The Month I Turn
Half-forty
Old trees just grow stronger And rivers grow wilder every day But old people just grow lonesome Waiting for someone to say Hello in there Hello
1 December 1999
I AM SO OLD.
In theory, I can go clubbing as of today. A whole twelve days earlier than if the law hadn't changed. But I am not spending twenty odd dollars on a special little 18+ card that with the old law I wouldn't have needed anyway, I would have just had to wait 12 days, which is no big loss. So instead I'll just never go out anywhere as long as I live.
I finished Stardust, it isn't as good as Neverwhere, but then again, nothing is. It is very good though.
I spent today working, I can't say that I abide manual labour, but being that I have no usuable skills........
But I finish tomorrow, and then have my great-grandmothers funeral on friday, being that she died yesterday.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR, it's my one night all week on the computer, and mother is making me spend the whole time doing crap stuff for her, that she could do just as well herself tomorrow. And she's making me help her set up the stupid christmas tree, like I don't hate christmas decorations enough already, being that I spent four hours today dangling from the arches in the octogon hanging out tinsel.
And I am SO old.
I am livin' on Channel Z Getting nothing but static, getting nothing but static Static in my attic from Channel Z Getting nothing but static, getting nothing but static. Static filling my attic from Channel Z I don't know - I feel like something's happening Something good is happening! I feel love has got to come on, and I want it Something big and lovely I want the world to change for me! Gotta get away Away from Z - Living on the edge of Z Space junk - laser bombs - ozone holes Better put up my umbrella! Giant stacks blowin' smoke Politicrits pushin' dope
5 December 1999
I didn't do too much last week. On friday I went to my great grandmother's funeral. There were so many people there, and so many who knew who I was, though I knew almost none of them. Though a lot of those I was introduced to, I was introduced to as "Pam's eldest". Gee, it's not like I have a name or anything.
Then a big group of family went to gran's studio to start clearing out her stuff, as all of the family were to take one of her little nic-nacs each. Or something like that. Though a money grubby great uncle of mine had cleared out everything of value before hand. So, as it was, somehow I ended up inheriting a glass rooster lolly jar, and a toaster. Mainly because it was stuff no-one else wanted. And in the case of the rooster, no-one wanted it to leave the family, yet no-one wanted it themselves. I even got told by quite a few various family members what lollies to put in it. but the only one I'll even contemplate listening to is my Aunt Jude, as she is the only one who ever visits, or who I get on with, or - for that matter - knows where I live.
Then I got home from the funerally stuff to find two identical brown paper envelopes with something reasonably substaintual inside each had come for me in the mail. I opened them to find two identical course books and two identical letters inviting me to apply for English Honours. Which was a big ego boost. Then yesterday I got my exam results, which I already knew all but one of. And it came in pretty much as expected. I got SO MANY B-'s this year. While last year I had a B- average, even though I had had NO B-'s. I guess I'm just destined to be a B- student. Or maybe it's the universe telling me to actually do some work at some point. Like that'll happen.
I spent a good chunk of yesterday on a wild goose chase wormgirl sent me on. pleading for me to get something for her by mail, and giving very detailed instuctions to find something that just plain wasn't there. I'm sure she had some reason or another though.
So now today I'm doing a bit of web maintainance, putting my exam results on my web page, all that sort of boring stuff. And having a quiet day until I get dragged along to the Santa parade.
Fair Phyllis I saw sitting all alone Feeding her flock Near to the mountainside.
7 December 1999
I came down sick on sunday night, and spent yesterday sleeping and feeling like crud. Joy for me.
Today i am feeling better. So I went in this morning and had my hair cut (it was getting boofy, and bugging me). It's shorter than I've had it since my run in with the milton barber when I was eight. I like it, my mother hates it, which only makes me like it more.
That was about my day, really.
I'm supposed to be going to the flicks tomorrow morn, but I haven't been able to contact the two girls i'm supposed to be going with to confirm. Useless women. The world would be some much easier without women, for one thing, we'd all have twice as much space.
Jinglebell, jinglebell, jinglebell rock
8 December 1999
I'm SO SICK OF CHRISTMAS.
And I'm SO OLD.
I'll be half forty in five days, and i still haven't planned anything. I'm too depressed about getting old to really care about partying. I might just let this one pass by. Like last years one. I'm way too old to be worrying about birthdays.
On the lighter side....
I went to see "An Ideal Husband" with Midget today, having given up on trying to contact Alexandrea to get her to come (I left multiple messages, but did she ring back?). It is a GREAT movie. It has me thinking that I should read some Oscar Wilde.
And then I got me a new CD, The Tamperer, featuring Maya. I love dodgy dance music, especially the kind of stuff my dance music purest friends despice.
Anyway, i have little to say, even by my usual standards. So bye.
If you buy this record your life will be better.....
9 December 1999
I am SO OLD. I'll be half-forty in four days. :o(
Not that I'm still sulking about it or anything. But I have nothing better to do. I have even started tidying my stuff up for when I move. Even though I still have no idea when or where I am moving. But then I still have no idea what I'm doing for my twentieth, and it's four days away.
Well, as usual, I have nothing to write. Later.
