Still so run down, what did I do to myself

My body is rudely taking a long time to recover from the exertion of the Christmas period.

It is irksome.

I feel so drained.

So mostly I have just been reading books, or listening to audio books.  My eyes have been a bit hit and miss about screens, so haven't been doing TV or computer games so much.

On the 13th I went to a high tea at The Press Club for a friend's birthday.  It was very fancy, but as I was too me to mention my food sensitivities when asked beforehand I ended up sending the following night being pretty unwell with allergic reactions.

The following Saturday was a BBQ with boardgames where I finally tried out the Uk'otoa game I got last year.  It is pretty straight forward and quick, and not unfun.  Just not as fun as many other games.

The exhaustion and a bunch of headachiness means I have procrastinated all of the preparation I should have done for the ACC thing.  Also, every time I try to read through the file again I am just disappointed by it and now much worse my communication with my clinical psychologist was than I had thought it was.

Part of my worries I screwed the whole thing up by trying too hard to be likeable.  The need to seem like a human and be easy to talk to but then I realise that I managed a much better job talking to the psych registrar over the couple of years, in spite of having much less in common and more reason for it to be awkward, so there must have been something else up.

It is all annoying and stupid.

And now making things stressful and hard.

Probably a bit of a factor in the ongoing headachiness.

I did get a small amount of advice on what I should be doing to prepare but as that significantly featured having a support person for the meeting, and the idea of having a support person is even more stressful, it has not led to achieving much.

Forcing one of my friends to massively inconvenience themselves just to witness my ineptitude doesn't seem particularly a helpful expenditure of my social capital.  Why am I referring to social capital, have I become one of those people who thinks of friendship as a commodity?  And it would just be me making a burden of myself.

Otherwise... what is happening.  My country is falling in fascism as the NACT coalition puts Atlas Network funded white supremacy above all over concerns.