And I'm a big psycho head.
Steam slowly builds up now Between my ears there is fog now The soothing sounds of your shower make My life this hour I guess I must have messed it up I guess I must have messed it up I guess I must have messed it up When I gave you the ladyshave Your heart's a pumping bass And I like that My heart is missing pace And I like that
4th July 2002
Okay, I have no idea when I last wrote, I guess I should go look.
Hmmmm, since I last wrote. On Saturday night I rather randomly visited Oli. Not for any real reason, but I decided going clubbing by myself would be a bit too embarrasing. And even though Aaron had spent the afternoon watching South Park and Buffy on my 'puter he wasn't up to hitting the town. So I headed around to Oli's and watched the Korea vs. Turkey world cup match, it was SO cool. A goal in the first 11 seconds. Just plain cool. It was also nice to just hang out with Oli and his housemates. Then I headed home in the little hours, and actually slept. Yay for sleep.
Sunday I played puter games and stuffed around. I'm sure I did something else, but I can't remember what.
Monday, ummm, might have gone done about how Sunday did. I stuffed around through the day, though in the afternoon I went to my cousin Breffni's place, to heater hug and get feed. She got such a feast whipped up, I was SO bloatted when I left.
Tuesday. I set some stuff up for my brother, had a cuppa with Michiel, and went shopping for chocolate. In the evening I headed out drinking with Aaron, Alana, Lyall and Tim. It was kind of fun, especially with the late night bulk chocolate purchasing at Countdown, and then carrying it around Arc. And then it was home, for sleep.
Wednesday I got up late and eventually organised with Renate to go to Placemakers to buy chickenwire and miscellaneous supplies to repair the bunny hutch. Then in the evening I blobbed out and watched Buffy, and the final ever Ally McBeal - which I haven't watched in years. And had a long chat to Claire, though I was unpleasant as all my teeth hurt. I thought it was tooth ache, and maybe it is, but last night it was ALL my teeth. And it sucked. Eventually I got to bed and had a crappy night's sleep.
Today only two teeth hurt, nice and symmetrically one either side of the top of my mouth. Most of today was spent trying to rebuild my bunny hutch, with my father's help. Then I came home and after tea had CocoPops for dessert, as I'm feeling crappy. And my teeth hurt, but which hurt has changed again, which makes no sense, unless it's going to turn out I need a whole load of dental work, and I'm far too poor for that, so will just have to get pliers and rip my teeth out myself.
And don't look at me that way. Ripping out my teeth wouldn't be that psycho... Compared with the fact I'm considering buying $25 just to see my ex in formal wear - now that is psycho....
And I should go to bed before I make myself look any worse.
Today's quote is from "Ladyshave" by Gus Gus..
Just 'cos I know where she lives, I won't stick around like adhesive Instead I'll skin my knees And wait between She'll tug on my imagination I wait for an indication Systematic smiles with it She's just so sweet so fine So polite too Sophie I'd like to be for you But the only, only way I know Takes so long, so long
6th July 2002
Well yesterday, I stuffed around a bit in the morning and then headed into town not long before lunch, to do useful things, like post my application for a new community services card, talk to the Department of Internal Affairs office about the fact they are useless and can't do anything but refer to an 0800 number, and take my only hard-copy of my Thea304 script to the English department. So now I don't have a copy of it myself, which probably isn't the smartest thing, but, oh well. Then I came home and rang the 0800 number they;d given me, to be told they will send me out an application to spent $65 on a little piece of paper that doesn't actually do anything but which I have to have an authorised copy of in order to apply to confirm that I am already a Canadian (which will cost another $110-ish). The price is somewhat putting me off actually doing it. I just don't see how it's fair that the New Zealand government charges $65 to confirm whether or not someone is a New Zealand citizen. It's just insane. Anyway, after that less than fun phone call, I sat down and write a bit more of the letter to Per I started in March, I really should actually finish and post it, though his parents have probably moved, so I'll probably just be writing to the ether. I might try and finish it today, maybe, though I have no idea what to say. Gosh darn it. Anyway, back to yesterday and chronological ordery stuff. I played some Dungeon Siege and talked to Aaron and then Alana (I got two phone calls, from different people, on the same day - that has to be a record for me) on the phone, before playing some more Dungeon Siege and checking online occasionally to see if the ex was on. Okay, maybe I'm creepy and scaring away what few friends I have.... or maybe I'm just an idiot and too stupid to give up just because it's been made perfectly clear to me on a bunch of occasions that getting back together isn't a going to happen thing. Actually, with what a freak I've been being recently, I'm surprised I haven't completely lost my ex even as a friend, but then, maybe I have and I'm just too stupid to realise it. Anyway, before I get into full-swing wallowing, Aaron turned up about 6 in the evening to go to town, as he felt he should go to town, but didn't want to be one of those tragic people who go to town at night by themselves. It's not something I've ever had that much of a problem with, but then I'm mostly a no-friends loser anyway. After a couple of hours in town, and getting something unpronounceable from Friendly Satay for tea, I started to feel really crappy. My tooth which hadn't been bugging me all day, was suddenly really sore and my face was all hot, and my forehead felt really tight, and my right eye felt like it was going to explode. I wasn't feeling very pleasant at all. So I headed home, and after another attempt to chat with my ex, again failing miserably, especially as I was too sick to wait very long, and I was in bed by 9:30. After about an hour and a half of lying in pain I took a couple of Paramax (headache pills - they are the only pain killers I have) as per the instructions on the box, and not long later went out like a light.
