Disclaimer

Though a "Diary" my online diary is a work of FICTION.

It may at times strongly reflect actual events of my life, often how I honestly perceived them and display my genuine reactions. But not always and everything contained within should be treated as a fiction.

This is also a personal diary, so by reading it you are violating my privacy. And as it is a personal diary you are not allowed to hold anything you read in it against me, as you shouldn't have been reading it anyway.

Also, this diary is not to be read by anyone who has gone out with me, would like to go out with me in the future, or suspects I may like to go out with them.






Click Here for the old site, as backed up by Wayback Machine (I have gone with the 2007 version as it is the latest that is still before vodafone crunched a bunch of my files)

Tuesday, 15 August 2023

Hrm

 Have realised that I am not doing okay.


I spent the whole ride home from dinner with Simon, Joe and Firmin ranting at poor sweet Firmin about stuff.  Significantly about how my therapy is going.

I have got very in my head about what a bad patient I am.  Client? Patient? Whatever the modern terminology is for the crazy on the couch is.  Having spoken to the guy every week since March, the amount his report seemed to need to crib off a letter from a psychiatrist who had literally only met me once has me feeling I have been doing it wrong.

And from there the spiral of blame and self recrimination.

Because I do me.


Mostly haven’t had the motivation to do anything, or the mental space to take much in.  So watching YouTube.  Mostly reaction videos about Nimona so I can agree with good takes, judge bad takes and then forget all of it within minutes….

Such productive use of time.

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