Spring is here, and once more, I'll probably spend it being bitter about how other people aren't single - how dare the world have happy couples when it's spring and I'm alone.
Homer: You could close down Moe's,
Or the Kwik-E-Mart,
And nobody would care,
But the heart and soul
Of Springfield's in
Our Maison Derriere!
(music starts)
Belle: We're the sauce on your steak,
We're the cheese in your cake,
We put the spring in Springfield.
Dancing Girl 1: We're the lace on the nightgown,
Dancing Girl 2: The point after touchdown,
Belle and Dancing Girls: Yes we put the spring in Springfield.
1st September 2002 - Giles, Ab. Middle lessons of S. Priscus.
It's late, and I'm too tired to write, I just wanted to have an entry for today, the Buffy fan within me saw the word Giles in bold (most of the sarum entries are just in normal) and realised I had to write an entry for today so I could note it.
Today's quote is from "The Spring in Sprinfield" from The Simpson.
Once I was a sentimental thing; threw my heart away each spring. Now a spring romance hasn't got a chance. Promised my first dance to winter. All I've got to show's a splinter for my little fling. Spring this year has got me feeling like a horse that never left the post. I lie in my room staring up at the ceiling. Spring can really hang you up the most. Morning's kiss wakes trees and flowers, and to them I'd like to drink a toast. But I walk in the park just to kill the lonely hours. Spring can really hang you up the most. All afternoon the birds twitter-twitt. I know the tune. This is love, this is it. Heard it before and don't I know the score. And I've decided that spring is a bore. Love seems sure around the new year. Now it's April. Love is just a ghost. Spring arrived on time, only what became of you, dear? Spring can really hang you up the most. Spring can really hang you up the most.
2nd September 2002.
I wrote the above, went to bed, and slept for ten hours - which is like a personal record. I think my body was doing some catch up.
Well, Saturday I mostly spent sulking and playing the Sims. Then Midget and Rachel turned up and kidnapped me off and got me away from myself for a bit, which was very useful - even if they did only turn up so they could use my toilet. But atleast it saved me from going too crazy. After I got home in the evening, I had a long (well, 'chat' woiuld involve my having responded in more than one syllable answers, so I'll go with) exchange. Which was actually kind of nice, in a weird sort of way.
Sunday, I pretty much just stuffed around all day not starting my Beowulf essay. My head just wasn't up for it. IN the evening I went to my grandparent's for tea, being that it was father's day and all.
And now it's Monday, and I really should start my Beowulf essay.
Today's quote is from "Spring Can Really Hang You Up The Most".
Standin' on a corner in Winslow Arizona and I'm quite sure I'm in the wrong song 2 girls 65 got a piece tied up in the back seat "honey we're Recovering Christians" in the Springtime of his voodoo he was going to show me spring
3rd September 2002.
Well, yesterdays plans went up in smoke. Not for any real reason, just because I'm me. I went to Hare Krishna lunch, and by the time I got home I was randomly in a foul mood again, so I wasted the day away playing The Sims. Then in the evening I went to bed, and found myself thinking. So instead of the sleep I wanted, several hours were spent thinking - and not thinking in good ways either. Damn those thought-cycles that suck you in and hold you trapped for hours, going over and over stuff that doesn't really need going over at all. And sometimes you really do just need sleep. Sitting awake thinking about how much your life bites and how much you should just pull out of varsity - being that "withdrawn" just makes me a wimp, while "failed" will make me a loser. And I'm wallowing and should shut up. Or do the world a favour and kill myself.
Today I played Sims and translated some Beowulf, handed in my Chaucer essay (a weeks work leading to a piece of shite), went to class - which was kind of fun, and then to lunch with Michiel. Then I caught up with my Dad, whose just back from two weeks naval training in Auckland. Then I ran some errands (like paying my dent school bill) and came home to do work. Then Aaron visited until tea time, so there went getting work done.
I am such a retard, I should stop procrastinating - especially as it just happens, I'm not even conciously choosing to be a useless loser who'll never achieve anything, it's just happening - and do some work.