And woke at about eight this morning. And got up to find I was still pretty unstable. The pain was gone, but I couldn't walk without holding onto something. Infact it was eleven before I felt I was stable enough to stand for a shower. Go paracetamol. And go me for being such a cheap date, wasted on paracetamol. Anyway, I don't really have that much to say for myself. So I might head off before this turns into me whining about my ex some more.
Today's quote is from "Sophie" by Goodshirt..
Starry night bring me down 'Til I realize the moon It seems so distant yet I felt it pass Right through So I see what I see A new world is over me So I'll reach up to the sky And pretend that I'm a Spaceman, in another place and time I guess I'm lookin' for a brand new Place, is there a better life for me Subtle wind blow me gone Let me rest upon your move I trust I'll end up sleeping Cradled in my doom So I feel what I feel I can't grasp what is not real So I'll get myself real high And imagine I'm a Spaceman
7th July 2002
Well, yesterday I played Dungeon Siege, and chatted on the net pretty much all day. Not that it really counts as chatting; I just talk to the three people of my ICQ list who're ever online. Then in the evening I had plans to meet up with Tash, so decided I'd be a genius and invite my ex along. As friends, as me and my ex are now, it was the right thing to do. As me - with the head space I'm in - being around someone I'm that mentally tangled up on was possibly not the smartest move. Anyway, we met up at Metro and it was fun, and then passed through town stopping at the Havana Lounge for a moment and then a bit longer at the Albert, before we headed off to Re-Fuel as someone Tash new was performing at Vivace. It was crap. Okay, I wasn't all that entirely well, which probably didn't help. But the music was far too loud - my ears still hurt a bit - and it just made the night kind of sucky. Go stupid organisation leading to permanently damaged hearing. And I threw a bit of a sulk for a while after my ex made a perfectly rational, sensible comment, after choosing to stand rather than sit on my knee, and when I did the whole "you can sit on my knee, other people are doing the same sort of thing" argument, I got the "but some people are going out". So I sulked, not that anyone is likely to have actually noticed. I am such a loser; I should have just gone with the urge to top myself on Friday night, when it seemed the logical way to end the pain I was feeling. But then I told Wormgirl on Wednesday that I wasn't likely to do myself anytime soon, so I should probably try not to, so as not to be seen as having lied to her and all. Anyway, back to Vivace. The stupid act that Tash had gone to see blew the speakers in the place, so it had to shut. So me and the ex headed off to boogie at KCs, but there was a queue, so we just ended up going to the car, and I got dropped home. To have a bit more of a sulk and then drift off to sleep - this time not needing drugs to do it, as my tooth had decided to behave. It was only being annoying, which is such a massive step up from the pain of Friday night, that I guess I should be thankful.
I think the big question is 'Can you actually be friends with your ex?'
Though that's not really the question either, as I am friends with my ex. In fact it's probably the best friendship I've ever had.
Maybe 'Can you actually be happy with being just friends with your ex?'
Possibly with the tagline of 'and stay sane in the process'.
