Exams suck, and I have to find a job.
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2nd November 2003 - Com. of All Souls. At Vespers, Mem. of S. Mary, Mem. of S. Eustachius and his Compp.
Ergh, I was going to write, but I got distracted by neopets, and now it's time I ought sleep, having two exams tomorrow and all, and being very under prepared.
3rd November 2003 - Wenefred, V. and Mart.
Ok, bit of catchin up to do.
Thursday I had micro - it actually went surprisingly well, I think. It's possible it'll turn out like BIOC did last semester, where I thought I'd done quite well and got a C-, but it seemed good. Afterwards I had lunch with Alana and watched her shop for a dress to where to Rachel's wedding in January. Then I came home and stuffed around. In the evening Si wasn't chatting, so I had a long chat with my FormerBit on a bunch of the stuff normal people would have talked about if the first days of going out - turns out we have some similar interests, which was scary.
Friday I split between biopharmaceutical chem study and procrastinating something chronic.
Saturday morning I had an uber evil exam. It'll be the one I fail. Then I did some window shopping, had lunch with Dot and had a nice relaxing day.
Yesterday was Physical Pharmacy study, again with far too much procrastination involved. And I went to my grandparents' for dinner, which was quite nice.
This morning I had my first exam of the day, I suck at Physical Pharmacy. I should have passed, but it's possible Saturday's exam could gain a friend in the exams I've failed box. I missed a big chunk out as I just didn't remember anything about it. And I left early. On the way home I saw Si, and waved as he was looking my way, and he turned and ran off (well, maybe a high-speed scurry is a more accurate description). I'm choosing to believe he was just in a hurry and didn't see me, as I'm sulking enough about the mornings exam, and being that I have to go to another one in about an hour, no additional sulking is required.
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4th November 2003.
I should have studied today, but I had a big nasty painful sty, which is still big and puffy but has at least stopped hurting now.
Anyway, yesterday after writing the above I went to my stupid afternoon exam and just didn't have enough time. I knew how to do pretty much all of it, I just didn't have enough time - in fact it's the only exam I've stayed till the end of in a LONG time. Then I visited Ian just to chat, and a little to lament that he can't be my supervisor. Then I bowled up the stairs and visited my FormerBit. It was actually really nice, we chatted for ages, and I managed to limit my drooling to only semi-visible. Last night I looked in the mirror and realised why my eye had been hurting all day, my eye lid was all red and swollen and generally nasty. And I chatted to Si online, he was just being in a hurry, and I was being paranoid.
Today I've done nothing productive at all. Just lay around feeling miserable - as my eye was hurting. I watched Sunday's episode of Gilmore Girls again, and then watched Iris, which is a really good movie - but more than a little depressing. Mostly I just played a bunch of computer game-age. And I had dinner and mocked Ozzie Idol with Alana.
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8th November 2003 - The Four Crowned Martyrs.
On Wednesday I kept playing Neverwinter Nights and not studying for my law exam. Then in the evening when I should have got stuck in I went to Midget's for a BBQ and a little fireworks before coming home and starting to do some work. But not much as it was late and I was sleepy. Sleepiness didn't help after I got woken up by fireworks at 2:30am and then again not long later by fighting cats, after that I couldn't get back to sleep, but kept trying to, so basically ended up tired and sleep deprived as well as having done no study.
Needless to say I was grumpy on Thursday morning. Though I went to the exam and it was pretty good, except that the law section just had too much stuff for me to do in the time we had - but everyone said that, so I'm probably fine. After the exam I went to The Asian on Moray Place with a group of my classmate and got drunk while eating chinese food. Always a good look to be walking home drunk through town mid-afternoon, the looks you get for it, I felt so not good, people kept judging me. Anyway, I went home and sobered up before going to Glen's to watch a DVD and hang out a bit before he buggers off to Europe for the summer. Hedwig and the Angry Inch is a weird movie, kind of cool, but weird.