What kind of pokemon are you How do you do the things you do.....
10 December 1999
Today I did a bit more work on my room, though admittedly, not much. And then did a little christmas shopping. I went to the two door shop and got a hideous candle for one of the neighbours, and then went somewhere else and spent WAY too much on my brother (but I'm not putting what I got him here, just in case he gets nosey).
That way about my day, so far.
This is the song that never ends Yes it goes on and on my friends
11 December 1999
Last night I had a fun, if quiet, night on the town. And had Japanese food for tea. YAY. On the bad side, I keep flirting something chronic with someone I'm trying not to flirt with.
Today I went to Tash's for a afternoon muffin party. It was great, sitting around with Tash, Aaron, Vishala and Karen eating yummy food and chatting about nothing in general for five hours. It was lots of fun. Relaxing and friendly like.
Only downside, it caused me to be late for my neighbours christmas party, but i doubt i missed much.
Anyway, I need sleep, as I am working tomorrow. And the day after, which is my birthday.
I am SO OLD.
Being good isn't always easy No matter how hard I try
14 December 1999
I'm over half way to forty :o(.
I worked the twelfth and thirteenth, checking, brushing down and hanging acedemic gowns. It really takes all the glamour out of graduating.
Thjen last night my video thing was great. Tash, Aaron, Midget, Karen, Alexandrea and I all curled up on my bed, ate too much sugar and watched videos. YAY.
Today after a bad start (sleep deprivation induced formication) I had a quiet day reading harry potter.
Take your time And tell me Why you lie I realise That we've been found out This time
15 December 1999
I finished "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" this morning, then went off window shopping. I got Wormgirl's present and Nina's, but i still haven't bought for anyone else. I am so SLACK ARSE. At some point soon I really have to do some serious shopping. There are SO many ppl I should be buying stuff for. And I'm running out of time if I want to do some christmas busking for extra money.
I've had a couple of unexpected emails in the last few days. One was from a total stranger who had stumbled onto my web page, and asked if i was real, as she had read my web diary and thought I was too real to be real. Which even I think is a tad weird.
I also got an email from Hans-Christian, a friend from uni who is home in Norway for the holidays. Being that he is my second favourite norwegian, and it was quite a long email, it was all good. I like getting email, shame i suck at replying to it though. But it could be worse. I do reply, eventually.
Umm, well, I can't think of anything to say.
I wake in the mornin' an' I step outside Take a deep breath And I get real high And I scream at the top of my lungs
17 December 1999
Wednesday (15th) night I went to a flat warming, which was kinda fun, if a tad quiet. And not enough people danced.
Then there was the evening, and then there was the morning, and then there was yesterday (yes, i do know who cheesy an allusion that is). Yesterday sucked big monkeys through capillary tubes. I had a killer migraine to the extent I could bearly stand, and when that cleared up I had an attack of hayfever that lasted the rest of the day. Joy for sneezing and runny eyes/nose and blocked ears. I hate it all, and i blame my ex. I never had hayfever like this before we went out.
Then this morning I polished off "Harry Potter and the Chamber of secrets", which is a rather enjoyable read. And now I should really shower and head down to SJS to check in before I go do some christmas shopping. I'm so behind in the shopping stakes. And I have to stop listening to the CD I bought for one of my friends and wrap it up.
Well, i just got home from a little christmas shopping. And I mean little christmas shopping. I met up with Tash'n'aaron and after that got nothing much done. I did manage to get Karen and Alexandrea's presents bought though. And I bought myself the "Tarzan" soundtrack from Cash Converters for $6, which I'm reasonably happy with.
Downside of today: How tragic I have gotten.
I was drooling left, right and centre. I hung around a stall at the Craft fair thing in the octogon, even though it had nothing I wanted in it, just because it had a gorgeous stall-holder. I even all but climbed into the uniform of one of the Cash Converters staff. And kinda flirted with another three of them.
I hadn't really been all that worried about being single until just recently. I think it's a combination of that fact I'm on holidays and bored, and that I've been feeling like I have no friends lately (only five people came to my birthday party). It suddenly has me getting rather desperate, which is bad. I just hope I don't accidentally go out with someone I'd rather not.
Madame Gaston Can't you just see it Madame Gaston His little wife No sir Not me
19 December 1999
I spent today half-hearted sulking over the fact I have been single for one yearday today. But I'm only sulking because I decided to, I don't feel sulky at all. Actually i don't really care, it was just something to do for the day.
Other than that my weekend has been most uneventful. I did read "Preludes and Nocturns" yesterday. Which is a fun read. But, then again, all comic books are. And then seems to be about as interesting as my weekend got.
Incase you care I'm doing 51 points of papers next year. Chem301, Chem302, Chem304, Chem343, Engl211, Engl214, Engl215 and Thea203. So I'm in for an interesting year. The only bad part will be the 8am lectures in the second semester for CHEM343. But if all goes well, I'll be flatting close enough that it won't be too much of a rush in the mornings.