Or maybe I'm just a psychopathic freak who has to learn how to let go. I think my problem is that I got dumped with [okay, I had the quote here, but decided to cut it, as though it was kind of point supporting and part of the sense of what I was saying - it's a quote from the ex, and I probably shouldn't go around using them without permission - not really the best way to keep friends - this amendment made 13:37 on the 7th July] Which really is getting dumped, but something in me has refused to ever let go of that chance. And me being the stupid fuck I am still can't read that log file without crying, and it's over 3 1/2 years old. I really have to let go, as it's been made clear to me enough times that we aren't going to get back together, no matter how much I might want it.
Anyway, I stopped writing yesterday to avoid a whine about my ex, and now I've gone and done it today. So I should stop before it gets any longer.
Wallowing in my insanity probably isn't the fastest way to get to a happy place.
And Tash has my glasses case, damn it all, I kind of need it. Well atleast I have my glasses.
I mean, my ex is my best friend. And no-one seems to have any how-to-get-over-someone advice that doesn't require distance and removing the person from your life for a while. Which just wouldn't work for me. It'd be like taking an axe to the pillar that holds up what little sanity I have. Kind of literally actually, except for the axe part. I'm pretty sure my friendship with my ex is all that has kept me from completely losing the plot on life.
At this point suggestions might even be considered.
I have no idea what to do. I need the friendship, but the just being friends... well; it's not leading to hugs and puppies. I'm so not in a rational head place about the whole thing though, and I just can't see what I'm supposed to do. Perhaps it's because I'm just too close to it, or perhaps it's because I'm blind, or a nut. Or maybe I'm just in one of those places the Universe makes for people to fall into and stay stuck in forever.
Anyway, I should really stop putting this stuff on the net, as it's really not fair on my ex. But I just really need to tell someone, and I don't know that any of my friends are that willing to listen. So I guess it'll just sit here online waiting to blow up in my face.
Today's quote is from "Spaceman" by 4 Non Blondes..
Michael Rennie was ill The Day the Earth Stood Still But he told us where we stand. And Flash Gordon was there In silver underwear, Claude Rains was the Invisible Man. Then something went wrong For Fay Wray and King Kong. They got caught in a celluloid jam. Then at a deadly pace It Came From...Outer Space. And this is how the message ran: Science fiction, double feature Doctor X will build a creature. See androids fighting Brad and Janet Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet Wuh uh uh oh o-o-oh At the late night, double feature, picture show
8th July 2002
Well, as you can notice I came back on after writing yesterdays entry and removed a bit, which I've never done before. And I feel like such a sell out. And I'm a little worried the ex will still get pissed off about it. But well, I need to get stuff out there, and having it out there as nice meaningless binary, is so much easier than actually talking about it. I am such a nut. Though atleast I have worked out the friendship is worth more to me than the tiny chance of getting the relationship back. So at some stage I really have to stop being all whiny and pathetic, and just get on with being a decent friend. Who knows, it might even happen. But damn me getting my hopes up irrationally recently, it's not exactly helping.
Anyway, last night I went to my Grandparent's for tea. And as is becoming something of a habit, Oliver visited on one of those rare occasions that I leave the house. The food was good, and I got a few videos of things off TV, mostly Sky, that my grandfather thought I would like. Then came home and curled up and watched Billy Elliot. It was actually pretty good. Very funny and all.
Then this morning, I watched Dudley Doright which doesn't really compete, but is still very funny. Before doing laundry and then heading off to visit Tash. After walking to Helensburgh, I sat on her bed eating ice cream and catching up on the last couple of months, during which we've bearly talking to each other. It was really nice, and the ice cream was pretty damn good too. Then after a few hours of it, we watched Card Captors, followed by Dragonball Z - which made no sense, as I gave up watching it more than a season ago, and everything is all different. Then it was off to an Art opening, via the library to return Tash's huge pile of overdues. Duncan, whose been in my circle of friends since 1998, has an exhibition on at a place in town. It was seriously not my thing. I mean I'm about as not artty as you can get. And I still don't see how photography is art. Duncan has paintings there, but one of the people he is doing it with just has photos of around Dunedin, and I just don't see what makes it art. Then we dropped back to the library so Tash could re-issue the same books. And walked straight into Aaron, who I then walked home. To make myself vege satay for tea, and after failling to contact Tina, I sat in front of the computer and blobbed. I should be doing translation for Beowulf tomorrow, but I'm not in the mood, so I might have to set my alarm and get up in the morning to do some.
Anyway, I should leave before I return to my usual topic.