Today's quote is from "In The Spring Time of His Voodoo" by Tori Amos.
Is Jesus your pal? Do you call out his name, when your concience is shivering? Do you need someone too, just like those people who find peace in someone's promises? You sure don't need my promises...
4th September 2002 - Trans. of S. Cuthbert, Bp. and Conf. Nine lessons, unless read in Lent.
My darn neighbours were playing music really loud at 4:30am, I wasn't happy. But then it is the very first time they've done anything to annoy me, so I can't really complain. And then I dozed until about 8 (though two hours of that was dozing while psuedo-listening to my cousin's radio show and this whole big Save Our Stage thing). Well anyway, I spent all morning working on my honours project, and got pretty much nowhere. Actually, to be fair, I'd say amazingly no-where. Then while walking in to deliver the Douay I'd borrowed back to the Catholic library, I broke my new filling, not great. Anyway, I returned the book, and the librarian seemed pleasantly surprised that I'd got the book back on time. Then I stopped by dent school, twenty five minutes before class and they whacked a new top on my filling, which is appearantly all it needed, and I even made it to class on time. And after a couple of weeks absences the sole bit of eye candy I ever see in my classes was back, making the boring rant about Wallace Stevens slightly more tolerable. Then I spent some time with Midget before coming home to an evening of swearing at my honours topic and getting nowhere.
And my exam timetable sucks. All my exams are in the first few days, so I'll get like no time to study. In fact, I kind of need the lecturers to withhold exams like they are threatening to do if I am going to have even the slightest chance of passing anything this year.
I probably should just give up on it all. It's not like I'm ever going to contribute anything - and being that Becky seems to have decided she can do better than by my sperm, and that I'm terminally single, it seems pretty likely I'm not even going to contribute to the gene pool - so maybe I should just get myself out of the running once and for all.
Today's quote is from "Is Jesus Your Pal?" by Gus Gus.
Spam It's pink and it's oval Spam I buy it at the Mobil Spam It's made in Chernobyl Spam Now when I was a child My family was so poor They didn't have the finer things in life to eat So we had a plan In a big blue can The government substitute for meat
5th September 2002 - Bertin, Ab. and Conf. With Nocturn.
Today I got up at seven, after a nice sleep, I think the random mid-week linen change was a good move. It's always easiest to sleep on fresh linen. Anyway, I got up and did solid school work until it was time to go to class, with a spare 15 minutes to squeeze in a quick krishna lunch. Beowulf went okay, I was having a slightly less crap than usual day. Then I went to the library and trawled through the annotated bibliographies to see if I could find stuff in them I hadn't found in the online MLA database, and found a few things which the library had, so then tracked down and issued the books, and photocopied the articles. It took hours, all of which was standing. And $8 of photocopying in one hit. After that, I came home via the fish'n'chip shop, and the supermarket. And have now spent most all the evening reading about "The Commerce of Circumcision" - which is actually related to my honours topic, almost entirely what I am writing about at the moment too.
My honours project is now at a whopping 1,362 words. I am SO going to fail.
Today's quote is from "Spam" by Save Ferris.
The other night I tried to go to a show But the man at the door He told me no He said, "No one under 21 allowed" But he must have been stupid 'cause I saw my friends in the crowd He said, "You can't buy an alcoholic drink" "So we don't care what you really think" Why's this happened to me And the show was for free It sucks to be Under 21
7th September 2002.
