfit. Dinosaur boxers. Pineapple Shirt. Good jeans. Merino possum socks. Elvira Jumper. Sexiness up the wazoo...... and then I went to town for blood tests followed by my first COVID jab. After the jab I caught up with an old friend I haven't hung out with since later 2019 because pandemic and laziness. We got lunch at Miga Hako on George Street and wandered to the supermarket. Due to the excessive wetness of the day, I conned my father into taxi-servicing us back to my place so I could show off my new flat and continue to catch up.
The conversation was mostly pretty awesome, but when the topic got to JK Rowling (due to showing off my bookcase) I found out views on the transes I diverged in the years since we had last discussed them. It felt like she had got a bunch TERFier - but in actuality I think I just got less TERFy. But our views had diverged just enough that it was briefly super awkward and I worry it spoiled the whole outing for her.
On Friday, after a morning building a Lego flower bouquet, I only washed and dressed so I could go for Nando's with Firmin, Simon and Joe. And got a couple of things from the supermarket before coming home and watching Netflix for my Friday night. And in fact didn't leave the house again until my dad made me go for cheap Asian dinner with him and my sister on Monday evening.
The weekend alone was spent watching various things, best among them was the Icelandic show Katla. Which I watched after having spent some time on the internet enjoying the reaction to Drag Race Down Under crowning the least racist queen.
Mostly I was just super tired and super depressed. Those things may have been linked, and others have pointed out may have been my body raging at the vaccine. The only thing I am confident was the vaccine was my sore arm, everything else may just have been my regular chronic pain bullshit.
The weekend also featured my toxic multinodular goitre releasing liquid from the cysts so loudly that the noise woke me up - but at least meant that my neck has moved more easily (and swallowing has gone better) ever since. Though I assume it will build back up soon enough. Also, left me feeling super nauseated for a bit - hopefully just from sudden change in the interstitial pressure or something and not actually bad reasons.
Yesterday I had brain poking. My psychodynamic psychotherapist was of the impression my run of bad days was likely to be vaccine related, even though he has had both shots with no ill effect. The session was mostly about nothing, though when it suddenly got hard for no logical reason (as we still weren't talking about much but it was suddenly deeply upsetting) my brain broke out what I now realise really is just a defensive mechanism of assessing the was the registrar might be attractive and making me suddenly overly aware of his physicality. It is irksome, especially as I know what my subconscious is up to - it is not fooling anyone, just pissing me off.
I would punch my subconscious in the face except that that is my face and I have enough pain already.
Today, I have been rewatching some Gravity Falls. Dalton dropped by to return my Good Omens and have me force him to borrow my Fiest's Magician instead.
No comments:
Post a Comment