Still still sick, so still still boring.
3rd April 2008 - Richard, Bp. and Conf.
On Tuesday, my body punished me for overdoing things on Monday. I was embarrassingly crippled. I couldn't stand up unless I was holding myself up. It pretty much sucked beyond the telling. I ended up spending the day mostly in bed, upping the excitement only by moving to the couch for another disc of How I met Your Mother's first season. It was funny seeing Alyson Hannigan in a show with her husband and her husband's screen girlfriend, Fred. Unsurprisingly I did little more interesting, what with being housebound.
Yesterday, I was still a little crap but could mostly stand up. I had lunch with Aaron, the Christian fundy who spent a chunk of last year trying to convert me to his quirky branch (that thinks it is fundamentalist but has enough none scriptural dogma to make a catholic look at it funny). It was a enjoyable meal, catching up and mostly not bothering with the Jesus talk. Then I blobbed, supermarketed, blobbed, went to a Students for a Free Tibet debrief about Monday and then blobbed some more. I was semi-expecting my young occasional-houseguest, but that didn't happen.
Actually, on that note, I received stranger e-mail this morning from a reader. Who knew more than just Alana and Emily read this thing (and I guess occasionally a couple of my exs to check on the bad mouthing)? The friendly complete stranger pretty much entirely agreeing with me on just how much of a retard I am, though politely wording it to never actually point the fault finger at me. So more and more voices join the chorus of "stop being so darn accomodating". It's not my fault I'm on the amenable side of things, and I'm sure some people like that in people....
Bad news for all those holding out for me to do some kick-to-the-curbage, it looks like I really was just being used as a transition-peroid human security blanket and that I'm no longer useful. Kind of hard to kick someone to the curb when they've beaten you to it.
I think I might potter down to the hospital and start nagging today. I've been waiting far too long to not even have an appointment yet.
I left for the hospital, got downstairs and realised I'd forgotten my iPod. So I came back up to get it but have no idea what I did when I was back up in my flat. It was only when I got to town and realised I hadn't got the thing that it occurred to me that my memory wasn't exactly behaving. Gaps a plenty. Anyway, I got the the hospital and found out I'm two months in to a six month waiting list. I've been told they will see me before the 8th of August, but how long before they couldn't say. So it looks like I'll be home for a freaking long time. And it looks like I'm going to have to officially terminate my thesis and then go back and 'start' a new one on the exact same thing when I'm well again. It'll look bad on my transcript, but my masters is pretty much just looking bad anyway. It won't really count against the work I've done on the thing. It's still annoying.
After the depressing hospital reception visit, I dropped by the office and visited Lynda. For reasons unknown I had a driving need to avoid Lizzie - it was like I thought she was going to tell me off for being sick still or something. I'm pretty sure there was nothing rational in it. And I got Krshna lunch for the first time all year. It left me feeling more than a little not well. So now I'm home, blobbing, again until it is time for me to head off to watch a midget sing for its supper. Opera, really not my thing. But I can politely feign interest. Stupid duty.
8th April 2008.
Okay, I suck at writing in this thing. Even though I've barely left the house...
Just a quick plug: Phayul.com is a news site following what is going on re:Tibet.
Thursday night, I went to the midget's final exam. There were many costume changes. Afterwards I went out for drinks and nibbles with her entourage of supporters. It made for an evening.
Friday I felt like arse and spent much of the day sleeping. In the evening I was going to go to a party except I was told I may have a visitor coming - but it didn't pan out. I have to stop reorganising my life around people who keep saying that they will show up but never do.
The weekend followed with me mostly just hanging about at home, bored out of my skull but feeling too gross to really go do anything more exciting than dinner with my grandparents on Sunday.
Yesterday, I was again home. Supposed to be cleaning for today but instead ended up unpacking another of my boxes. After well over two months I should be more unpacked than I am, especially as my money is running low and I'm going to have to rent out my spare room soon, which means I'll have to get all my boxes out of it. And home again on the failed-to-be-fulfilled-promise of visitor (and return of some of my stuff). People suck.