Wonderwoman Wonderwoman
22 December 1999
On monday morning I took in my uni forms, so now I'm all enrolled for my papers next year. Then I wandered around failing to get any actual shopping done. On Monday evening my Grandmother, my Aunt Barbs and my cousin Rachel arrived in town. This ultimately lead to me and Rachel running wild in K-mart while the olds did some serious shopping. I even got told to settle down by a K-mart worker (who later wrote his phone number on my arm).
Yesterday (tuesday) I woke to see my cousin crashed in her sleeping bag on my bed. Not a pleasant sight to wake upto. Then I spent another day not quite managing to christmas shop.
Today, low and behold, I actually got most of my shopping done. I went to do christmas shoppping and actually bought some presents, I'm still WAY behind, but it's a start.
Then when i got home i decided to play with my oil pastels (because I was feeling bored and had been talking art-therapy with someone online) and actually ended up with something that looks really good. Though it ended up looking a little too much like Tash. Which isn't good when you are drawing wood nymphs. Though hopefully Aaron won't jump to the wrong conclusions and beat me up.
PS: Christmas Bites
We wish you a merry *insert that word here* We wish you a merry *insert that word here* We wish you a merry *insert that word here* And a happy new year
26 December 1999
Thursday (the 23rd) was a total downer. In the morning I somehow managed to pull a muscle in my thigh. And it REALLY hurt. The worst part is I hadn't even been upto to anything to get it, no matter what everyone seemed to be trying to imply. I freaked when someone noticed me checking them out in Great Wall Takeaways, even though they didn't seem even slightly perturbed, and then pretended I was the only person in there (yes, I know I'm a freak). Then After limping around and finishing my christmas shopping I got home to find out Honey, the dog my neighbours have had since I was 6 and which spends most of her life at my place where she gets more attention, had been put down. Talk about bad days. Then, for the icing on the cake, Mother decided we would open our christmas presents then, so christmas wouldn't be so busy. And Shane, the beast my mother is shagging, made a right prat of himself through the whole thing. I came so close to walking into the kitchen getting the bread knife, and shutting him up with a carefully placed opening. And I got a whole pile of presents from "Santa" (Shane made a hissy fit about how Santa doesn't exist and Mother was just being stupid), and when I thought about it, I've been single all year, so I have been good. Which is SO depressing.
Friday (Christmas Eve) was quiet. I spend a good chunk of the day sitting hidden away in my own little room. Then in the evening I went out to my father's and spent a few hours sitting in that glowing house, while hundreds of strangers walked through it, and only saw one who I liked, all night. I think that says something about the kind of people who go to a christmas house in Sawyer's Bay, 'cause I'm desperate and like pretty much everybody.
Yesterday (that day) was busy. I woke early and watch fridays "Farscape" which gave the day a pleasant start. Then got got-up so we could quickly empty our stockings before heading off to the neighbours for breakfast. After that we quickly stopped in at home again to get tidy looking and headed off to the big family christmas thing. This was made extra fun by Shane temper-tantrumming when he didn't get all the attention and just generally being a prat the whole time. Then I went to my fathers and did the whole big family dinner trick all over again, though atleast this time I had Midget there and Shane was FAR away. I had eaten too much and was feeling REALLY sick.
Today was a quiet one spent playing new computer games I got for christmas. Only leaving the house to get satay for tea, and to check out the rather crappy Kmart sale.
I'm only happy when it rains I'm only happy when it's complicated And though I know you can't appreciate it I'm only happy when it rains You know I love it when the news is bad And why it feels so good to feel so sad I'm only happy when it rains Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
28 December 1999
Yesterday I spent most of the day at home. Only going into town to get depressed by how crappy the Hallensteins sale is this year. When i was walking home I founf Alexandrea and her sister had come around to see last weeks Lexx as they knew I had it on video. So we all sat and watched Lexx then they went home and I made some sort of rice casserole for myself for tea (it wasn't what i had planned, but was very yummy).
Today I actually bought some clothes from the Hallensteins sale. I feel so wretched, as I got the types of clothes I always hold against other people. Not that I'd ever chastise people for their clothing or anything.
Tonight I made sausages in fried rice (you'd never guess I was taking advantage of the fact that my mother is away to eat rice - a food mother doesn't allow). Tonights also tasted good, but was way too heavy.
Gees, this is boring. Later.
On the goodship Lollipop...
30 December 1999
Yesterday was fairly uneventful, I went into town to buy Alexandrea's birthday present. Spent some time catching up with Peter whose up in town to move flats. Talked to a few other friends I saw about town. And then went to my father's for tea. Before coming home to spend a night flirting with strangers I have no intension of ever actually meeting on IRC.
Today I stuffed about playing computer games for ages. Went and made my compulsary transaction at PSIS, before they shut down my account. Picked up an application for an 18+ card (which I'm not pleased about the fact I need). And then went to Alexandrea's birthday picnic at the botanical gardens. It was fun, but three people indentendantly said I looked like a nightclub manager, which says something about hallensteins clothing.
I was also told by one of my friends that my glasses (the ones I've had about two years, and am supposed to wear all the time) make me look older. That with them on i look 20-25, as apposed to normally when I look 17-18.
I am SO SUNBURNT.
In other news, my squash@citymail.net.nz email address is no longer operational, as the server is closing down.
