Now my diary is on IHUG
Let's start at the very beginning
1 August 1999
It's the start of August and my web diary has swapped servers. I was getting so sick of Geocities. Unfortunately it means that all those tragic hostel bound freaks can now read this. Though it does mean I'm allowed to swear in it now. so here I go. DARN. HECK. DRAT. FRIDGE. FIRE TRUCK. HARPY. DAEMON. MOTHER. VILE BEAST.
Wow that was refreshing.
Anyways, I just got back from spending the weekend at Oturehua. There was snow EVERYWHERE. And apart from all the Bunce family domestics it was a GREAT weekend. And a terrific escape from my mother.
We went up via the pig route and got there about 11 on friday night, having carefully avoided ranfurly using the gravel bypass thingee. And walked out to the dam to throw rocks and iron fence posts through the ice.
Saturday we went to Ranfurly to buy more chocolate milk. And then drove around Oturehua looking at stuff, and enjoying the majestic beauty of the Ida Valley.
It was LOTS of fun. We had toasted marshmallows too. :o).
Then coming back today I got car-sick. Which really sucked. So I vomited on the roadside at Lee Stream, so violently it came out my nose. VERY GROSS. So now I am eating ice cream to make me feel better.
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, anyways. That will do for now
You can call me swinger
It ain't true but what the hell
Call me fancy singer
And you'll really ring my bell
3 August 1999
Yesterday I did pretty much nothing all day. I am such a lazy bumpkin. I went to my classes, but I only had two lectures so that wasn't too hard.
this morning I wagged my Chem204 tutorial and spent the time buying fake fur to put inserts into my golf pants with. I got tipped-mango (which was VERY expensive) and have now cut and pinned it into place. Once mother gets home I'll borrow her sewing machine and stitch it up. Then phase one of my plan to have sleaze pants by saturday will be complete. YAY.
They were quite nice about my poem in ENGL217 today, which was a great ego boost. Ummmm, well I can't think of anything to say now, so bye.
A matchbox of our own
A fence of real chainlink
A grill out on the patio
Disposal in the sink
4 August 1999
As you can probably guess from the song quote above, I'm having a wishing-I-was-in-a-relationship-day. I've spent half the day singing various song of love and marriage. Especially "Band of Gold", which is a rather depressing bit of country music (yes, i know, country music is just plain wrong). Other than that it has been a rather uneventful day. Stumbling of to my Chem204 lecture and only being three minutes late. Talking to Nina for a while before Chem203. Having Hare Krshna food for lunch. Bumping into Amy-the-wormgirl (who I haven't seen in ages) while I should have been starting my research. Visiting a friend who just opened a crappy tourist junk shop. Having a long and dull lab. Getting Goblin germs while I attended part of the SAS (sciences association) meeting. Then heading home in the rain.
And Rachael is hasseling me about flirting with someone :o(.
I am human and I need to feel loved
Just like everybody else
5 August 1999
Ummm, today was dull. Dullness seems to be becoming the story of my life. I started the day with an exceptionally exciting Chem204 lecture on soil (please not heavy irony on the level of excitement). And then the day just continued like that. I did get a threatening email from Wormgirl though. She seems a tad paranoid that I'll find out who she scored last year in her hall. So now I have to find out. Anyway, thats me for now. Bye. Love you all.
Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices
I've heard them calling my name
9 August 1999
Gee, I haven't written in AGES. I am SO bad.
Friday I did very little. Uni in the morning, went to a GREAT lunch time theatre. Had planned to go to "Cube" but it was sold out. :o(. So instead I went and gossiped with Peter (who is from Tuatapere *lol*) for a couple of hours before getting IDed by the bouncers at Feul.
Saturday morning was spent sewing my furry pants. Then I went and helped my father's ex set up a function at Arc. After having done some manual labour and blew my feeble little mind watching "Animation Now" at the film festival. then it was a mad rush home, through the shower and off to meet up with Becky so we could go to the dance at Arc (being that I had earned free tickets). And it was LOTS of fun. I got to premiere my furry pants in style.
Sunday morning Peter visited to borrow a video and a CD off me. Then I had a gangshow function, which bit big monkeys. Amy (wormgirl) bet me up. She is SO BUTCH. Typical bl**dy woman, betting up a poor defenceless male. She should be a shamed of herself. Then last night I got "Creatures" from a friend of mine, it is the most pointlessly addictive game EVER. It is a platform based virtual pet program. And they are so cute. And if you feed them aphrodisiacs (?spelling?) they get all horny and breed. Talk about dodgy.
