Finally had my follow up.

Started the day at the hospital having my follow up, it has left me in a mood so I am watching The Great British Bakeoff just to objectify Chigs.  Ever since my brain decided he looks like he would murder anyone who got involved with him, he has become extremely attractive too me.  I may have issues.

Where was I last time?  The new bandage was big and it was amazing.  It lead to so much less pain.

And that was two weeks ago.

On that Thursday I went for Nando's dinner with Simon, Firmin and Joe.  And then we watched Happy Death Day To You, because I am a terrible friend.

That Friday I had last year's annual diabetes check up with the nurses at my GP clinic.  Everything seems fine, I had had tests the day before and everything came back acceptable.  Afterwards, I got Great Wall takeaways for lunch.

Then home until after dinner on Saturday when I had Carla's 40th to go to at the little bar above the laser tag place.  It was a party.  I somehow ended up in conversation with someone I don't really consider a friend for too much of the night - as often happens when he and I are at stuff together.  Maybe I am just the worst at politely escaping him.

Sunday and Monday were spent at home in my PJs.  I had no effort to give, so gave none.  Just played some Pathfinder: WotR and avoided all humaning.  Especially since D&D was off so I could use change of plans as an excuse to avoid being social.  Having finished my Lich playthrough, I started again for an Aeon playthrough.  While there is plenty that is different it is all the annoying stuff that is the same.

Last Tuesday's brainpoking partially talked about this thing.  It also spent a bunch more time talking about my physical health, a week after my getting angry that we kept wasting time on my physical stuff when his job is poking my brain.

On Wednesday my New New New quiz team broke our winning streak by coming second on the last night of the team as it was.  So the team name could be retired (and I felt more okay about not going back).

Thursday was PJs and exhaustion.

Friday evening I went out for dinner with two of my quiz team, as Tavendale was about to flee town so we were doing something approximating farewell dinner.  We went to Takeichi for ramen dinner.  It was very nice even if they did mess up my order slightly (and I think overcharged by $2 but Tavendale paid before I could see, I assume to prevent me from making  a scene).  Then we went to Comes First Chicken to get pumpkin pie for dinner.  I was not so sold on pumpkin pie, my dislike of it may not have been based on my Canadian grandmother's poor dessert skills after all.

Also, as became apparent not too long later, and all through the next day, that pumpkin pie is significantly made of condensed milk.... So much dairy.  It did not go well for me.

I had two plans on Saturday but I was unwilling to risk getting caught out by moving that far away from having a bathroom to myself - also was exhausted from a very disturbed night.  So I was antisocial at home while Tavendale's farewell pub crawl crawled and while Midget expected me at hers to zoom enter the Harry Potter quiz final.

I am a bad friend.

On Sunday I had guests.  Someone I have been chatting to Whatsapp for a while after meeting on tinder - making local invalid friends.  And after that, Oli dropped by to chat for a while.  Also on Sunday I decided I needed a break from Pathfinder: WotR because it crashes too much and started playing some Stellaris.

[now 2200ish]

On Monday morning I got a txt from my dad saying he was about to leave town (first I had heard he was even coming to town), so sorted myself enough to go have lunch with him and my sister, at the Speight's Ale House.  Food was okay.  Company was my family.

In the evening I went to D&D, where we got takeaways from an Indian place I'd not ordered from before and poisoned myself again, so was cramping through the game and came home to a night of being woken by my own farts.

This weeks brainpoking was fairly random though he was pointing me toward my failure to complete things (i.e. all the study my health got in the way of finishing).  He seems more of the opinion that my health is an excuse rather than a massive frustration.  I do not agree.

On Tuesday evening iTunes broke my phone updating it.  I did the support thing and they told me I had to take it in to an authorised service dealer.  In stubbornness I stayed up too much of the night repeating the process that hadn't worked until it did.  After which I was too wired to sleep.

So Wednesday was a rest day.  Naps and being destroyed.  And not going to quiz, because without Tavendale's prodding the difficulty of the day was enough to makes it too much.

Today started early with a 0900 hospital appointment to see the surgeon for the first time since the day of the surgery (not that hot one, his superior).  And once again I got to ENT and get an intern who has never used an endoscope before getting their first go while it is in me.