I got up early yesterday morning and worked on my honours topic some more, then emailed it in before heading off to Chaucer. Chaucer was kind of gross. The Merchant's Tale, it's not one of the nicer Canterbury Tales, in fact, it's about the nastiest we've seen so far. Actually, Ian said it was about the worst we'll see. Anyway, after class I went and sat in the sun with Elizabeth and Ainsley, and talked school work, and a pile of other stuff. I chatted to one of Oli's friends for a while aswell. Go spring sun. And it also ment lots of attractive people wearing small amounts of clothing - which is actually a bad thing, it just reminds me of how single I am. Then after lunch I had my meeting with Ian, who was a lot less unhappy than he has been in the past - I wouldn't go so far as to say he was happy, but closer too it than he has been with me in a while. Then I headed home and blobbed out for the afternoon. In the evening I made plans with my ex to go clubbing, and got picked up after 11, and we headed out. Town was dead, so after giving up on where we were planning to go, we just wandered around looking at how dead all of town was. After a lap around town, and everywhere being pretty empty, we had a bit of a random drive before dropping me home. It was actually a really nice night out. Though I slightly spoilt it by being just a little whiney and taking something I shouldn't have very personally. I am such a nut.
Today, I've stuffed around all day. Mostly just watching crap TV and sitting on my arse. The furthest I've been all day is the stupermarket. I haven't even played much in the way of 'puter games, other than a round or two of Liero. And a whole lot of playing on http://www.sodaplay.com/, which is pretty fun.
Today's quote is from "Under 21" by Save Ferris.
Sexy, everything about you so sexy You don't even know what you've got You're really hitting my spot Yeah, yeah And you're so innocent Please don't take this wrong 'Cos it's a compliment I just wanna get wit' your flow You gotta learn to let go Oh baby won't you Work it a little Get hot just a little Meet me in the middle Let go Just a little bit more Give me Just a little bit more
8th September 2002 - Nativity of Blessed Mary, V.
Today I had planned to do my Beowulf essay, but well, didn't happen. I am the procrastination king. I haven't even done anything though. After failed attempts to go out last night, Oli not having been home when I rang, and me not being able to think of anyone else who was likely to put up with me, I just ended up watching the late night showing of Search for Spock. Go wasting my life. Star Trek movies are SO crap. But then, Star Trek is crap.
Anyway, today just followed in the same sort of pointless way. I randomly surfed the net - mostly looking at Sims stuff. And generally just achieved nothing, and didn't even have fun doing it.
Though I think I'm hallucinating a little, I keeping thinking I see things move just at the edge of my field of vision, and it's creepy.
Anyway, I might go watch some Nuku Nuku, being that it's later and I doubt I'll do work anyway.
Today's quote is from "Just A Little"; written by M Escoffrey / G Hammond Hagan / J Hammond Hagan.
I never thought I'd die alone I laughed the loudest who'd have known I traced the cord back to the wall No wonder it was never plugged in at all I took my time, I hurried up The choice was mine, I didn't think enough I'm too depressed to go on You'll be sorry when I'm gone
9th September 2002 - Gorgonius, Mart. Mem. only.
I watched the rest of the Nuku Nuku I have before getting up about 9ish, I then showered and spent the rest of the day failing to get much work done. Though Aaron did come and walk me to Hare Krishna lunch.
I hate honours, I really am thinking I should just drop out before I fail out.
Atleast I got a long chat with Wormgirl in.
Today's quote is from "Adam's Song" by Blink 182.
Don't wanna tango with you I'd rather tangle with him I think I'm gonna bash his head in And this shouldn't concern you except that Just don't expect to get your bloody black backpack back
11th September 2002 - SS. Prothus and Hyacinth, Martt. Mem. only.
Yesterday morning I spent being Beowulf related, then after class I headed home and did a little reading for my diss, before goign to Alana's for tea. It was nice and I think for the first time I actually got a decent talk to her boyfriend of the better part of a year. Then I came home and tried to work on the hons, without too much luck.
Today, I got up early and sat doing work until about 1:30 in the afternoon, and if anything, I think my diss got shorter. I am really going to have to work out if it's possible for me to just drop back to being a plain BA. I am too stupid to do this. Anyway, then I headed in to varsity, grabbed lunch, creeped out 'That Second Year' in the library, and went to class. It sucked. I hate Wallace Stevens. Even though it's the only class I have with any eye candy, I'm not sure it's worth it. Anywya, I caught up with Midget, made tea and am now about to probably get into my hons project, or kill myself. Though it's Buffy night, which should cheer me up.