This morning I'm cleaning and trying to get the sickperson smell out of my flat. I have WINZ people visiting at 11 and want to pass as human.
After making use of the term a bit recently, I was amused to find Penny Arcade linking to a definition. So here it is: Bedwarming.
The WINZ visit was a wee bit of a joke. It was about visiting me to explain my options for getting assistance in finding employment to work around my 'medical issues'. They seemed to have missed the whole thing about how I'm mostly to sick to do anything much.
I also swung through town to do some supermarketing and get told off by Julie for missing her party on Friday. And I'm sure there are other things I needed to say, but my brain isn't complying.
11th April 2008.
On Tuesday night Meg rang for a while which was nice, though soon followed by internet induced rantiness and a night of being cranky and depressed. I ended up ranting at Simon in the entirely onesided way that ment I wasn't sure if I'd pissed him off or if msn wasn't actually working - or as it actually turned out, he was busy doing things that weren't paying attention to me being an insaneo.
Wednesday, after a quiet day, with considerable napping and pottering about the house in my PJs, I headed off to varsity for the Students for a Free Tibet AGM. I am now not the president anymore. Hooray for democracy and enough people turning up to the meeting that I managed to escape positionless. Then I had Savoury Japan's combination noodle soup on the way home to a night of blobbing out and watching a bunch of Drawn Together episodes, as Debbie (someone I was friends with years ago but haven't actually seen since Catriona's birthday party when I was concussed) dropped off the entirity of the series. I had originally been hunting it to watch with someone, but I realised that would be a lot of waiting for no good reason.
Yesterday, after a trip to the supermarket left me feeling pretty crap I went back to bed and pretty much slept on and off until it was time to head out and meet Alana for dinner. Just off the bus on the way home some (rather special needs seeming) guy called me over to help him start his car with fat passenger in it. I ended up pushing it backwards up the hill in order to be able to push it down fast enough to turn over. Immediately after I had him on his way I was pointedly reminded that I'm far too sick to be being such a good samaritan. I spent the rest of the evening in a lot of pain, to the point it distracted me from remembering to take my painkillers on time (they ended up a bit late). Then I had a night of feeling too sickly to sleep.
This morning, I feel like crap. So tired and achey and generally gross feeling. Sucks to be me.
Fuck, garbage truck just went past, meaning I've missed rubbish day. Ah well, I guess my bag isn't full or stinky yet so it'll hopefully not end too badly.
With my mail today arrived my copy of Fray, a long time since I ordered it. So my afternoon, other than a short bit set aside to visiting JWs (who I think were shocked to see me in actual clothes for once, rather than answering the door in pjs and having to excuse myself to put actual clothes on while they sit in my lounge as is the usual routine), was spent appreciating the wonders of Melaka Fray. I find myself actually hoping that DC sells it out to be made into a cartoon series, it's just so awesome with the awesomeness.
Anyway, I should push off and crash Oli's work drinks. Pretend that I'm all sociable and human like.
15th April 2008 - Keys of the Rogation Days.
Well, Friday night I went out and was sociable for the first time in what must be almost a month. I'm surprised the shock of my actually turning up didn't kill any of Oli's clique. It was a good night, hanging around at Oli's work drinks for a while before heading to the Craic to watch the rugby. their TV was bust so we ended up watching the first half (where Otago was actually winning) at the Terrace bar and grill. In efforts to find cheaper and more suitable eats we ended up at the Outback for the first time in ages. It says something about how unpopular the Outback has become, that they changed the channel on all their TVs just so we would stay and eat. So we watched the second half there and had overpriced but extremely filling burgers. I managed to score a ride home with the girlfriend of one of Oli's workmates. so it all worked quite nicely.