Yesterday I was supposed to start job hunting, but I didn't, I wasted the day doing bugger all.
This morning I went to Whitcoulls and at 9:05am spent $255.98 on DVDs, as they were 20% off, so I saved myself $64. And now I might go start to watch them.
10th November 2003.
Well, as of Sunday night I had watched all but the final episode of first season Farscape, and I watched it first thing this morning. I'm happy with my purchase, even if it means I am now poor. I didn't send the whole weekend watching, one episode on disc two didn't like my computer so I spent Saturday arvo reading 120 pages of Pratchett's Monstrous Regiment until my flatmate went out and I could watch that episode on my flatties puter. Fortunately my puter played all the other 21 episodes. And I spent Sunday afternoon with Susan and Rach. It was nice to catch up with Susan, who is about to move to London, in about 10 days, so I won't see her again for ages.
This morning after watching the Farscape final I went in to varsity and saw WINZ, they are being picky-er than usual this year, so I have to get a letter from the payroll department proving my semester one income. So I went and asked for one, and they'll have it for me tomorrow.
I might go watch some more Farscape, though it's sunny and I want to go outside and read, but my skin thing is getting worse, and my doctor said there is nothing to do about it except avoid the sun, as tanning makes it much more obvious - and it burns insanely quickly. Bugger it. So on doctors order to stay out of the sun, I really want to go out and sit in it and read. It's just a shame the pied look ain't sexy.
Stand back Superman, Iceman, Spiderman, Batman Robin too, Don't wanna cause a ruckus with B A Barracus have I got a match for you, She makes them look like a bunch of fairies, got more bottle than united dairies, Hang about, look out for supergran. You can stick your heroes, your Robert De Niro's, Al Pacino too, Lex Galone's just another phoney, couldn't lace her shoes, After her they're all big girls' blouses, got more front than a row of houses, Hang about, look out for Supergran. Sup-Sup Supergran, She's a serious granny, Sup-sup Supergran, a serious granny, she'll do the things that you never saw your granny do ... is there nothing that she cannot do? On your bike Wonderwoman, lets just say you had it coming, this one is for real, Charlies angels pack it in before it gets embarrasing, this lady's solid steel, She comes on strong like a Bengal lancer, she makes you all look like a bunch of chancers, Hang about, look out for Supergran. Sup-sup Supergran, Hang about, look out for Supergran. Sup-sup Supergran, Sup-sup Supergran, Sup-sup Supergran
12th November 2003 - Sun in Sagittarius.
Monday evening I started to feel more than a little sick. I went to the supermarket and had a shower and sat outside a bit, but still felt a little ick. I ended up havign an early night - though I'm pretty sure my ick feeling was from the gross muggy weather. Not a fan of mugginess.
Tuesday morning I got up stupid early to be online and say bye to someone before they skipped town for the summer. I'm not smart. Then I watched some more of Season Two Farscape vefore heading in to WINZ and getting my student hardship application sent in. I REALLY hope they approve it, otherwise I'm up shite creek, and paddle-less.
Today I lay in bed and finished Monstrous Regiment, then stumbled out of bed in the early afternoon, showered and headed to varsity to get depressed by the boards at Student Job Search, almost all of the jobs pay considerably less than Countdown. It looks like I may have to try and go back to the stupermarket. I hated the job SO much, so I have to hope that something else will pop up. But then there is always the chance Countdown wont take me back. I may have to turn to taking advantage of the new prostitution laws, if only I was prettier - though when I mentioned this to my FormerBit it was pointed out there is a market for uggers like me.
I'm choosing to believe that someone I've used every excuse to check out all year was returning the favour when I was going to get fish and chips tonight (yes, it's only been 6 days since I had takeaways last - I broke my 8 day rule and am going to bad person hell). I was walking down the stairs and realised I was being watched, for quite a while. There was even twisting in the chair to keep watching me involved. The paranoid bit of me is having a field day, but I'm choosing to listen to the little optimistic bit that is saying I may have a chance. I know I don't, but it's still nice to think I might occasionally.