And dang, trying to find NZ music lyrics online is not easy. I can't find Blowing Dirt anywhere.
Oh, and my grandfather gave me a pixar style pivot desk lamp to help with my study.
Today's quote is from "Science Fiction/Double Feature" from The Rocky Horror Picture Show..
Out on the wiley, windy moors We'd roll and fall in green. You had a temper like my jealousy: Too hot, too greedy. How could you leave me, When I needed to possess you? I hated you. I loved you, too. Bad dreams in the night. They told me I was going to lose the fight, Leave behind my wuthering, wuthering Wuthering Heights Heathcliff, it's me--Cathy. Come home. I'm so cold! Let me in-a-your window
11th July 2002
Tuesday morning I awoke to nasty toothache, and homework I had to get done. I've got SO out of practice, as to actually getting anything done. So I only got about half a fitt of Beowulf translated, which is pretty pathetic, as they are tiny. So I had less than half what I should have had translated before my Beowulf class. After it I went for lunch with my classmate and bumped into Becky, finally getting to see her new hair in actual light. Then I went off to town to buy something to put in my letter to Per, Manuka seeds, as the damn things are pretty hardy, so should hopefully grow in Norway. Then I returned home to watch Monday's Digimon in time to watch that days Card Captors and Digimon. Then off to Alana's for tea, which was nice, before being kidnapped by Tina and taken off to watch Scooby Doo, which wasn't TOO crap, okay maybe it was. But I might have been a little harsh as I was feeling guilty through the whole thing as I had told Si I wouldn't have minded going to it with him, and even though he'd seemed less than thrilled by the suggestion at the time, I still kind of felt that the movie was sort of spoken for, and by going to it with someone else I was seriously being a bad person. Though atleast when I end up in bad person hell, i'll probably know a bunch of people.
Yesterday, I slept in a bit, then got up and wasted most of the day until my Romanticism class, where we talked about Milton's Paradise Lost, which is appearantly a major influence to the Romantics. Literature is just crazy, crazy I tell you. Then I went home and made tea, and watched Card Captors and Digimon and waited for Tina to arrive. We spent the evening watching Buffy, both the night episode on TV, "Life Serial" which is one of the funniest episodes ever, and a bunch of season two episodes off my DVDs.
My Season One DVDs should get here faster, they are taking too long. And even though it's like the worst Buffy season there is, it's the first, and one of my friends is doing the whole "but I can't watch Buffy as I haven't the start of it". Some people...
And as usual, my mind is on my ex, but I'm going to pretend it isn't, and go start doing homework, I have SO much stuff to do in the next day, I really should have spent all week doing it like a sensible person. But instead I think I'll waste all today playing computer games, and fail miserably. Wahoo for crappy me.Well, now it's evening. I did some homework this morning. Admittedly not much, but then I headed off to get Hare Krshna lunch. I lucked out and ended up sitting with Kezia and Becky. SO I got to chat to Becky, who I seem to see way to little of recently. Then i headed to the library to finish my work for Beowulf, but bumped into That Second Year (who was That First Year last year). So spent the better part of an hour chatting... well, I was bordering on flirtation. but then this is someone I've been considering asking out - even though I'd put money on my being rejected. And there is more than a little resemblance to my ex, but I don't actually think it's about that. I think it's more me finding someone somewhat random who is really interesting and almost certainly completely wrong and unobtainable - which is about what I need... Or not. But I mean, I would like someone whom I'm pretty sure I would never have any kind of chance with, wouldn't I. Anyway, then I got a little more translation done and headed off to the Beowulf class. I feel really awkward having to read Old English aloud. I mean, I don't even like readng modern english aloud, and atleast I know how to pronounce most words, and know the usual sound values of the letters. Someone should go back and teach the Old English lot how to speak proper English. Then after getting some readings from the library, I headed home to watch TV, and play Ultima. And that's about all I have to say for myself. I should go make tea, and then do some homework. I'm presenting The Monk's Tale to my Chaucer class in the morning, and I'm yet to read it. I'm such a slacker.
And I wonder why I'm single, when I just put yet another Rocky Horror lyric on my web page.
Today's quote is from "Wuthering heights" by Kate Bush. And do note that this one is definately put here in mockage. Though possibly only Midget will be able to spot the consumptive target of my mockery. And possibly even she will miss it.