Saturday mornign I was good and headed off early to the farmers' market. I had planned to go swimming afterward but after carrying a tray of eggs home I felt pretty buggered and napped instead. No wonder I've swollen into a balloon of lard. Pretty much the only other even of the day was a couple of hours in the warehouse hunting for a Wuthering Heights DVD they said was in stock but wasn't findable, so I bought myself a $5 copy of Spellbound and failed to get a birthday present I was shopping for at all. After dinner I tidied myself up and headed off to my recent bedwarmer's 20th birthday party (yes, I am a despicably dirty old man). The party would possibly have been okay if I'd been drinking and a bit more oblivious. Instead I mostly ended up chatting to the slightly autistic flatmate and being grumpy. The grumpiness was more than partially about how it seems the ex-boyfriend is back in the picture and yet I was nagged in to not going home early. I really don't know why I was invited, much less expected to be good company when I've been dropped from whatever it was that was going on for the ex I was failing to replace. I'm becoming very much of the opinion that the half-age-plus-seven rule may not just be for the protection of the young, I think it could also be there to protect old farts like me from the general unpleasantness that is young people. Fortunately the flatmate I'd been talking to helped me pack up my stuff that was there so that I'll atleast not have to go back just to get back things I'd lent, and I snuck off. I even managed to be home before midnight, if sore and tired from a surprising hike (during which I'm made myself paranoid about that fact every one I've ever met who has struck me as probably a high-functional autistic has always got along with me - and what that ment about me).
Sunday, I spent napping and grouchy. Once I finally got up and sorted I watched my Spellbound DVD and then went to my grandparents for dinner.
Yesterday, I had a JW visit featuring someone I was good friends with at primary school and went for a wander to Couplands for bread. In the evening I was feeling a bit gross so had an early night, reading for a while but still asleep almost grandparently early (in fact, significantly earlier than my grandparents go to bed).
Today, I've felt crap so spent it napping and reading old Terry Pratchett books, as I realised I've not reread some of them since I was a teenager. I feel bad about missing the SFT meeting tonight, but I just don't feel well enough to go anywhere at all.
This Saturday I will have been living here for three months. So I'm having a flatwarming, as if I keep putting it off it'll never ever happen. I should email people tomorrow and tell them, otherwise my flatwarming on Saturday will just be me sitting here by myself as usual and not so much a party.
17th April 2008.
I was hoping to have all my Lego castles cleaned and on display for my housewarming, but I've now realised this isn't going to happen. I have enough general cleaning to do as it is and my meds haven't been helping as much as I'd like of late. Most of the last couple of days I've spent in bed feeling too achey to do anything much more, combine that with the fact my meds have been messing with my sleep (indirectly through freaky dreams, mostly) and leading to cold sweats and I've got a lot more sick person smell to try and purge from my room before I have company around.
Basically, I'm thoroughly sick of being sick. And especially sick of being on meds that mess with my head (something bugging me more than usual after last night, when my meds decided to remind me that they officially make me a suicide risk (I'm not about to take meds making me crazy, if I'm to be crazy it'll be me that makes me that way not some pill)).
I should stop venting crankiness at the interweb and go have a nap. Then maybe I'll start in to the marathon cleaning effort the next couple of days will require. Living alone having made me stupidly house-proud. I'll probably end up making the place unlivible through Neopol polish fumes. Mmmmmm, Neopol....
18th April 2008.
I just stood watching the sink fill to do my dishes, and the sink over filled and the water was running on the floor, and around my feet, and I somehow just didn't notice. I guess it's a bit of a reminder that I'm sick.
I'm feeling very stupid.
Anyway, my cleaning attempts on Thursday ended in failure to achieve much at all. I had dinner at Alana and missed my stop on the bus on the way home and didn't notice until someone else stopped the bus (this following after almost throwing up in Countdown from the flickering of the lights). Not me at my best.
Today, cleaning attempts have again achieved little. Significantly as my broadband finally came on. Youtube is an evil distraction. I'm also not feeling great about standing upright, which makes doing stuff seem less good. And I was out thought by visiting JWs. I can usually keep them on their toes with my bible smarts and general know how. Today I sat nodding and gawking like a retard.
I should push off. I have to clean up my semi-flooded kitchen of the surface water. Proper cleaning can wait till tomorrow, people aren't coming till the afternoon.
19th April 2008 - Alphege, Bp. and Mart.
I've spent the day cleaning, which means that now as my party is about to begin I am already tired and cranky. Go me.
The place is looking semi-decent. Now I just have to wait and see if anyone shows. Catriona and Meg having both left town means there is no-one coming who is likely to be on-time-ish.
