Well I went to Arc last night with some friends. Racael looked great in
a belly dancing out fit she had borrowed. I danced till it closed at
about three a.m. and then walked back with a couple of net friends and
some other ppl they knew.
The night was fun, even if one of my friends gave me the "if you lost
weight" line. And everyone I flirted with left completely ignored my
existance. Actually the high point of the night was the slab of
chocolate cake I had. Tragic, hah?
I think i should just give up and except the fact that lust is a disease
that causes intimacy, which in turn is just a way of manipulating false
emotions, so in the end I can get hurt. Joy for life.
And there was something else i noticed last night. How important
appearance is in circles of friends. Pretty ppl flock together and
rejects like me are left at the fringes to feel pathetic. Life bites.
Now I get to go hate rehersals. bye.
I just got home from "Ka-Shue" and it was amazing. I am SO GLAD I went
to it, as it is a beautiful play. Actually it was kinda inspired me to
for a novel and reminded me I keep meaning to write "my" story as a
play.
And if i was sounding depressed before it's just because my bead necklet
spontaneous broke off my neck on friday night, scattering brown and
black beads across the ground. That and the fact I'm fat and ugly and
will be single forever. Night.
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