I've been watching you and all you do For quite some time Knowing all the ins and outs of you I should've known what was on your mind But all the world is spinning round and round Inside my head tonight I will fall into the darkness And I fear I will never see the light So let me in All that I wanted from you Was something you'd never do So let me in Oh please tonight Don't let this end Tonight I'll Fall
13th July 2002
Yesterday morning I slept in. Which was a bit of an issue as I had to finished The Monk's Tale before class so I could talk about it. Somehow it happened, and I even got time to shower and still make it to class on time. Though my presentation was somewhat sub-standard, and I missed some really obvious points. And when I apologised for my haphazard reading, Ian made a big thing infront of the class about the 'humility' thing I appearantly do, and how I'm always shooting myself down. It kinda sucked, but I guess I've had it coming. Then I chatted to Elizabeth and Ainsley (which I'm pretty sure I've spelt wrong, but I guess that happens, especially when I'm typing). Then lunched with Alana at the Museum before heading home and randomly and suddenly being overcome by a REALLY foul mood. I mean, I was angry at the mailbox for daring to have mail in it. It was rather insane. And then after watching my cartoons - which was pretty good at calming my grumbleness, I came online and instantly got it all back. So I decided to go shopping as I had ripped my pants and am running rather short on clothes. And remembered that when I'd gone and helped Si shopping he'd promised to do the same back, so I tried to hold it to him, with absolutely no warning or even asking what he was upto. I am such a prick. I don't deserve the few friends that I somehow manage to keep. Anyway, I wandered off, fuming and seriously considering throwing myself under a truck on the motorway, to town. I visited Nina, which was good, and got me a lunch date for Wednesday - which I have to remember not to miss. Then I went to Hallensteins and afterlots of dithering, got a pair of jean-cut 100% cotton cargos. And I fitted the 87cm, which was nice. I'd promised not to buy anything if I was any fatter than that, I really don't need to encourage myself to get fatter. What I really hate about clothes shopping though is how much the assistants try and tell you you look good in everything and try and make you buy stuff you don't want. Then I came home, and against all logic, clothes shopping had cheered me up, and usually it's the biggest possible downer there is. But I still turned down Aaron's attempts to make me go out and be social like. And after somehow convincing my flatmate to cook for me, spent the night blobbing.
This morning I rolled out of bed and went to babysit my little brother. My mother has just had a protection order filed against her ex, so it was important that someone was watching over my beast of a brother. So the day was mostly wasted. But then, it's only my life, and it's not like I'm doing anything useful with it. And now I'm sitting here talking at people online, who mostly aren't responding, as I'm talking shite and they can't be bothered with me. Though it is proving that I need new people on my ICQ list. The only people I have online are my ex, one of my ex's best friends, and someone who shares two exs with my ex. I really should have some people to talk to who aren't ex linked. I should find out if That Second Year has an ICQ or MSN account, as the only person I've met who I've actually liked in a long while. Though turning out to be an ACT supporter, well, it's a bit of a worry, and means my chances are even slighter, being that I'm mostly socialist like. Even if I do think stupid people shouldn't be allowed to breed. Yay, people who aren't ex linked just came on. The Chickenlady, and a girl who keeps trying to set me up with the childhood friend of mine whom she knows me through. Anyway, I should probably do something non-net related. Like Honours work, or Dungeon Siege.
Today's quote is from "Let Me In" by Save Ferris. Three guesses why this one was in my head...
Everyday I convince myself Of everything I can and can't believe Abused, Confused Everyday you see your every crime Just stared up at the sky, you wounder why Afraid, deranged Hold to your promise, you can use it for a crutch Stand by, while all your dreams get trampled in the dust Leave now, before your slick machine begins to rust Last chance, farewell Among us Everyday you get a little bit older And everything gets harder you wounder why? Afraid, deranged
14th July 2002
Writing last night got me thinking. And in the knowledge that thinking is very bad, as it leads to wallowing, I decided to distract myself. So I re-read Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone without my glasses on, and scanning each sentence for verbs before I read it. Which should count as Beowulf practice, and thus make it study. Though combined with my already freakishly slow reading speed, it ment the book took about six or seven hours to read, but they were fun non-wallowy hours. So it was all good.
Actually, I don't really know why I bothered writing this. I think it was mainly as I had that Save Ferris song stuck in my head to thought I should put it in as yesterdays quote. As I don't really have much to say for myself.