I was expecting it to be a waste of time, but instead got a couple of bit of semi negative news.  My complete inability to sing recently is not in my head, turns out they have paralysed half my vocal cords like they had worried the day of the surgery after all.  They mistakenly thought it was fine because my remaining side had compensated remarkably well.  But one the camera was down there it was very clear that one side doesn't move at all.  So there is that.

Also found out that the growth had contained papillory microcarcincoma.  So tests for thyroglobulin will be a semi-regular feature going forward - so they can tell when/if I cancer up from escaped cells.  Though it is apparently not a cancer that kills people.

He also ripped off the bandage, quickly and without ceremony, and declared it unnecessary going forward.  Without the bandage I move too much, which hurts, and the skin under it was pretty gross even if fortnightly washing down by nurses when they changed the thing.  Mostly it is healed up and the scar flat.  Except the drain site, which is a sore, ugly, lump.

This evening I had Nando's with Simon, Joe and Firmin, then watched a couple of Disney+ Halloween things at Simon and Joe's place.

Now tired, sore and going to bed.  I am supposed to go to Central tomorrow for a long weekend away with Oli's family.  And right now that seems impossibly hard.

Also, just realised I don't have a sleeping bag any more.  Was going to replace the shitty, old, one I put in the skip during the move but never did.

Thirds.

Had my third dressing change today.  I went in worried that the nurse would judge me for having not just decided it is healed enough, but she followed complimenting how well it was healing by seeming pretty doubtful I wouldn't need yet another dressing after the one she was putting on.

While it may be healing it is still as clearly a wound as it was two weeks ago.  Still only the same little piece that is nice pink scar, the rest is still scabby and unpleasant.  The new bandage, at my request, is bigger and higher so restricts and is slightly annoying, but SO very much less painful.  How much I had just put up with a bandage causing extra pain for two weeks says too much about how I don't take my own pain seriously.  It is like I am a white male doctor listening to a woman of colour describe her pain and then writing it off as unimportant........

Went to New New New Corp's quiz with Tavendale again.  And won for the third week running.

Gee Quiz quizzes are slightly unsatisfying to win at the best of times, and in a small bar it really fails to feel like a victory.

For some dumb reason I thought I had fully caught up.....

And obviously I haven't.

Balls, Mr Bennett! (Campest reference I have posted in a long time, not sure why that one is so scared into my brain.)

I spent the day after seeing Shang-Chi at home playing Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous in my PJs and not washing.

The following day I had to wash as I went to Carla and Ian's for dinner and D&D.  I had had a doctors appointment as well, but it was a phone consultation so doesn't really feel like it counts, and involved upping my fake thyroid hormone as it seems they seriously underestimated how much my body thinks it needs.  I guess that explains why I have felt cold for the last month.

That Tuesday's brain poking I don't recall anything much from - I think I was on topical grumbling and avoiding thinking about the goals we are theoretically working on.  I am a bad patient - I hope my influence isn't going to make him less good a shrink than he might otherwise have been.  I do remember that I got yakiudon at Miga Hako and it led to me getting chilli oil all over my Watford hoodie.

Wednesday, I finished watching Campaign Two of Critical Role.  More than a thousand hours invested, but I am now up to date. 

Then it was another quiz, with another win.  And I won the solo round so now have a very ugly New New New t-shirt (but they use surprisingly good quality t-shirts so it feels nice) that I suspect may cross some cultural appropriation lines.

And I tried out the building's clothes driers, that are finally installed after we were promised by the landlords they they would be in the building before we were moved into it.  Winter has been tough to get stuff dry so they are overdue and deeply appreciated already.  Also, sheets dried in a drier are so much fluffier that those dried by drapping them between chairs in my front room.

Thursday I was in recovery mode after doing too much.

Friday I washed and dressed for lunch with Midget, which she cancelled on so I went to South D for lunch and went to pakkers for the first time in a couple of months.  It is a supermarket I especially avoid at anything above level 1.  South D just seems where germs would be hiding out.

In the evening I did manage to catdch up with Midget, we went to Mela Eatery and discovered the serving sizes there are very generous.  Neither of use succeeded at finishing our meals.  I feel like I left half mine behind (but had picked out all the good bits, what was left of mine was mostly carbs).

Then a weekend at home, but with washing because reasons such as a guest coming to return books, borrow other books and lend me Rivers of London, which I will now have to read.

