Matthew's Web of Lies: April 2022

Disclaimer

FICTION

It may at times strongly reflect actual events of my life, often how I honestly perceived them and display my genuine reactions. But not always and everything contained within should be treated as a fiction.

This is also a personal diary, so by reading it you are violating my privacy. And as it is a personal diary you are not allowed to hold anything you read in it against me, as you shouldn't have been reading it anyway.

Also, this diary is not to be read by anyone who has gone out with me, would like to go out with me in the future, or suspects I may like to go out with them.

Click Here for the old site, as backed up by Wayback Machine (I have gone with the 2007 version as it is the latest that is still before vodafone crunched a bunch of my files)

Saturday, 9 April 2022

I am about 80% certain I just double dosed.

I really need to get pill boxes/trays with the days and times on them.

My coping mechanism of the last decade is failing to cope any more.

My memory is too unreliable.

Tuesday, 5 April 2022

Medical rage

After my GP's office made me go in to their COVID annex on Friday and get tested, even though I don't have COVID symptoms, so I would be able to see my GP about my pneumonia scar playing up in a suspicious way I was rescheduled back to the COVID annex at a different time and a different doctor based on no change to the circumstances of my visit.

I said no.

This was maybe a mistake. All it achieved was being bounced between people on the phone and a lot of being talked down to as they had decided that I was a difficult patient who did not need listen ed to at all.

Has left me feeling pretty negative toward the medical centre I go to. I mean, even more than is usual.

Has also left me with the tiny voice of "dying of pneumonia would at least save you have having to be talked down at like that again". Because sensible reasons for goals.

Then had my first psychotherapy appointment in a couple of months.

Managed to mostly not just vent about the above, I saved it until near the end of the session.

Mostly we went through his anonymised write up on his year of me. I fact checked a few things. And let a few wrong facts slide as I decided they didn't matter (was mostly timings and orders of things), and it helps keep things anonymous on the unlikely chance someone assessing him tried to work out who it was.

Some of his assessments didn't sit entirely right with me, but I can't fact check people's opinions just the evidence they are basing them on.

He is far too keen on the notion that my chronic health problems could be massively reduced by a better mental attitude. I am not sure I agree, being what a massive difference epilepsy meds make.

Unhelpfully, today was also one of the days when I found him weirdly attractive - though that may just be an artefact of not being around people much recently.