Anyway, I think I might go and sleep.
Today's Quote is the Supergran Theme Song.
16th November 2003 - Deposition of S. Edmund, Archbp.
Ok, I suck at writing.
Thursday. I went to town and had lunch with Dot, which was all good. Then I bumped into Catriona when we were going through town, so after abandoning Dot with someone else I hung out with Catriona for a while and talked geek.
Friday I went to town and did some job hunting, got depressed, bought a file box for my pharmacy notes and talked to my future masters supervisor. When I got home I discovered I had too much in the way of pharmacy notes for just one file box.
Saturday I watched a chunk of third season Xena, as it's about time I returned the DVDs to their owner. Then in the afternoon I headed to a BBQ where Dot was performing live. After partaking of the keg and the charred meat I headed to Erin's BBQ to hang with Oliver and company. It was pretty good, I added punch to the stomachs lining of beer. I also cooked up some Tegal Real Chicken and Cheese sausages, though I only ate one and most ended up going cold and congealing on the BBQ after it was turned off. The night was pretty good, between walking around the northern cemetary being roudy at 10 in the evening, and loudly watching the rugby (lots of swearing involved as we lost horribly to the nasty ockers). I should hang out with that lot more often. Though I was flirting at someone who politely choose to ignore it, but that is probably a good thing. Being ignored is better than people actually putting the effort into rejecting you.
I was woken too early today by the cat making noise and a need to urinate. So I finished third season Xena, and then watched some Farscape. Then I went to my grandparent's for dinner. They gave me some home gym equipment that my grandmother decided she is far too old for - along with commenting on how fat I am, so I feel special. Anyway, it's late, I should go take my super-fat arse off to bed.
19th November 2003.
I should just give up on this thing, I never seem to write in it anymore. Actually. I know a copuple of people who would be damn happy if I stopped - though what they don't realise is that my ranting on here reduces the amount I need to rant at them, so though this thing may piss people off quite occasionally, it's really doing them a favour.
This week I've not done all that much. Monday was spent organising WINZ stuff - I think I'm mostly there, and they may eventually give me some money, hopefully. Then the evening was spent being annoyed at the internet because no-one was talking to me.
Tuesday I stuffed around in the morning, then was picked up for lunch by Rach and Alana. After lunch I hung out with Alana until my meeting with my probably masters supervisor and a woman down from Waikato who came to talk me into a topic. It was interesting, but I still don't think it's really what I want to do, but it's food for thought.
Today I went to SJS and went through the job lists, the only thing I could've done was working in a fish factory, but with my tendency to retch that possibly wouldn't have worked. I also was feeling more than a little depressed, so distracted myself by watching the extended FoTR in warm up for watching TTT on Friday. And now I'm online, and once again sulking as no-one is talking to me. Damn all my friends having lives.
What's kind of depressing is that recently my FormerBit has been the most willing to appear to care of everyone I know - which is just wrong. There is something wrong about the fact that someone who dumped me for reasons that weren't exactly sane and mostly boiled down to the fact I'm not sexually aggressive in the first few days of knowing somebody is the one person who has actually been willing to play the attentive friend.
Ok, I'm being a selfish git and getting grumpy about how I'm not as important to other people as I am to myself, and I do realise that makes me a complete arse. No wonder no-one is talking to me.
I should go sulk some more.
Oh, yes. I broke the filling on my tooth from hell, again.
Yay for my life.
20th November 2003 - Edmund, K. and Mart.
About two minutes after I uploaded the above rant on no-one talking to me, Midget came on and we had a long chat about nothing - as all the best long chats are.