Not sure which day it was in the Friday-Sunday period when I injured myself in the shower but tipping my head back when washing my hair.  My neck is not healed enough for that and I forgot meaning it hurts again.  Hurts enough that I haven't slept much the last few nights.

Last night was the weekly dinner and D&D at Carla and Ian's.  The game is doing well at letting us avoid combat and I avoided doing anything that even required me to roll dice.  I was just in the distance concentrating on a buff spell through the whole action sequence.

Today in brain poking (which was thought I was late to, so got there too early and felt awkward about being in the waiting room that long, so went to UBS, inevitably got distracted and thus ended up three minutes late - but having spent almost $40 on a paperback novel... ?win?)

We discussed a few things, including finally discovering the facts I thought I knew about him from having met him at some point when I was a postgrad were right.  He is indeed someone I met once at a party of tramping club people - though I still have no idea what person in common led to me being there.  My brain suspect Camilla but that is a cop-out answer based purely on how much that social group dictated my socialising with randoms for a couple of years.

Also, I finally linked this to him.  Having kind of said I would after talking about it months ago.  I suggested he only look at entries from before we started.  So hopefully it was just show how subjective my interpretations twists around current emotion states and not make me seem like an inconsistent crazy liar....

I really worry I am a inconsistent crazy liar and just don't know it.

I mean, it is half my DNA.....

And do people who lie to themselves constantly have any idea they are doing it?

Fuck, I am broken. 

We also discussed Critical Role and whether I watched it because I was enjoying it enough to justify it or if I was watching it because I felt it was expected of me.  I suspect it was the latter.

Anyway, I got yakiudon again because I was in a black t-shirt so there was nothing to stain.  And picked up new thyroid meds as changing brands to have more convenient dosages.  My attempts to cut pills in half had not worked well.

Post-hospital catch-up part 2

 I think I covered the first 14 days in part one.  So that is a start.

On the 15th, Tavendale made me wash and dress and go to a pub quiz - where I am pretty certain the only reason we didn't win was that the son of a family friend who was adding the scores did a poor job.  I drank water while the rest of the team had fancy beers.

Then I spent four days at home in my PJs as three days out in a row had destroyed me - turns out slowly healing, being on tramadol and yelping every time you turn your head can really take it out of a guy.

Next time leaving the house was for D&D.  Though due to everyone being tired we just played a Llama card game.  It was pleasant.

Tuesday had my weekly brain poking, where he annoyed me more than I let on by asserting that my health problems might be my trauma manifesting.  Telling chronically ill people that it is in their head (especially after years of testing to show it isn't psychological but very much of the meat) will not leave them in a good mood.

After that I went to the MedLabs place and retrieved my thyroid from histology.  And unboxed it for Instagram like a totally normal person.....

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Because I am totally normal.

It really just looks like butchery offal.  But was also a bit heftier than I expected.  How did all that fit in my neck.

Also by this point it had mostly stopped hurting to talk and my voice was sounding much more like my voice.

The next day I got my dressing changed again and the nurse went for a smaller one that would allow more movement.  This resulted in a dressing placed so when it pulled it pulled on the wound itself.  So I was in rather a lot of pain at the quiz Tavendale invited me to that night.  But fortunately we won due to the score being added by someone who could add.

The next day, after lazily playing Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous all day, I was reminded only minutes before Firmin was due to arrive and get me that I had dinner plans with him, Simon and Joe.  I managed a superfast shower that was apparently good enough as no one called me out for being stinky, and was dressed within three minutes of being reminded what was happening.

Dinner was nice enough, people talking while I slowly ate chicken and tried not to let on how uncomfortable things were.  Then we went back to Simon's (though via Firmin's, a place I haven't seen in a very long time) and they let me pick the film, so I picked something I knew Simon would enjoy and Firmin would enjoy to hate: Happy Death Day.  It went down as I expected.

Last Friday I had lunch with Midget, was nice to catch up with her after not seeing her in ages.,  And to thank her for the week of premade meals she had ordered for me while I was in early recovery.  My Food Bag does pretty tolerable premade meals.  I may buy some more for myself.

On Saturday I went to Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings with Tavendale.  I really enjoyed the movie.

And now that I am less than a week behind I am off to do things with my day....