Another year almost over.
1st December 2008.
Yesterday I dosed the day away failing to round up anyone extra for quiz. So when I finally washed and dressed and felt the house, it was for dinner and quiz with just Greer. I'm glad Greer was there, as she is all full of smarts and carries far more than her own weight. But with just the two of us, and a quiz that wasn't playing nice, we ended up not winning. We came third, missing first by eight points. Buggerit. And the team that won were very poor winners. Someone should have smote them for their smugness.
I've been constantly angry for days. I think it is the meds, though I suspect my body punishing me for exercising probably isn't helping. I'm somewhat amazed my brother survived Friday night.
My muscles have been spasming and twitching for days. Copius amounts of Zam-Buk are probably doing nothing, yet I keep plastering it on in case it is. Thus the camphor glazed pig description is still valid.
Today, pretty much all I have done is continue to marinate myself in Zam-Buk. Not the most productive day ever, but that's life. Well, that and swearing loudly when parts of my body decide they aren't going to move the way that I'd like and expect them to. Bastards. Hopefully my unit is as soundproof as I'm pretending it it.
Ergh, ihug is still playing up. So this, like the entries before it, shan't be published until they are old. Wait, maybe persistance and continual retries will get there eventually.....
Hooray for the power of repeating the exact same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Some call it insanity, I call it victory.
3rd December 2008.
I'm sick of my meds. I'm sick of my brain not working the way I'd like. I say stupid things. I swear at inanimate objects. I'm pretty much just a big giant crazy pants. Nothing good comes of me.
6th December 2008 - Nicholas, Bp. and Conf.
Get up, make breakfast, sit on couch to eat said breakfast, discover that I'm holding a spoon and the bottle of milk, return to kitchen and get bowl of cereal out of the fridge, return to couch, eat breakfast.
This chain of events would be funny if it was a one off. But it's not. It happens a lot recently. I also find things popping up in weird places. My toothpaste tube, sometimes in the medicine cabinet where it is supposed to be, sometimes on my bedside cabinet where my glasses sleep at night, sometimes on my desk.
My brain is useless. I can barely keep track of what I've done for more than tiny tiny window of time. Probably means I should write in this more so atleast I have a record to check back on later. But I'm mostly slack too.
13th December 2008 - Lucy, V. and Mart.
I is elderly.
Okay, so I've basically not written in two weeks. That would be because it's all been a forgettable muchness of swimming on Wednesdays and then spending up to the next Wednesday rubbing on Zam-Buk and wishing the muscle pain would go away. The end result is I've still got many, many swims on my card and it runs out tomorrow. One of the pool staff said I could get it extended six weeks but when I went to do it the shifts had changed and I was told it wasn't possible. Darn people.
The other reason I'm not writing in this so much, the combination of hand tremors and fuzzy brain makes typing anything readable too freaking much work.
Time I go clean, I stupidly decided to throw myself a birthday party, and my place is messy and having of sick person smell. I also mostly forgot to invite anyone, but that's just me being me.
18th December 2008.
By the time I got things clean, it was important that everyone was late. I ran out of time. The wood surfaces only got a single quick polish and through the night I kept noticing things I'd not got quite up to scratch. That said, I didn't invite Lizzie (due to having not seen her in ages and thinking an invite out of the blue might look like I was just after presents) and no-one else I know cares that much. I had also entirely worn myself out, so by the time I'd vacuumed I was ready to go to sleep. People arriving prevented this happening, so the party went as schedueled. Against expectations, people came and it was a good night. Though much of it was spent youtubing clips for the group entertainment while I made load after load of sausage rolls.
Though they were concerned about using my bandwidth, it turns out that with my broadband month ending tonight, I've used barely half of it this month. Possibly as I'm not on the computer so much. Health problem interferring with computer use is stupid. I should trade my body in for one that is broken in a more sensible way.
Anyway, where was I. Sunday, after a morning of recovering, I went swimming with Dad and managed to get my swims transfered to last another year without having to buy a full 30 more (I think the woman cheated the system for me). In the evening, birthday dinner at my grandmother's followed by a pleasantly definate victory at the quiz, having Oli back giving us that bit more quizzing power. Oli and Greer in the same team is a pretty damn reliable recipe for victory.
Monday, after lunch with Dad and the beast (my brother), I went to Sawyer's Bay and attempted to help Rachel move into her new house. Mostly I just exhaused myself and made my Tuesday miserable. I have to learn to remember I can't do things I used to without suffering for it later. But mostly I don't learn.
After a Tuesday mostly spent in bed, yesterday I briefly went to town to pay a powerbill and swap some read library books for some new ones. In the afternoon I had visitors in the form of Tina, her baby, her middle brother and her father - who seems to have gotten over disliking me entirely, which I guess is a good thing.
Today I spent a gift voucher from my Aunt Jude and got the expansion for Spore. My creatures can now be stupider looking.
Otherwise my life is mostly pottering along as usual. My vitiligo has spread to my eyelashes (over recent months - I propably shouldn't make out like it just suddenly happened this week), which looks less than flattering and spurred some paranoia about it spreading to my eyes (vitiligo + retina = blind person).
And I'm a crazy person slowly driving away all my friends.... Power to me.
24th December 2008.
Well, the great sky bully seems to have it in for me. I was woken in the early hours of this morning by nasty toothache. It seems the sort-of-toothache I've had for ages, and which the dent school said would be horrible to deal with, picked the first day the dentists are closed of the break to go from pretty much entirely hidden by my many painkillers to hurting rather distractingly.
And as if I wasn't cranky enough, I burnt myself making dinner and suspect I'll have a while with slightly reduced movement in several of my fingers - they are looking quite pink and shiny.
Should write proper, but am tired and sore. Will try to do a catch up in the next couple of days.
28th December 2008 - Holy Innocents, Martt.
Just remembered that it is Childermas so thought I should write on this thing.
I'm sitting around be cranky as I'd like to have a nap but my stomach refuses to let me lie down. Something I've et has made it angry with me. It is very irksome, on top of the annoyance of havig broken off my orange filling yesterday and having a rather distracting hole in the tooth now. Someday I think my body is going out of its way to fuck me off.
That or I'm just going entirely crazy.
I need to get out of the house. Time I go visit people who'd probably rather not see me.