This morning I bowled in to Dent School before the clinic opened and found out that had already stopped taking people as it was a very busy morning, so they put me in the queue and told me to come back at two, so I wandered home, on the way bumping into someone I used to quite like, but who for some reason seems to have just stopped really being attractive, it was kind of a weird thing to realise. Anyway, then I came home and had a chat to my FormerBit, who entirely admitted being a chubby chaser - which was funny after the one time I implied it while we were dating I got serious told off for it. It possibly proves I really do only date the crazy ones. Or, being optimistic, it might mean that we're actually managing to be friends.... or something like that. Then I headed back in to Dent School and got there crazily early so had a look see around town, bumping into Catriona and Michail in the process, both of whom wanted to organise catching up at some stage. Then to Dent School, and after a very short wait they whacked a new filling in and sent me on my way, no drugs and no pain. It was all good. When I returned home Si was online and chatty - for the first time in AGES. Today has been good, talking to Si is good. He's one of the only people I can talk about pretty much everything with. Not that I do, as I've always suspected he gets more than a little grumpy about my ranting and rambling, even if he is usually quite nice about it.
Anyway, I'm ranting anf rambling on here, and ought stop.
22nd November 2003 - Cecilia, V. and Mart.
Yesterday morning I went around to visit Catriona and watch the extended version of the Two Towers with her. It's better than the theatrical release, but still isn't right. Peter Jackson has some explaining to do on the one, some of the changes from the book were entirely unhelpful and didn't contribute to the telling at all. He deserves a good telling off. It was mid to late afternoon by the time I got home. Then I discovered some of my exam results were list on PIMS. After having felt quite positive coming out of my exams I got some of the worst marks I've ever had. I guess going back to pharmacy is no longer a realistic option - which is possibly a good thing, it was a bit of a life-eating trap waiting to happen. Not unexpectedly I got somewhat depressed by my marks, fortunately Si and my FormerBit were both online and ready to supply me with tokenistic sympathy. Sometimes it's good to have people there to buck you up when you need it.
Today I have done amazing amounts of absolutely mothing. About the only thing I did all day was do to the supermarket after realising when I was about to make dinner that I had nothing to make it out of, so went and got some meat and some watties stir fry sauce. Actually, on the way home I got busted checking out the hottie who lives down the street - the one who stared at me a week or so ago. Someday I should atleast say hi, or if possible exchange names. But if I could put a name with the face I might start heading in the crush direction, and that wouldn't be helpful.
26th November 2003 - Linus, Pope and Mart.
Sunday I stuffed around most of the day, and then went to my grandparents for dinner.
Monday was wet and gross. I headed in to town for lunch with Dot and ended up spending practically the whole day with her. A couple of hours in town, and then a couple of hours a Pete's (a mutual friend) flat. It was pretty cool. I haven't really talked to Pete much since high school. And Dot is always fun.
Tuesday I stuffed around all morning, then headed in to SJS to see if there was anything good going, and there was. So after buying cheap milk from the G-mart, I headed home to write a cover letter. It was when I got home that I realised I had no idea what one is suposed to put in a cover letter. So the evening was spent staring at my CV and making fiddly little changes while I pondered the cover letter.
This morning I got up and after a bit of procrastinating headed to SJS and got an ideal cover letter. Then I sat in the Uni Library and typed one up, before taking it in to Nina at SJS. I hope I get the job, summer is getting bloody boring - especially as some of my friends are practically ignoring me. Then I came home, after shamelessly checking out someone going into Smithells and getting a smile back for my efforts, to find a letter from WINZ saying that they are indeed going to give me summer student allowance. Yay for income - though hopefully I get the job. I went to my mother's for dinner tonight, and then visited Gnatacia's flat, for the first time all year, and she's not that long from moving out.
Si isn't talking again. He's not been talking a lot recently, I'm going to assume it means he's getting some hot luvin' and not just ignoring me for no reason or, worse, a reason to do with how crap I am. I really need more close friends. For the most part Si and Midget make up the conversation I have. Midget is quite open about not actually liking me, and tells me this on a regular basis, and lately Si has been too busy for me (atleast that's what I'm assuming).
