I stayed in bed longer than I should have but still managed to get to lunch with Erin (a friend from high school who is always pretty nice to me but who I am terrible at keeping properly in touch with - too much of the interactions I have had with her in recent years were trying to network for Shitlord as she works in the field he trained in).
After a very pleasant lunch and walk, I had group therapy.
The only member of the group who had seemed appealing to me as a person had quit (which is good as it makes sure that finding someone immediately sort-of-likeable didn't have any chance to turn into an inappropriate attraction), and there were a few new people.
One of the new people knows both facilitators pretty well, I am assuming he has done other courses with them, and is kind of domineering over the group.
Group therapy was never going to be pleasant but this guy is going to make it much less pleasant.
I also just don't like doing anything with that many people - especially that many strangers.
I ended up giving false answers to the questions asked of me, though framed them to make it clear they were expected answers and not true ones so as to not actually be lying. The facilitators did not seem to notice.
At this stage the managing depression group is just making my feel more depressed.
Though the looking at depression over time stuff in the work book has made me realise how much less depressed I am post break compared to prebreak up.
I am much sadder now, but less depressed (sadness and depression are not actually the same and, to an experienced mentally unwell person, they feel distinctly different).
It is showing how much the gaslighting and poor/neglectful treatment was slowly killing me.
Shitlord was pretty shit to be in a one-way relationship with.....
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