Drug dealer school bites.
Night falls I fall And where were you? And where were you? Warm skin Wolf grin And where were you? I fell into the moon And it covered you in blue I fell into the moon Can I make it right? Can I spend the night? High tide Inside The air is dew And where were you? While I I died And where were you? I crawled out of the world And you said I shouldn't stay I crawled out of the world Can I make it right? Can I spend the night Alone?
3rd April 2003 - Richard, Bp. and Conf.
Monday I went to classes, chain sucking strepsils all the way. I was pretty miserable. Anyway, after two classes, I wagged chem and came home and napped. At tea time Alana fed me to make sure I ate some decent food. Then I slept the night away.
Tuesday had a mostly full day of classes, from 9 till 9, fortunately biochem finished early so I got a bit of spare time at lunch to buy more strepsils in. After my evening lab, I came home and slept.
Yesterday was much the same as Tuesday, but with the afternoon off, which allowed me more napping time.
Today, I went to my two early classes, and fell asleep in both of them. So I came home and slept a chunk of the day away. Then I went and say my family in the evening to start organising graduation stuff.
I need to go sleep.
Today's quote is "Blue" by Angie Hart (with writing help from Joss).
I cried Never gonna hold the hand of another guy Too young for him they told her Waitin' for the love of the travelin' soldier Our love will never end Waitin' for the soldier to come back again Never more to be alone When the letter says a soldier's coming home
5th April 2003.
Damn, I didn't write yesterday, which was Ambrose, Bp. and Doct., and thus would have been very funny to a few of my friends whom I'm pretty sure would never lower themselves to reading this.
Anyway, yesterday I had two classes, then hunted around to get a dispensory coat, but it turns out I'm too fat for any that I could find available in Dunedin. So I've had to order one, and it wont be here by Monday, so I'm going to get told off at Dispensing, and technically they should kick me out for it. Yay for stupid pharmacy.
Today I went into town this morning and blew my money buying Pokemon Sapphire, and the bonus DVD version of Dixie Chicks Home. Then I played pokemon, lost track of the time and forgot to go to med sciences sports day. Then I cleared somegames I don't use any more off my puter, and went to Alana's for dinner. After dinner we went to Claire's party, and I've turn into a mean and grumpy old man, and was less than pleasant to be, and most have been even worse to be around, so I came home to find my video hadn't recorded what I set it up to do, which is a bit of a bugger. I think I might have to actually start checking that it is actually doing what it is told to.
Anyway, I think I should go sleep.
Today's quote is from "Travelin' Soldier" by the Dixie Chicks.
Oh love, oh love you fickle thing Such pretty words and golden rings It was a broken dream right from the start Bless their tortured, tangled hearts
7th April 2003.
I have the flat to myself, and no-one is online. I'm not happy.
Ok, maybe it's a manifestation of my inner crazy, but I dislike being alone about as much as I dislike being around most people. I guess it's a good thing there are a few people out there whose company I actually enjoy.
Today's quote is from "Tortured, Tangled Hearts" by the Dixie Chicks.
Early one morning, just as the sun was rising I heard a yound maid sing in the valley below "Oh, don’t deceive me; oh, never leave me! How could you use a poor maiden so?" Remember the vows that you made to me truly, Remember how tenderly you nestled close to me Gay is the garland, fresh are the roses I’ve got from the garden to bind over thee
13th April 2003.
Well, my flatmate was away from Sunday until Tuesday night (he was going to be away longer, but fortunately got back earlier) and I find my flat creapy at night, so I was just a little unpleasant.
It was also my hell week of classes. So I was at class pretty much all day every day, and spent my only easyish day (thursday) blobbing and de-stressing, as to not explode.
Yesterday morning I installed Baldur's Gate II, and there went my weekend, except for a dinner I'd promised to go to last night. It was ok, but I mostly wasn't feeling very people friendly.
Today was also supposed to vanish away to the game and avoid me having to be social. But then I remembered I was going to a movie, and Oli popped around to get mp3s off me. The movie, "Shoulin Soccer", turned out to be amazingly good. And got my over my grumpiness, that I'd been inflicting on people for quite a while.