Damn, my flatmate's partner is back from overseas, so it means that three nights a week I'm alone in my flat again. And I find this place so creepy when there is just me here.
I am such a head case.
Today's quote is from "Little Black Backpack" by Stroke 9.
If all you've got to prove today is your innocence, Calm down, you're as guilty as can be, If all you've got to lose alludes to yesterday, Yesterday's through, now do anything you please. You could be taking it easy on yourself You should be making it easy on yourself Cause you and I know, It's all over the front page, you give me road rage, Racing through the best days, It's up to you boy you're driving me crazy, Thinking you may be losing your mind. You're losing your mind. You, you've been racing through the best days You, you've been racing through the best days. Space age, road rage, fast lane
14th September 2002 - Exaltation of Holy Cross. Middle Lessons of SS. Cornelius and Cyprian. Autumnal Equinox. Dog Days end.
Thursday I got up early and worked on my hons till lunch, then I took a study break translating Beowulf (I'm using homework as study breaks - not a sign that hugs and puppies are on the way). After Beowulf, I headed home and did homework until almost midnight when I emailed in what I had done, and went to sleep.
Yesterday, I got up and read The Squire's Tale, which I was really getting into, before it went and ended on me. It was just the littlest bit annoying in the way it's interrupted and over. Anyway, I headed into class and had a good lecture, then after English Dept morning tea, I went to lunch with Midget and Bruno. Then I headed in to get the last bit of the birthday present for my brother. But I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up my pills. After over 15 minutes waiting the pharmacist came out and told me they couldn't supply one of my drugs till Wednesday next week, appearantly there is a national shortage, so I given a big speech about avoiding anything that would increase my heart rate or blood pressure - to minimise any coming-off effects. By the time I had finished there my shopping time had been entirely eaten away. So I went to see Ian, who was behind in his marking so sent me away for another hour and a half, which was all good, as it gave me a chance to go and find something for my brother. I ended up getting him Warhammer minitures - though my complete lack of understanding lead to my getting the wrong race, but he still seemed pretty happy with them, even if they didn't compare to the other bits I'd got. Then I went and saw Ian properly, and we got a lot of stuff worked through, I just really wish I'd taken better notes, as I forgot most of the useful stuff before I was even out of there. He also gave me the "if you had been here in June when you should have been we could have done this properly" speech. So I'm not on the biggest warm fuzzy about things. Anyway, I then went and met up with my father and little brother. We got sandwhiches and cake at the Museum Cafe for my brother's birthday. Then we headed to mum's, stopping past my flat so I could pick up and assemble all the present. He was pretty happy when he got it, so I can't have done too badly. So after tea and dessert with family; then hot drinks and cake with the neighbours. And my cousin Jenny dropped me home. And then after a while chatting online, I went to bed, in my empty creepy flat, and slept. Problem was I mentioned the medication thing to my ex, who made a crack about how it means no shagging; so in predictably crazy me way - I've had sex and my ex on my mind ever since. Which is really not healthy. I SO have to get over my ex. Obsessing over someone who doesn't want me - not useful.
Today, I wasted the most of the morning watching cartoons and generally fluffing around. Then I made Aaron go to the Military Parade with me, as my father was in it, so I kind of thought I had to. I'm was kind of lame, and my father looked a complete tool in his goofy uniform. After that we visited Alana at work, and took her for lunch, then after a failed attempt to visit Oliver (as he wasn't home), I walked Aaron home, grabbed some groceries, and wasted the rest of the day alone. Okay, I did some proofing work on my diss, and checked up a few things for it, but didn't really write anything much new. And as I was too lazy to cook, I walked all the way to the Gardens to buy takeaways. Go Logic.
Anway, I best got sleep. I need to work tomorrow.
Today's quote is from "Road Rage" by Catatonia.
Time, time, time See what's become of me. Time, time, time See what's become of me While I looked around For my possibilities I was so hard to please. Look around Leaves are brown And the sky Is a hazy shade of winter. Hear the Salvation Army Band Down by the riverside It's bound to be a better ride Than what you've got planned Carry your cup in your hand. Look around Leaves are brown And the sky Is a hazy shade of winter.
