So

On re-reading my last post it came across a lot more like a suicide note that it had seemed when I wrote it.  Which left me really wanting to never blog again and leave anyone who stumbled over my blog to wander if the worst had occurred.

But I have SO MUCH rant to vent and don't dislike any of my friends enough to vent it all at them.  And I am too lazy to go off and start yet another blog.


On Tuesday I went to a Public Sector job fair, as well as getting a bunch of free pens I also realised that if it wasn't for my health I would actually be pretty employable.  I have complex feelings about this.

During the time I was there I also got a text from my GPs office that my GP (the guy my mother claims was the doctor in the delivery room when I was born) has retired and been replaced.  The GP I thought I was training up to shift to moved to an Associate Dean position at the Med School - so I guess I will have to deal with this new replacement stranger.
In thinking about it, I have realised that my GP is more than a bit terrible in a lot of ways and having a new primary GP might mean that I get something more diagnostically for the first time in a decade.  A disinterested doctor was not helping with the chronic illness thing.  Bring on the new disinterested doctor......


Then I had my tutorial.  It was not great.
The tutor has just finished his PhD and seems like a pretty likeable guy but also seems like he has a very specific interest area and the content of the course doesn't match with it that well.  His theory knowledge is far below mine, and mine was poor even before I left it rusting for over a decade.


After the pointless tutorial of wasting my life, I went to town to meet up with the semi-imaginary-one and his flatmates for our regular group hang in town.  I felt a little like he was using his flat as human-shields to stop me forcing a conversation about the elephant in the room.  After some pleasant hanging out we went to the the supermarket as a group and my surprisingly better than expected knowledge of physiology and nutrition was used to help them pick things to be functional with their whole flat decision to all go 'keto'.

Before we headed back in to town to watch the new Lion King, we finally got to have some serious conversation.   It does seem like before being edited the pictures had been pretty innocent. and he assured me there was nothing to worry about.  We had a pretty thorough conversation about it and I went from being pretty certain I was ending things with him to being confident enough that it was all just malicious third-party bullshit.
The real problem is that he never does anything to build an trust, which means every time something comes along to question it there is no buffer.  I have told him he needs to start including me in things more if I am going to be able to keep this up.  So we will see how that goes.

Lion King was perfectly fine, but just the old film with fancier animation (and not necessarily better, traditional animation has stuff going for it - like seeming less soulless than the new version).  I mostly didn't see the point.  But it least it wasn't just an exercise in worse storytelling like Beauty and the Beast's remake was.


Yesterday, I got up, breakfasted, and started getting for ready for uni a bit early, and ended up late for class having forgotten a bunch of the stuff I was supposed to take.  After class I got satay soup to kill time before a hospital eye clinic appointment, hopefully the technicians quick assessment was right and there is no change from last year.
On the way home from the hospital I fell multiple times.
I just seemed to have lost the ability to control my feet and they kept falling out from under me, or my shoes would catch on each other somehow.  It was all just pretty unpleasant.  So I curled up with bad TV and then did nothing but the same today until Dad took me out for dinner and some groceries.  My sibling being back in hospital for the same thing, which is starting to suggest Dunedin's public system is not quite on top of managing stuff.

I should go to bed.  I might have to try and pass as human tomorrow.  Maybe.