Today's quote is from "Early One Morning" as performed by Nana Mouskouri.
I'll get over you.. I know I will I'll pretend my ship's not sinking And I'll tell myself I'm over you 'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking I'm the king of wishful thinking I'll get over you.. I know I will You made a hole in my heart But I won't shed a tear for you I'll be the king of wishful thinking I'll get over you.. I'll pretend my heart's still beating 'cause I've got no more tears for you I'm the king of wishful thinking.. I'll get over you.. I know I will You made a hole in my heart And I'll tell myself I'm over you 'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
19th April 2003 - Alphege, Bp. and Mart.
Okay, I haven't written in almost a week. But then I haven't really been online much as I haven't exactly been in a happy enough place to talk to people much.
Monday I had a few classes and then came home and blobbed (mostly playing Baldur's Gate II, and avoiding people).
Tuesday, ditto, but with work in the evening.
Wednesday, just like Tuesday.
Thursday I had lunch with Alana, and then did some shopping, and earned my first ever fly-buys point, it's the first time i've ever spent enough in one go. It's a shame i'll never earn another and the one I have will eventually expire after a life of loneliness.
Yesterday I spent mainly playing games, and never left my flat all day.
Today was similar but with grocery shopping, and as the day drew to a close I went to the Huntsman Steakhouse. As lent ended at sunset, just after the sun went down I ordered a plate of steak. Then i dropped past Alana's and she gave me some lollies. And now that I've finished my microwaved marshmallow egg, I'm off to bed. Especially as Si doesn't seem to be talking to me, and Midget is ranting at me because I'm and evil male, and apparently having a penis is the ultimate sin.
Today's quote is from "King Of Wishful Thinking" by Go West.
Dawn: Oh My God! I'm the pushy queen of slut town.
22nd April 2003.
Well Sunday was pretty much an echo of Friday, in that I didn't leave my flat all day. And I achieved nothing. I mostly just lay in dead watching DVDs and feeling miserable, wishing that either Tina or Wormgirl were back in Dunedin so I could be miserable at someone. Being that I'm pretty sur enone of my friends in town nowdays would put up with me needing comforting at all. Mainly as I don't think any of them actually like me enough. Yay for not being likable. All my close friends have other friends whose company they seem to rate well above mine. It kind of bites, so anyway, I spent Sunday wallowing in the fact that if I died no-one would care much, and the fact that if I overdosed on my meds I'd have about 6 hours to get my affairs in order after taking them before my heart stopped. So I spent a couple of hours planning what I'd spend that time doing should it ever come to that.
Yesterday I decided I had to leave the house and be social like, So I spent the day throwing myself at someone who has made it more than clear over recent years that a relationship between us isn't going to happen. I am such a 'tard. I really have to stop being totally smitten with someone whom I often suspect is only even friends with me out of pity.
Damn holidays always put me in an ever worse head-place than usual.
I really need to move on and start lusting after someone I don't also consider one of my best friends. It plain complicates stuff. And I may be fat, ugly and not a particularily nice or interesting human being; but surely there must be someone out there desperate enough to date me. I'm pretty pathetic, but I can't be the most pathetic creature alive. Atleast, I really hope I'm not.
Today's quote is from the Buffy episode "Him".
quote pending - PLEASE email suggestions
23rd April 2003 - George, Mart. With ruling of quire.
Well, yesterday I continued to stuff around and achieve nothing. To the point that I really should just die and stop using up resources that could be better used by others. Then in the evening Aaron rescued me from sitting alone and wallowing by taking me out to pint night at Arc. Embarrasingly two handles later my ears were feeling rather warm and I had the strong urge to be in my bed asleep. Stupid metoprolol, it makes my alcohol tolerance laughable, or possibly even mockable. So I was all anti-social and left early to come home and suddenly feel the need to chat to people online. Though at that stage only midget was on, so it was only she who suffered my exceptionally slow typing. I'm so lame, I'd drunk barely anything and yet typing was proving very difficult.
