I have been asked out for a drink this evening with someone who has been hitting on me in a laid back way since October.
There is a chance that tonight I might kiss an non-Shitlord mouth for the first time in many years.
Maybe.
Still not confident that I am ready. But might help me to stop missing Shitlord's kisses. It might help weaken the urge to reopen contact - which gnaws at me, for all that I know no good would come of it.
Which makes the shower I had today more justified. While I was washing I was being glad that Susan had made me leave the house on Friday or it would have been even longer since I had washed and I would have gone into it smelling even worse.
Still feel a bit physically weird, but temperature seems normal today so am assuming yesterday was just weirdness not the sign I am growing new pneumonia. Hopefully.
My dinner has a lot of garlic in it. So maybe won't try out kissing again tonight. I am really not confident I am ready or want to. With anyone. But also not with a keen mostly stranger - months of pure text interaction are seeming more and more like something that doesn't actually count now that actually meeting is on the table.
Also, good chance seeing me in person will put him off the idea of possibly being more than friends anyway. I am odd looking in a way photos don't always catch.
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