Today I wore my furry pants to uni. It was fun.
My thea102 classes are SO much fun, I'm SO glad I'm doing the paper.
Anyways, thats about it for now. Love you all. Bye.
As president I must be strong and decisive, I will not hesitate to.... ummmm... Okay so it isn't a song, it is something I heard at the OUSA election forum today.
11 August 1999
Yesterday I got distracted playing "Creatures" so didn't get around to writing. Yes I know I'm bad. But then there was little to write about yesterday anyways, I wagged my CHEM204 tutorial again, I fell asleep in my CHEM203 lecture, they liked my poem at ENGL217, John Dolan even recommended it. :o)
Today I fell aasleep in my CHEM204 Lecture, and it was with a new lecturer, who noticed. Then I went and photocopied some stuff so Allan Blackman would think I had been working on my research assignment for CHEM203. My CHEM204 research is due on friday and I haven't started. I am SO going to be in trouble.
At lunchtime I got lots of free stuff and attended the SGM. Which was surreal. Before going to a LONG BORING LAB. Anyway thats all I can think of for now. Buh-bye.
Tell him that you care just for him
Do the things that he likes to do
Wear your hair just for him, girl
Coz you won't get him, wishin' and a hopin'
12 August 1999
Well today was FUN (not). I'm having a grumpy day. Starting with CHEM204, where I fell asleep (again). Then I did photocopying for the assignment, the draft of which is due tomorrow. :o(. But I talked to Amy-the-wormgirl, which was fun, even if she hit me really hard for calling her butch on this page the other day.
I finally managed to stay awake for a whole lecture at CHEM203, my first conscious lecture this week. Then I had a great lunch with the Krshna people.
At my CHEM204 lab I was having nasty stomach pains. And at Poetry (ENGL217) they read my poem first, and weren't very nice about it. And I got my first in-progress mark, a B. Which is good, but it comes with a blurb saying that my first poem was of a standard that should be earning A's, but the rest of my poetry sucks. And he used lots of big words, like "prosody" and "oratorical" which I thought I knew the meanings of, but still checked the words in the dictionary, in case I was wrong. And they weren't wonderfully well suited. If I was more cynical I would think he had used them just to make himself look more knowledgible.
Anyway, I'm grumpy, so Buh-bye.
A scrub is a guy who can't get no love from me
14 August 1999
Yesterday I fell asleep in my Chem204 lecture. Then by mid-afternoon I felt like crap. So last night I went to bed at 7:30. And I spend all day today in bed. And I still feel sick. I'm too sick to write more. Pity me.
The water is my daughter
I skip like a stone
15 August 1999
I still feel absolutely horrid today. I've spent all day curled up in bed listening to LPs. But I've thought up a couple of poems, neither good enough for my poetry class though. :o(. And I remembered that I had forgotten to enrol for the longer fiction course i wanted to do, and enrolments closed on friday :o(. but I'll go along on monday and see if anyone has pulled out and left a space. Anyway that's me for now. Buh-bye.
Last time I saw him
Last time I saw my baby
Last time I saw him
He was greyhound bound
But I'm not losing sleep
Coz he's coming back to me
RAIN or SHINE
La de da do do da de de de....
16 August 1999
This morning was a nice slow gentle start. A walk in the rain. And a nice Chem203 lecture, where all the notes were on the handout. Then lunch and a quick stint at the library were followed by a nice slow theatre class. Then I visited Nina, who I almost never see anymore. And she has great new hair.
The Students For A Free Tibet meeting I went to afterward was surreal, achieving little and having small half-tibetian children battling in it and beating up the secretary (Sarah).
Then my long awaited (hmmp, since yesterday anyway) Longer Fiction class. And I'm not sure I learned much of use, but it was fun.
On the way home I stopped at the BP station on the one-way and bought a can of fresh-up spritza. Then guy at the checkout (or is that word only applicable to supermarkets) said "so you like the stuff eh? I tried it once but nah. But what suits the goose doesn't always suit the gander." I had to bite my tongue to not laugh. Such heavy hand colloquillism. WOW. But then I got offended, was he calling me a goose, coz he was hyper-butch so obviously ment that he was a gander. Humph. I'll slap him to death wioth a sequined hand-bag if he tries that again. LOL. I get so weird late at night, I'm scaring myself. So LATER ALLIGATOR.