I've also been revising (proof reading and making minor clarifications) the Bacobe section on my Palladium site, and think I might put some effort into actually finishing the Quartzholm section tomorrow, it's about time I actually finished it. And some day I may even finish the Bacobe section, which still needs a LOT of work.
28th November 2003.
Yesterday I spent stuffing around mostly, staying offline incase I was rung for the job, and tidying up old files and backups. I stumbled upon some very old log files, and stupidly read them. I was SO into my ex after we broke up, yet I'd entirely convinced myself I wasn't - but reading old logs it is bloody obvious. Yet somehow it took me a couple of years to work out that I was still carrying a flame, and a bunch of related issues. Log files can be scary things. I also found the encrypted file journal I kept when I was at high school. I was lord of the lame, my life revolved around television and "crushes" that never seemed to last more than a couple of days. I guess that's why we have a past, so we can look back and shudder.
Tina came down yesterday arvo, and dragged me to a wedding last night. It was a little culture shock - I mean, I've been to a lot of weddings, including more than a few that were done on the cheap, but this one takes the cake. The wedding was held on the back lawn of the couples flat, and guests were sipping beer through the ceremony. It was nice enough in it's own way - unique charm and all - and the couple seem to be ridiculously in love (though my inner cynic is screaming out - can people really be that in love, or is it just that they get caught up in the idea of being in love - or am I just old and bitter).
Well, I'm planning another day of sitting around and staying offline in the hopes that I'll get a phone call telling me I have a job, or atleast a job interview. I need employment. Especially as it looks like the computer upgrade I've been planning for a while may be about to happen. I can afford it, but my bank account will look much less attractive afterward, so I'd like a job and a enough hours to start to pile up some more savings. I like having money sitting around not needed or doing anything at all, it makes me feel safe.
Ergh, at the wedding reception - also in their flat, I spent over half an hour shamelessly hitting on someone who was neither attractive nor interested. I'm not sure if I was just bored, or if I'm getting lonely and desperate.
I'm just home from watching the special edition Beauty and the Beast with Dot and my god sister. I wasn't impressed, they've degraded an Ashman by adding unnecessary crud. Grrr at them.
Otherwise I've had a pretty good day. Me and Tina watched Whale Rider, then went in to town, and I'm applying for another job while I wait to hear back from the last one. The new one pays better and has more hours but will be a LOT less fun. And it's working for a slave driver I've worked for a little before - not sure how liveable it would be. I could go crazy and kill myself.
I seem to have lost Tina, she texted about two hours ago t say she was heading here, and I got here about half an hour ago to find she wasn't here, I have no idea where she is.
29th November 2003 - SS. Saturninus and Sisinnius. With Nocturn. Vigil.
Tina turned up early this morning, as I was getting ready for bed.
Today I got woken by the wind opening my door at about 7:30. So I got up and played puter while I watched cartoons and Tina napped. My FormerBit has emailed which was nice, and was online but not talking, which wouldn't be a problem except Si was doing the same thing. And I may have been looking for something to be grumbly about. Then we went and had lunch with Nina and then went back to her flat for a little while and I drooled over the owner of her flat who was there showing it to prospective future tenants. I need to get back into the habit of being single, I'm currently seeming a little desperate and it's bugging me.
Later. I've just finished reading The Wolves in the Walls, and now feel like blobbing.
30th November 2003 - Andrew, Ap.
Last night Tina made me roleplay. She bribed me with takeaways. Damn her. I spent the evening playing the "Jack Vance's Dying Earth" RPG. It was actually kind of fun. Though we were at it in the University AI lab until 2 in the morning.
Then I had to wake up at 7am to get Tina to her Bus, so I've been a touch tired today. Though it wasn't a big worry, all I've done is lots of laundry, including washing my pillows, as the weather was hot and I was too tired to do much else. I also had dinner with my grandparents.
