So, I finally finished uploading the old web diary into blogspot yesterday. In the process adding two pointless new entries, mostly just because I had posted on Facebook too much already yesterday.
It has left me feeling like maybe I should resume blogging a bit, now I have it somewhere much more laziness friendly. And also because my hate for Facebook somehow managed to grow. Not that google is any less evil a source to give all my personal data to.
So last night I planned out in my head, as I was drifting off to sleep, a broad synopsis of things I should write about in way of vague catchup of the last seven or eight years. But this morning I stupidly let suspicions get the better of me and installed a dating app I had seen active on my partner's phone when we were hanging out on Monday.
Never look up a long term partner's dating profile. Seeing that someone you have spent over 4 years committed to is advertising themself as a singleton desperate to find some loving..... it is not pleasant. And, being me, I immediately messaged with aggressive honesty explaining why I had installed the app and my displeasure about what I had found.
I expect the by-far-longest (in life eaten, if not in time spent actually in each other's company) relationship of my life is probably about to end on me. Because of course the first time I have made it past the 7 month mark was to waste over four years on being strung along by someone who, it seems, is still hoping to trade me in for someone better.
Winning at life.
And right when I was starting to believe things were beginning to actually work.
I am an idiot.
And too in my head to write, or even remember the point of, the catch up post I had planned to be uploading now.
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