Tom Tom Turnaround, don't ever turn around, don't ever leave my life
17 August 1999
I's bald.
This morning it SNOWED!!!!!! My papers were all wet, but it was still fun. Unfortunately hardly any settled. Then I got a ride to uni from my neighbours making me twenty minutes early. But by the time we had had a snow fight in my neighbour's work carpark and I had talked to Midget on the way to Chem I was 10 minutes late for my tutorial. I am so decadent.
Between Chems I talked to Nina and Tina, bith of whom I have been missing lots lately. After my second chem for the day I went into town to get a hair appointment, and ended up having my hair cut, for the first time since march. And it looks FINE. Well thats what one of my friends said. my more realistic friends said "wow, it's not big". The down side, they convinced me to buy product. So now I have hair putty and varnish, both of which smell very edible.
Then after my poetry class I walked home with Saridha (?spelling?) and Wormgirl. Which was fun.
Now I'm busily chatting to my ex on ICQ. Actually we met 11 months and 18 days ago. I have the feeling I'm not going to be the most cheerful person ever on the 30th. (Happy now Amy, it is almost dirt).
Anyway, later.
Day by day, day by day.
Oh Lord, three things I pray.
To see thee clearer.
To love thee dearer.
To follow thee nearer.
Day by day.
18 August 1999
Today I awake, a cold morning. Rising from bed before day was dawning. My papers delivered in two degree air. Coming home and washing my newly short hair. Playing vinyl while dressing in frumpy old clothes. Walking despaired with cold heart and cold toes. Sitting in CHEM204 which I hate. Then shopping for lego, always great. A chunk of plastic to despell dispair, but so low it didn't get me there. My Co-ordinate meeting I was spent away, to do the work for another day. So I got myself an early lunch, before ops shopping with friends, a bunch. And now an end to this curse, and I shall write no more verse.
I didn't buy anything while I was op shopping, i had already blown my weeks budget on a lego fix. What a shame it didn't last longer. I am down again. Demons I thought I had defeated are confronting me, bearing down on me with their tongues of fire and I fill with a melancholy daydream of sand dunes and butterflies. The hidden joys of the clinically diagnosed. The depressed.
Strange grasps of thought. That is how to think. Clips of fact and metaphor dance. Sugarplum fairies on a static screen. Bursts of fiery inspiration. Ideas and images to write on paper. Interesting ways to die. And all the things that are never shared.
It is a wierd mood day. I'm having one of my hyper-creative, LP listening, depressive days. I beginning to worry that I might have to start seeing a head-shrinker again. Which is a right bugger. Or maybe I just need to meet someone. It's about time I did. Anyway, if you've read this you have been punished enough. Later.
Oh, how can I forget you, boy.
When there is always something there to remind me.
Do do do da do doo.
Always something there to remind me.
I was born to love you.
And I'll never be free.
You'll always be a part of me.
19 August 1999
I'm sick, again/still. I think that might be why I was all wierd yesterday. I blackout out twice today, once in a lecture and once when I was standing up at lunchtime. Not a good look. So I wagged my CHEM204 lab. Dr Peake must be getting really annoyed with me, I do NO work when I go, and now I'm not even going.
Other than that may day was all fun. I got another replacement back pack after my first replacement bag fell apart. I had a mega choc shake for the first time in AGES, and they have increased the price and changed some of the ingredients, so I won't be having another one soon. I fell in lust at first sight with three or four strangers I wouldn't recognise again if I saw them. I could fell my heart beat in my eyes for most of the day. I had a nap from 4:30 till a bit after 6, and now (almost nine) I'm just getting ready to head back to sleep.
I hate being sick. I just have to get well for the two parties I have to go to this weekend.
I don't want kids of mine running around and raising hell,
But I don't care what my kids do if they belong to you as well.