15th September 2002 - Oct. of Blessed Mary.
My plans to work today didn't work out quite as well as I would have liked. I some how procrastinated most of the day away, and spent the rest stressing out. Though I got a little done, though mostly just highlighting.
I really should just stop whining and pull out already. I'm too thick to be doing honours. And I know nothing. I should have gone and talked to a priest today, so atleast I knew the liturgical shape of the old mass, as it's what I am supposed to have spent all day writing about, and I have no idea at all.
Today's quote is from "Hazy Shade Of Winter" by The Bangles.
If she knew what she wants (He'd be giving it to her) If she knew what she needs (He could give her that too) If she knew what she wants (But he can't see through her) If she knew what she wants He'd be giving it to her Giving it to her.
16th September 2002 - Edith, V., not Mart. Middle lessons of Euphemia, Lucia, Geminianus, Martt.
I got an interesting email this morning.
Dear Matthew,
Your Ihug webspace contains copyrighted information from http://www.creequealley.com/. The owner has asked for the immediate removal of the material. Please refer to http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~squash/diary/october99.htm.
Kind Regards,
-- Ihug Abuse Department.
Someone actually cared that I quoted from them on my webpage. Who'd have thunk it.
So quote removed and now I can just write mean things about how information is free and people who try to control it are minions. Especially when said minions website claims to have not been updated since December 11th last year. Stupid minions.
My diss is now at 2,926 words, well below the 5,000 I was supposed to have reached over the weekend, and technically should have reached in June or July. Being that I was supposed to have had a 6,000 word draft in in July.
And I overspent my budget by about $100 over the last month; and I'm pretty sure - based on how much weight I've put on - that it was mostly spent on junk food.
And I still haven't heard from Tina in ages.
Being that this is all just complainy - and only going to get more complainy - I might just go now.
It's not late at night. I am tired and grumpy, but because of how easily distracted I am (I picked up an application for pharmacy today), I am only upto 3,501 words, and 197 of those are in footnotes.
I can also feel my heart beat, and it feels like it's wrong. but I'm pretty sure I can only feel it as I'm paranoid and thinking about it all the time. Darn my drugs not being here. It's making me even more paranoid, which is like the last thing I need.
I had promised myself I was going to get to 4,000 words today, but I'm so tired, and I don't think anything I'm writing is any good. So I'll see what I can do in the next half hour, and then I'm heading off to bed. As work done after midnight isn't likely to be crash hot.
Today's quote is from "If She Knew What She Wants" by The Bangles.
Toe to toe dancing very close Body breathing almost comatose Wall to wall people hypnotized And they're stepping lightly Hang each night in rapture Back to back sacroiliac Spineless movement and a wild attack Face to face sightless solitude And it's finger popping Twenty four hour shopping in rapture
17th September 2002
- Lambert, Bp. and Mart. Keep the fast of the ninth month [Ember] always on the Wednesday after the exultation of the Cross.
I got upto 4,049 words this morning. Though I was getting freaky, my heart was beating too hard, and I could feel every beat in my throat. It was not a nice feeling at all. I kept thinking I was going to be sick. I'm guessing it was just anxiety about no having my meds, but by the same point, it was about the symptoms that coming off may have.
At Beowulf I did a crap job of translating, but then I usually do. Then my weekly lunch, followed by my going into town and picking up my drugs. I know I'm supposed to take them at night, but after so long without, and how gross I was feeling, I took my dose as soon as I got a drink back at varsity; while I sat and had a long chat with Elizabeth. Then I went to find Ian, and for the second day in a row couldn't. Darn it, as I'm kinda stuck as I'm kinda stupid.
Anyway, I don't really have much else to say.
Today's quote is from "Rapture" by Blondie.