Woot, Oli just rang, which means he should turn up eventually. Now I just have to try and not eat all the chocolate before anyone arrives.
Ergh, I just lit incense in order to hide the pervasive fish smell of last night's dinner and the incense small has mixed with the polish smell in a bad way. People are going to think I'm trying to hide a drug problem.
22nd April 2008.
I was about to write about my party and the time since, but I'm too tired and cranky and lazy. Will try to do a catch up write tomorrow.
23rd April 2008 - George, Mart. With ruling of the quire.
Well, my party started slow. For the first half hour I sat playing computer games and wondering if anyone would brave the crappy weather. Then Oli, Bridget and Lyall turned up, with drinks, food and boardgames. Not trusting me to have catered (I had sausage rolls and many packets of chips that I still have as they were never got to - I may have to have another party some day) they pretty much supplied a stocked party. Friends are great. Since there were four of us we had a game of Settlers of Catan. Lyall was the only one remotely confident in the rules, and won. He may have been tweaking the rules to his advantage. Emily from the office arrived, the only piece of evidence that I'm capable of making grownup friends, just as the game was tying up. So hopefully it wasn't too boring for her. Emily was also the only person to RSVP to the invite email saying that they were coming and stilla ctually come. The weather was crappy and there was much piking. But I had a fair few people turn up and it turns out my flat only looks big because I have almost no furniture. Carla, Ian and Bruno came and represented the role-player communuty. English Simon, Ellen and Karl (who I was friends with at primary school but haven't talked to all the much since) were all brought along by Oli and lead to my flat being rather full. There was Articulate played. I sucked.
And that was my party. Tomorrow I'll try to write of the time since, currently I'm falling asleep at the keyboard even though it isn't late.
25th April 2008 - Mark, Evan. Greater Litany. Last day on which Easter can fall.
Okay, failing to write. I've got a headcold that is messing with my painkillers and making me feel mostly too crap to care about this thing.
29th April 2008 - Departure of Noah from the Ark.
OKay, I covered my party. At about 11, I sent people off to town and went to bed - being teased by Oli about more poor hosting but as I'd let people stay an hour later than I'd planned I wasn't too worried.
On Sunday morning, which was bright and sunny and warm and as not like Saturday as was possible, Si came around to say hi and attend the flatwarming at temporal-remove. Then I had a quiet day cleaning up after the party, chatting to party goers who dropped back past (for sad reasons, their car having been broken in to while they were at my party and parked directly outside the window they were sitting beside - Ah, the bad part of town) and grandparent dinner. At said dinner my mother presented me with a new Telecon cellphone - working on the assumption that my never replying to her text-messages was because I didn't have $10 txt and that supplying a phone with such would lead to my being a better son.
Monday was spent watching Veronica Mars and entertaining JWs.
Tuesday, I don't remember at all. I think I probably watched more Veronica Mars. Possibly the day just didn't happen - wait, it must have as I wrote a non-entry entry in this thing on Tuesday.
Wednesday, I was feeling more crap than usual and slept most of the day.
Thursday, again with the sleeping. In the evening I headed to Alana's for dinner but ended up collapsed on a park bench for a while, while my body tried to decide if it was going to throw up in to the nearby rubbish bin. So, for I think the first time ever, I piked on Alana dinner. Instead I got takeaways on the very slow walk home and spent the night feeling very, very unwell.
Friday morning I was all intending to go to the dawn service. Unfortunately I'd had a night of cold sweats and broken sleep and wasn't up to going anywhere at all. What I think was probably just a headcold had counteracted my meds and everything was bad. So I spent the day in. Mostly in bed. Just a quick trip to the nearby shops after dinner to get some vicks.
Saturday, much like Friday but without the leaving my house at all.
Sunday, feeling much better. Just exhausted. So the day was again spend all inside-y until my grandfather came and fetched me for my grandmother's birthday dinner.
Yesterday, sleeping won. And waiting for an email from my supervisor, who it turns out is in Europe. I shall have to talk to the department about extending my deferal. Which I should probably get to doing.
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