21 August 1999
Last night (after having spent all day in bed reading Only you can save Mankind) I went to Aaron's suprise birthday party that tash threw for him. I was great and I had a chance to catch up with Aaron and Tash, neither of whom I hardly ever see nowdays. Tragically I spend half the night flirting at one of their friends who I don't really know that well, and usually have the common descency to just drool at from a distance. Tash said jumping someone was a more subtle way of flirting, but I'm sure I wasn't THAT bad. Atleast I hope I wasn't. Though Tash also thought it wasn't entirely oneway, and she made the mistake of telling me. Like I need encouragement, it just makes me worse. I am SO TRAGIC!!!!! I have to learn not to throw myself at every attractive person who I meet. It plain isn't flattering.
Then this morning I went to do my ODT run and realised I was too sick / tired to walk, so had to call in a sick day. Then I slept till 2 in the afternoon. And i'm still really tired. Which is ultra freaky considering I spend most of my life sleeping nowdays.
I just finished watching The Truth About Cats and Dogs. Crying through romance movies is always a good use of a lonely afternoon.
At least I have plans tonight, so I can't sit home and mope. I have Wormgirls 20th to go to, she is SO OLD. Actually I am way too tired to have much fun, but I'll go along for a while. And I said I'd take some 80's music, which I forgot to buy tapes to dub them onto. So I'll take one LP, coz if anything happens to it, it was only one LP, and I think I'll be able to survive. Or maybe I'll just take my B-52 CD. CDs are easier to look after.
Anyway, later.
Something fun for those of you with international internet access.
It said I was as open to new ideas as Wicket, as conscientious as Hans Solo, as extraverted as Lando Calrissian, as forgiving as Bobo Fett :o(, and as neurotic as C-3 PO :o(. I am so not neurotic. And I am luv'ly and forgiving. So obviously it is flawed.
22 August 1999
Last night I ended up taking two LP's (Culture Club - Colour by Numbers and Chart Attack 1984), and the B-52's and a cassette I hadn't known I had (Michael Jackson - Bad). And I had a generally great night. Fortunately there was no-one at this party I felt the need to embarrase myself by shamelessly flirting at. So instead I had a great time dancing on Amy-the-wormgirl. And yes I do mean "on". I think I deserve the title High Lord of Sleazy Dancing. It was so much fun, and one of her friends (who I think was trying to be a slut vicariously through her) kept trying to get us into a bed room.
Oh, and the clothes I was wearing. it was an 80's party so, well, ummm....
The words escape from planet denim come to mind.
I also found out something worrying about myself. We were playing Truth or Dare at the start of the party when there weren't many people there and I was asked who I fantasized about. And it's a tuffy, coz I don't really fantasize about anyone in particular. I have always been more of an ideals person, I fantasize about people who could never exist. Actually even those fantasies are more likely to involve a quarter-acre block, Donna-Reid-dresses, a white picket fence and 2.4 children (though being that I have a mad imagination the other .6 of the child is cybornetic) than anything sexual. Which is quite freaky. Actually this severly supports Wormgirl's claims that I am a freak. I probably should have answered the question with "Nice Graham", in a very loose sense it's true. I'm quite facinated by what it would be like to BE him, what it would be like to be that nice, that annoyingly lovable. it would be a fun place to visit, to be truely nice for a day or two, just to see what it felt like. Though I'm rambling. So I should go and start my Chem204 research since it's due in a few days and I haven't started yet. I am going to be in SO much trouble. All my internal assessment is catching up with me.
Okay so I am really bored and writing for a second time today. Historical CO2 levels are SO BORING. I watched Topless Women Talk About Their Lives and I am now watching Mr Holland's Opus. Any excuse not to study. I have even replied to a few people I owe email to. And written to a couple I don't. Though I still owe lots of email, none of it is to people I can think of anything to write to them about. I am SO BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But I can't think of anything more to write. So bye.
I just don't know what to do with myself
Don't know just what to do with myself
I'm so used to doing everything with you
Planning everything with two
And now that we're through
I just don't know what to do with my time
I'm so lonesome for you its a crime
Going to the movies only makes me sad
Parties make me feel as bad
When I'm not with you
I just don't know what to do
23 August 1999
I visited Worm girl yesterday, she said her flatmates had come into her room early on sunday hoping to catch me there. I must have danced sleazier than I thought.
And quite unlike me, I have been thinking about one person LOTS over the last couple of days. Just because I spent all friday night flirting at someone doesn't mean I should have them stuck on my mind for days afterward, even if they did lick me cheek. Darn hormones.
This morning I had a nice quiet start to the day. My one Chem lecture for the day was quite nice, and then I bought some lego at a 50% off sale. Then I had a fun theatre class.