Colour me your colour, baby Colour me your car Colour me your colour, darling I know who you are Come up off your colour chart I know where you're coming from Call me on the line Call me call me any anytime Call me my love you can call me any day or night Call me
18th September 2002 - Buffy Night. (Yes, Wednesday is my personal holy day - and not one from the Sarum Missal - Buffy is my church).
It's 10:06 in the morning, and I'm still at only 4,597 words.
It's now 11:19pm, and I'm at a crappy 4,793 words. Today has not been productive. Darn it all. Though yesterday I was at twice the length I had been a week before - unfortunately, the same can not be said of today
After writing this morning I head off for lunch with Nina, but I forgot to check the email and went to the wrong place, and waited there for ages thinking she had stood me up. I am such a retard. Anyway, then after lunch with Gnatacia and her lot, I went and had the blood test so I can apply for pharmacy. Not that I think that's really what I want to do - but it's about the best plan that I have. Well, unless I get into Creative Writing at Vic, but I don't really like my chances. Not being all the talented and all.
But then I'm not smart enough to be in honours, and that didn't stop me.
Well, I'm now at 4,880 words. And I have no idea what I'm doing.
And I'm being randomly annoyed that I haven't been to a movie since Scoobie Doo in July, and all my friends seem to go to them all the time, but no-one ever invites me. Though that probably comes down to the fact that they have better friends who are actually pleasant company to be around, and not psycho freaks like me.
it's now almost midnight, I should sleep.
Today's quote is from "Call Me" by Blondie.
We don't get tired of sausage We love sausage
19th September 2002
.
Well, it's now almost 11am, so I have to stop working on my diss ans start studying for my Beowulf test. I'm stil only at 5,209 words. Darn it. And that includes over a hundred words in a quote from Thomas Aquinas's Summa Theologiae, which Iam will probably just cross out as irrelavent. Actually, I've been making no sense in it all week. Bugger it.
Anyway, I must do Beowulf study, so I don't fail the test. And I have to take back my interloaned Douay, as the interloan as been recalled, I got the email yesterday.
Dear Matthew,
Your interloan book "The Holy Bible" (#1003314) has been recalled as it is needed back in Auckland. Could you please return it to us as soon as possible, and we will post it back to them?
Many thanks and apologies,
Sue
Central Library Interloans
Anyway, it's now 11:15 at night. I completely blew my Beowulf test, so I've been unproductive ever since. Actually, I might go, before I depress myself.
Today's quote is from Rocko's Modern Life.
If you were the ocean and I was a sailboat Would I find the gumption to let myself sail For lovin' and leavin', you're gone for a season Is not what I'm looking for If you were the laughter I'd hear ever after The sound of your voice would make me sing For lovin' and leavin', you're gone for a season Is not what I'm looking for I never thought that you would come I never thought that I could love like this This feeling inside me is growing I never thought that you would come
21st September 2002
- Matthew, Ap. and Evan. Mem. of S Laudus.
Not actually writing anything, just pointing out it's St Matthew's Day.
Today's quote is from "I Never Thought That You Would Come" by Loni Rose.
quote pending - please send suggestions
22nd September 2002 - Maurice and Compp. Martt.
Friday was pretty good. I read the Franklin's tale in the morning, then showered and headed to class. It was a pretty cool lecture, though mildly frustrating in that there was so much to say but we only had two hours so barely covered anything of it. Then I spent some time with Midget, before she headed off and I blobbed out with Gnatacia's friends in the Union-Link thing until it was time to go see Ian. He seemed reasonably pleased with the amount I'd done, though did cross out quite a bit of it, which was entirely expected, as I was mostly writing shite. Then after coming home failing to do any work all afternoon, I went to Karen's 22nd, which was pretty tolerable. Mostly. And I got to text Tina form a friend's phone.