Today's quote is from "Alien" by Pennywise.
Alias the Jester was a time-traveller bold, By pure bad luck, his ship got stuck in the Earth's magnetic hold. From the middle of space, to the Middle Ages. Alias the Jester Alias the Jester A jester in disguise, watch him change before your very eyes. AaaaaaaaAlias the Jester meets his fate again, Alias and Boswell activate again. He overwhelms the underhanded, using all the power at his command. Alias the Jester! (the jester, the jester). Alias the Jester! (the jester, the jester). Alias the Jester! (the jester, the jester).
18th July 2002
Sunday was pretty tolerable. I woke to the sound of the neighbour's bedsprings, read some Harry Potter, wrote the entry above, and then after a bit of stuffing around I fetched Aaron, who was wearing a cardigan - just wrong, and we headed to the BG Wildlife Photography exhibition at the Otago Museum. It's really good, and still on for a couple of days, on the unlikely chance anyone except Aaron reads this before then. Then I retuned home for an evening of blobbing and bludging a meal off my flatmate, so for the second time in three days I convinced him to cook for me, and combined with Saturday's takeaways, meaning I didn't cook for three days straight. Yay.
Monday. I pretty much buggered around most of the day. Though did go to varsity and do a huge pile of photocopying out of a guide to the Gawain-poet. As photocopying counts as doing study.... really... And that was about all I achieved on Monday. Though on Monday night I went on to Ultima, and Giffy was there. Yay.
Tuesday. Ummmm, I did translating Beowulf in the morning, then went to the class, where it turned out as usual that my ability to translate sucked, and I'm being assessed on it next week :o(. Then after lunch with Michiel, I went to town and saw that Xena season one DVDs are out. I am SO tempted to buy them, except it'll eat up too much bank balance. Darn money being a finite resource. And that was about my Tuesday. Oh, and I saw one of my childhood friends in town, who has got really hot. Which is kind of creepy, as no-one I knew as a kid is supposed to be hot as an adult.
Yesterday, i did a few hours of work on my honours project in the morning, and got to where I should have been the day after my last meeting, which was about three weeks ago. I'm just happy I found evidence for a couple of things I'd stated earlier and been grumbled at for. Then I went in for lunch with Nina. Which was really nice as I hardly ever see her anymore. As she's one of the closest friends I've made at uni I should really bug her into spending a bit more with me. Anyweay, then I stuffed around a bit, got taken for ice cream by Alana, and as such missed Card Captors. Oh well. Then last night Tina was back on Ultima too. Yay. *does lil dance of joy* And beofre bed last night I managed 25 push ups. I could only manage 14 at the start of last week (or was it the week before... whenever that computer animated army ad started), so I'm pretty pleased. I might end up slightly less insanely fat.
Dang, the birthday calls on 4XO just said it's my uncle Frank's birthday, and I entirely didn't know. Anyway, I should go upload this then do some work. And I might even get bored and go stalk That second year. Being that it's Thursday and I probably could. Except I'm too lazy to be a stalker. And in the last couple of years I've got ugly and I don't even attract stalkers anymore.
Today's quote is the theme from "Alias The Jester".
Question from Lynn Benson: If a film of your life was made, who would you like to play you ? Amber Benson: Probably John Cusack. He's got that right amount of sarcasm.
18th July 2002
Yay, I just found that Alias the Jester actually exists. I'd started to believe I was entirely imagining it having ever existed. It was a BAFTA winner too. And it's from Cosgrove Hall, like Dangermouse and Count Duckula and the Discworld ones.
Well, Thursday was pretty uneventful. I went to Krishna lunch, and then did some more translating, and went to Beowulf, and found out I had a week till my test. Damn tests, I'm SO too stupid to pass a translation test. Then I headed home and blobbed.
Friday I had Chaucer in the morning, which is always lots of fun. Then I stuffed around with Elizabeth and Ainsley (which I'm still not sure I'm spelling right) for a while, and harrassed Fet a bit, but he had it coming. Then I stuffed around until my hons meeting. Which went pretty well, I'd done enough that Ian has stopped threatening to kill himself. Which I guess is all good. As causing the Bishop's husband's death would not be very good at making me popular with all those smelly Anglicans. Then in the evening I headed out with Midget, Aaron, Alana, Lyall and Tim. It wasn't too bad. We hit Metro for hot drinks, and then lost the Midget and went to a Gallery closing. And as I said I couple of weeks back. Galleries are really not my thing, even when they are just being an excuse and venue for drinking. Anyway, from there we went to Countdown, and just after midnight got to Tim's, and he, Aaron and I watched five episodes of Buffy. So it was pretty late by the time I got home. And there is something wrong with watching Buffy on a linux computer. It's just not right.
