A repost of a web-diary that predated the term blog - as previous hosting is disappearing it can now go here.
24 October 1998 - 29 July 1999 originally published on geocties.
August 1999 - 2012 originally published on ihug.
Disclaimer
Though a "Diary" my online diary is a work of FICTION.It may at times strongly reflect actual events of my life, often how I honestly perceived them and display my genuine reactions. But not always and everything contained within should be treated as a fiction.
This is also a personal diary, so by reading it you are violating my privacy. And as it is a personal diary you are not allowed to hold anything you read in it against me, as you shouldn't have been reading it anyway.
Also, this diary is not to be read by anyone who has gone out with me, would like to go out with me in the future, or suspects I may like to go out with them.
Monday, 24 February 2020
Fail human
I started breakfast two hours later than intended.
Then I did very little for a while. Was feeling a bit achy and having that annoying heavy feeling on my chest, making breathing seem too much like effort.
But I washed and dressed as was on time to see my GP. He thinks the chest problems are connective tissue inflammation coming after the pneumonia, irksome but not anything serious. Hopefully he is right. As that might mean the new meds I have started this evening will actually help.
Then the appointment went awkward, I have an attack of intrusive thoughts and in an attempt to drown then out I ended up being someone what radically honest about how poorly I am handling my anxiety and depression. I am now getting a psych referral, with the service my counsellor said he thought I was doing well enough not to need. I feel like I am cheating on student health, who have been dealing with my crazy, by letting my GP get involved.
But I am doing pretty badly, so the more help the better. Maybe.
Anyway, went to town and got my meds. Got some groceries. Stuffed around a bit to make sure I wasn't walking through the exchange during the "danger window" (i.e. when Shitlord might be crossing my route - because I am a fucking functional adult). I got a "real fruit ice-cream" from the Octagon two-four. It was not good, I do not recommend.
And that was my day.
My efforts to focus more on the positive on this thing do not seem to be going great....
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