My brain

I did not really sleep last night.  The awkwardness of the evening (an evening that was supposed to be spent doing my assignment) led to much lying awake.
Then my everlasting migraine decided that 1am was the perfect time to add sharp stabby and twisting elements to itself.   That is not the kind of migraine easily slept through.
And then a had a long, drawn-out, guilt spiral about having not topped myself when I was younger.  Whether it be one of the times I wanted to as a kid, or a teenager, or at least when I first found out I was almost certainly chronically useless.  My existence is just a burden on everyone who knows me, especially with how self-involved being in pain all the time has made me, and on the stretched resources of the planet.  And any difficulties my death would have cause friends and family would have been gotten over and probably forgotten by now.  Instead I just keep being a burden.
I seriously considered a 3am text to the 1737 thing.

There is a medium to fair chance that I am not doing ok.
But I got the info from student health today to use their counselling service.  Will try later in the week as they only do assessments on same day appointments and so I can't book ahead.

Today I made it to class.  I even did the readings for the lecture first.  But it is now approaching time I go to bed and try to sleep and I still have not started the reading for the assignment that I have due tomorrow.

Blogging about procrastinating as a way to procrastinate.  What did people do without the internet?


Also, I have a lip pimple.  Will make me so much prettier and more confident for the probable fight with the semi-imaginary-one that I suspect is coming tomorrow evening.


In lighter news, the neighbour I most get along with in the complex and with whom I have been friendly for 11 years now, came into my unit for the first time today.  To get me to witness his passport photo.
He was only semi-wowed by my Lego.
People should be more impressed by it.  It is good Lego.
(And the company would want me to spell it 'LEGO' but all-caps is dumb.)