Saturday I awoke after too little sleep, and wasted the day on computer games, until the evening when I went to Alana's for tea, and paid her back for getting me the season one boxed set of Buffy. Then my teeth started to ache, so I came home and was in bed not long after 8pm and sleeping a couple of hours later.
Sunday I lay in watching Buffy DVDs till it was time to go and have a late lunch with Tina, who was down for an OURS Tournament. It's always nice to catch up with Tina, I can talk to her about most stuff, which is good, as it lets me dump the garbage that builds up in my head. Then it was back to Tim's, for more Buffy. I had SO much Buffy in the weekend. Nine episodes of Seaon One, and fourteen of Season Six. I got home after midnight and slept until I heard my flatmate leave for work in the morning.
I got up and then re-curled up in bed and watched the remaining three Seaon One buffy eps, before getting up and failing to do work for a while, going to krishna lunch and coming home to fail to do work some more. My whole not playing computer games on Mondays and Tuesdays thing just didn't pan out. I'm such a slacker. And now I'm watching Alias which seems pretty fun. Ish.
Anyway, I'm going to break open Burrow's A Reading Of Sir Gawain and The Green Knight, and try to get in finished by tomorrow night, I've been working through it since before I went to Christchurch, and my honours project really needs me to start actually getting stuff done on it. Though I have to get up in the morning and do Beowulf translation. Yay for me.............
Today's quote is from an interview with Amber Benson.
Giles: "It's a trick. They get inside my head... make me see things I want." Xander: "Then why would they make you see me?"
27th July 2002
Tuesday I did Beowulf translation, then when to class, had lunch with Michial, and then stuffed around the rest of the day. And in the evening forgot to go to a farewell party I'd been invited to.
Wednesday, I did a very small amount of work in the morning, and then headed into varsity for lunch, and as such wasted a large chunk of the day away. Go me. Though in the afternoon I did get to catch up with Sarelle, who I haven't seen in ages. In the evening I studied for my Beowulf test, and watched Buffy the Musical, twice.
Thursday I got up and studied, for ages. I was studying hard enough that I took study breaks doing honours work, as study was a nice cahnge from study. If that makes any kind of sense. Then I went to Krishna lunch, to get some good food in me, and then studied in the library until my test. Which I think I failed. Well, maybe I just scraped through, but for an honours student thats about the same as failing. Then I came home and spent the afternoon playing Civ III before an evening of honours study, and watching a rather enjoyable movie about Playboy bunnies.
Yesterday I woke up super early and read The Wife of Bath's Tale and a significant portion of her prologue before I went to my Chaucer class. Which was SO much fun. We talked Nanny Ogg for ages, and then dropped random Discworld quotes through the rest of the class. And made lots of bad innuendo about things in general, but mostly the Wife of Bath. There was much giggling, chuckling, sniggering and the like. It was great. Even if when only covered the Prologue in the two hours, as we all had lots to say, and Chris kept wasting time being a 'tard. Damn the Wife of Bath is cool, if a man-eater. Then I went to English Department morning tea, before a quick stop at Re-Feul, and then goign to ENGL225, to revise Old English grammar by sitting in on the second years who are just learning it for the first time. I really suck at it. the little people were all better than me. I am really going to fail Beowulf. After that I had lunch and chatted to a couple of people in the library before my meeting with Ian. He was a little less than pleased with me, even though I'd done a lot fo work, as I'm not managing to catch up for all the time I did nothing, and he wants to see a draft soon. then he and I spoent ages tracking down a translation of Cleanness, so I can have some extra knowledge about the poets views on marriage and sex without having to translate it myself. Gawain is so much harder than Chaucer's english, even if they were at about the same time. Well, I came home, watched Dragonball and avoided working for the evening. The best way to spend an evening... going to a party full of people about three years younger than you. I felt SO old. All these little people floating around the 20 year old mark. Damn them and their youth. And they were all drunk and loud. Okay, it was kind of fun. I just felt SO old. Then we headed off to The Outback, and I was the only one in the group not IDed. Damn, I'm old. I should just curl up and die, 'cause I'm so damn old. And at about midnight I decided to call it quits and headed home. Bumping into and chatting with an old chem lab buddy on the way.