Today was another waste of time, though I did go into town for a while, and bumped into Aaron and Alana in the street, so I was social for a little bit. Actually, the high point of today was getting the Buffy episode "Dirty Girls" down off the net. Other than that I mainly spent in failing to get hold of people I tried to ring. I'm trying to organise people to go to Spirited Away with me, hopefully tomorrow, or maybe Friday. But it doesn't look like it's going to happen. And I don't want to be an adult going to a cartoon movie alone during the school holidays. I look creepy enough already. And being it is only on in the mornings, if I don't go this week, I shall most likely not ever see it.
Today's quote is from "".
quote pending - PLEASE email suggestions
24th April 2003.
Last night I did an amazingly good job of convincing myself that all my friends were screening their phone calls to avoid having to talk to me.
Ok, I'm not seeming entirely well, and I'm pretty sure a Joss quote in reference to the cover of 'Sanity Fair' could fit in here quite well.
Anyway, I'm about to go and be the dirty old man sitting alone at a kids movie during the school holidays, as today is my last ever chance to see it at student prices as it is on at stupid rialto, which doesn't have student discount in the weekend because it is evil and deserves to be burnt to the ground. And I can't get hold of anyone to go with me, not for all the answer phone messages I've left.
Though possibly the fact I've left a couple of messages on each machine has made them all assume that I'm a crazy stalker freak what they no longer wish to be friends with, or even talk to ever again.
And Alana is trying to convince me I should ring people now, at 9 in the morning and invite them, but I'm pretty sure they would all just yell at me for disturbing their sleep in and then never talk to me again. So it's loooking like I'll go alone like the loser freak what I am.
Today's quote is from "".
quote pending - PLEASE email suggestions
26th April 2003.
Damn typical, I come online because I'm suddenly feeling lonely, and Simon buggers off, and there is no-one else on.
Buuger it.
Wait, Tim came online. Not that he is someone I have all that much to say to, but atleast it's someone.
Anyway, the movie turned out to be quite good, and there were enough adults there that I didn't feel like too much of a freak. Then the rest of Thursday was pretty much wasted doing nothing. Though in the evening I caught up with Midget.
Friday was another pretty slack day, though I did go to my mother's and wash my woollens (I don't trust my flat machine with them, especially as it doesn't have wool settings). And I visited my old neighbours for an hour or so to find out how their girl is doing.
Yay, Alana came online. I have some to talk to-ish.
Today I've most just played computer games and watched TV, and a bit of playing playstation while watching the first episode of Samuri Pizza Cats, after downloading it off the net. And I've been eating stupidly huge amounts of sugar. Mostly in the form of Starburst jellybabies. I feel quite sick. It should learn me, but it shan't, as I'm depressed and needing of sugar induced illness. So long as I'm sick feeling from the sugar, I'm too busy being sick feeling to be all that sad feeling.
Anyway, I should go before I really start to point out what a freak I am.
And I am yet to start any of the assignments I have due when I get back, tomorrow night could end up pretty busy.
Today's quote is from "".
quote pending - PLEASE email suggestions
27th April 2003.
Well, it's now Sunday night, and I stil haven't started my assignments. I am SO slack. I've just been too busy being depressed and playing computer games to escape from everything. And not only does my skin break out when I'm depressed, but my huge intake of sugar, chocolate and marshmallow eggs hasn't exactly helped. I've currently got the whole puberty pizza face look. Not pretty.
Anyway, I may go back to singing badly in my hallway.
My neighbours must hate me, I know me old ones at home did when I got like this.
Today's quote is from "".
quote pending - PLEASE email suggestions
30th April 2003 - Deposition of S. Erkenwald, Bp. of London diocese.
Well, on Sunday night I finally got around to looking at the description for my essay, and it turned out to be bigger than I'd thought and due first thing on Monday morning. I didn't get much sleep.
I have also fallen asleep in every class I've had all week.
Today I had a long chat to Janelle, my aunt-in-law, aboiut what a crock love is. And about how I'll earn good money and will be able to buy a hot young lover to give me some children before realising how unlovable I am. It was great.
On the way home from work I stopped at Re-Fuel for a quiet one, and had a nice long chat to Fet and Mandy.
Anyway, I should go sleep.