On the downside, I still haven't done any of the internal assessment assignments that I really should be most of the way through.
Ummmm, well I can't think of much else to write, so I'm off to finish checking my emails before thinking about starting my essays. Or maybe just sleep. I'm beginning to suspect I might fail a paper or three this semester. Being that I'm getting ultra lazy in my old age. And ultra scoody too, hitting on seventh formers, I should be ashamed of myself.
And Solitaires the only games in town
Every row I take it brings me down
Amnd sitting here its easy to pretend
I'll never love again
25 August 1999
Yesterday I saw Jennifer for the first time in ages, actually I saw her twice in a period of a little over an hour. And I realised how much I miss her. And felt SO GUILTY for not keeping up with her. She is one of my bestest friends and I love her lots, but I haven't talked to her is SO long.
Ummm, what else happened yesterday? Oh, at poetry they talked about my poem for agaes but didn't actually mention anything I could do to make it better. Which while being utterly useless was quite flattering.
Today has been SO much fun. I spent this morning highlighting the bits of all the photocopies I had that looked important. And this evening I have spent almost four hours writing 551 words of an essay I need to finish tonight, and is supposed to be 1500 words long. I think mine might end up being a little sparse. Well I'd better get back to it. So this will have to wait to get posted on the net.
Would you give your son a stone if he asked for bread?
A snake if he asked for fish?
No!
26 August 1999
I got my essay done. its only 900-ish words on CO2, even though it was supposed to be 1500. But I handed it in this morning so will never have to think about it again. My classes today were all pretty dull, well the Chem ones were. ENGL217 was quite interesting, but then it tends to be. The mother on "That '70s show" is such a ditz.
Oh, remember the crush I was having last weekend, we bumped into each other at lunch. "WHAT WAS I THINKING". I wasted a couple of days liking the whiniest, most annoying person EVER. I can't believe I liked anyone that *word I can't say out loud*. Lust or not, I shouldn't be that tragic.
Anyway, I still have another essay and two big-arse chem lab reports to do. And I don't have the text I need for the essay, which is for theatre studies. Later.
Umm, i can't think of a song quote today, except "Boom, boom, boom, boom" by the venga boys, but using it would be just plain wrong. Even if it is stuck in my head. So instead I'll throw in a link to, lets see, ummm, Bex's Homepage. She's Nina's lil' sis' and the only .nz web page I can think of.
27 August 1999
I got my theatre essay done, 998 words plus a title and bibliography taking it into the low thousands. After finishing it at 8am this morning I then spent the rest of the day doning chem203 lab reports. FUN, FUN, FUN. I didn't finish them till after 4 this avo.
But now I'm off to town. Oh!!!!! And I have a new mother board and 64MB of RAM, YAY. But no soundcard :o(, and my C: is being formatted on monday so I have to back everything up.
Sparkle, sparkle, little twink
How I wonder what you think
Up above the world so high
Think you own that whole darn sky
Sparkle, sparkle, little twink
You're not so great, thats what I think.
28 August 1999
I had planned an early night last night. I even started home quite early from town (about 10ish). But then I stoppped at Amy(wormgirl)'s and ended up not getting to bed till 2am :o(. So this morning I had a quiet start to the day. i finished Johnny and the Bomb and took it back to the library, and I should have Johnny and the Dead finished tomorrow so i can finally get around to reading Terry Pratchett's Nome trilogy. I am planning such a bookish holidays.
I also got the third issue of the new series of spiderwoman, and this series is already getting bad.
Anyways, bye.
Sylvia's Mother says
Sylvia's busy
Too busy to come to the phone
Sylvia's Mother says
Sylvia's happy
So why can't you leave her alone
31 August 1999
I have an excuse for not writing, puter problems. I have had my mother board upgraded and the hard drive needed to be formatted to get things going again.
Which means reinstalling EVERYTHING. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
I have also had a bad couple of days, as yesterday was exactly one year since me and my ex met. And I woke up today and remembered straight away that if against all probability we had stayed together this long without killing each other, it would have been our anniversary. And that in three months and nineteen days I will have been single for a year :o(. So basically I had a bad day.
Anyway I have to reinstall loads of stuff. Joy for me.
[Reupload note: Too lazy to do as separate posts. Clumping as a month. Will decide later if I will keep doing it this way.]