This morning I lay in watching cartoons till about ten. Got up, showered, played some computer games, and then at lunch time headed down to DNI to vote. Got milk at the supermarket, and have stuffed around making clocks in Ultima Online since. I should get a life.
Today's quote is from the Buffy episode "Becoming, Part Two".
Xander, making guilty conversation while playing footsie with Willow: "The band! Yeah. They're great. They march." Willow: "Like an army. Except... with music instead of bullets, and... usually no one dies."
29th July 2002
Saturday night I headed down to Debbie's for her birthday party. It was mostly fun until a bunch of drunk people stuck into me about the fact I'm not going out with someone I've known since I was ten. Which wasn't hugely fun, as fun goes. Then after midnight, and a bit of the election results I headed home.
I got home and went online to see if Si was up for some clubbing, but at about 1am, he was sensible and declined, so I headed to my neighbours party. A bunch of my friends were there, and it was right by my house - so it was all good. Fire is so pretty when you are throwing every loose thing you can find on it. Anyway, I was rather tired and smoked by the time I rolled into bed at about 4am. Then slept till 10ish, which was all good. Then there was some stuffing around, Si came and set up my flat network, YAY. And then I wasted the afternoon watching Season Three Angel. Before heading off to Bend It Like Beckham. It is such a cute movie, if a touch clumsy in places, it's a really good watch. And you could make a drinking game from it - when you see the microphone dangling down have a drink - you'll end up wasted. But other than that it is a GREAT flick. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Then I came home, had tea, and spent the rest of the night watching all the Season three Angel last night.
This morning I got up at about 9:30 and stuffed around until I went to ENGL225 at 12, it was fun-ish. It's good revision anyway. Then I lunched, bought bunny food and came home. God my life boring. See, that's why I need to learn verbs.
Today's quote is from the Buffy episode "Band Candy".
The Master holds up a young girl: "Hungry? I've lost my appetite for this one. She keeps looking at me. I'm trying to eat and she looks at me!"
31st July 2002
Well, after I finished here last time, I took the bunny food home and in the process visited my family. Joy for me. Then I went to Alana's for cheese, pineapple and ham on toast, and then dessert of homemade cheesecake and piles of ice cream. It was muchly good. Then i came home to realise I had 5GB of video files on my hard drive, mostly Buffy and Angel, but also some South Park and the like. So I started putting it on CD to clear off some space. I've used up over 25 GB, and I have no idea what on, I don't have that many games even if both The Sims and Dungeon Siege are using over a gig each.
Yesterday I got up late and did some translation for Beowulf, showered and headed off to the class. It wasn't too bad, I got my test back and had got 15.5 out of 20, which is the lowest mark in the class by like 3.3, but that's life. Then after my weekly lunch with Michial, i returned some CDs to Catriona's letter box, and went to town to buy a CD holder book thingee-bob, and made the mistake of going to Toyworld. The lady there let me buy something at about half proce as it's going on sale for that next week. Yay for getting the sale price early, even if it does mean that I just spent $129.95 on a Lego "King Leo's Castle". But it was down from $249.95 (which is also what it costs to buy from the lego website), and it's big and a castle, old school - though not quite old school enough. I'd have rather got the big "good guy" castle from back when they were against the Bat Lords, but atleast I finally have a good guy castle. Anyway, while walking it home this complete stranger started talking to me and walking with me for ages. it was kinda weird, I'm not good looking enough - especially with my presently huge fluffy hair - for random strangers to actually be interested in me, and as much as I keep thinking people should be friendlier, I seriously doubt that there are people who are that friendly, which leaves me stumped. Anyway, it was just a random weird thing in my day. Then I came home and stuffed around a while, and after tea built my Lego castle, which is only time consuming as the bits seem to be entirely random as to which plastic bag they've been put in. But it looks pretty cool, though I'd still much rather an older one, Lego has been made too clumsy person/idiot friendly. Then just as I was feeling all happy I came online and my mother was on, needing me to write to the court as Shane is being a wanker. Yay for me.
So this morning I got up and wrote the letter. And now I'm playing on the Lego website as I'm too grumpy to do varsity work.
Today's quote is from the Buffy episode "The Wish".
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