Yesterday, I sat by the phone till 12:49, when Wormgirl rang from the states. It was great to catch up with her, I've missed her SO much. Then after possibly exactly an hour of chat - we talked until her pre-paid phonecard ran out and cut us off - I msg'd Tina that I was home. So then I spent a whole while catching up with her, who I haven't talked to in a while either. Then I headed over and visited my family, my little brother had an accident and is in a leg brace, and has stitches and is generally unwell. It turns out mum's ex took all the special non-allergy first aid stuff that my brother needs to use when he left, even though he has no actual use for it. Some people just shouldn't be allowed to live among normal people.
Then I picked up a cheese cake from the supermarket, showered and headed off to a lesbian pot-luck dinner. It was kind of fun, though the one other guy there was more than a little annoyed at the fact I was there. I guess my being there killed the novelty of him having a room of girls to himself. Either that or he is just a 'tard. Anyway, the dinner was pretty good, then we headed off to a drag contest - not something I'll even pretend to be in favour of. I spent a significant portion of the night wishing I had flame-thrower hands so I could purge certain types of people from the world. And the rest paying far too much attention to my ex, whom I had rang up and dragged along.
When I got dropped home I had to put linen on my bed, as I'd taken it off and got it washed and dried and back in during the day, I just had ran out of time before I went out. So in the little hours of this mornign I made my bed. Having realised just how much I smelt like pub, I had a quick shower, and nice and clean I slipped into a nice clean bed for a nice sleep. Nice.
I got up slowly this morning, it was about ten before I was actually up. Then I went to do work, but ended up watching But I'm a Cheerleader. I am such a slacker. Anyway, after that, and some general fluffing around, I headed off to the art gallery, with the help of a ride from my neighbour, to attend a lecture on images of the Virgin Mary. On the way there I dropped past the library, and the english department's token bit of eye candy was there, and friendly. Which was kind of cool. Anyway, I went to the lecture, and it was kind of interesting. Though I'm not sure I learned anything that useful. Then I came home via the stupermarket and went to do work, but instead watched Where the Heart Is.
Well, now I've had tea - my flattie made a huge pot of soup, getting me out of having to cook for myself - I should probably think about trying to do work again. Or maybe I'll just watch Fight Club, people have told me it's good....
Today's quote is from "" by .
quote pending - please send suggestions
23rd September 2002 - Thecla, V., not Mart. With Nocturn.
Well, it's a bit after 11 in the morning. And a Monday. My diss is due Friday next week, though I also have my Beowulf essay I'm yet to start due wednesday next week, and my diss is only at 5,117 words - it's shorter than it was last week - hopefully that means it is better, but I wouldn't actually say it is. I am so too dumb to be doing an honours dissertation. I'm a 'tard. I should just be working at the tannery, or the pillow factory.
Damn, it's now 10:15pm, and I'm at 5,316 words. I've been here most of the day. Except for the quick dart in for Hare Krishna lunch, and to deliver my application for Pharmacy. And a short phone break when Midget rang to tell me off for constantly whining about my ex. So pretty much today has been staring at my essay and getting nowhere. Go me. And I sneezed and now one of my ribs hurts, I'm not happy. Stupid life.
I hate my life - mainly as I'm in it.
Though I did finally use my credit card today, for the first, and possibly the last time.
Today's quote is from "" by .
quote pending - please send suggestions
25th September 2002
- Firminus, Bp. and Mart.
Yesterday was split between Beowulf homework; disserattion work; and screaming at my dissertation work in frustration. I went to Beowulf, and didn't get my test back - which is probably a good thing, as I know I failed. Then after lunch with Michiel, I came home and spent the whole afternoon trying to get honours work done. Without much luck. Then I had tea at Alana's before coming home and again trying to do work, but in frustration watching Dinotopia instead. Which was kind of crap. They could have atleast tried to be honest to the book, or believable story-telling.
Okay, I was extra grumpy as I had a head-cold yesterday.
This morning I spent on homework, before going online just long enough to be told something I spent the day depressing myself over. I headed off for lunch with Nina, which was really nice, and a good catch up. Though I spent far too much on the meal, $7.80 for a shaped stainless steel tray of possibly korean food. It was pretty good, and Nina makes for good company. Then we headed back through varsity to deliver a drink to her boy, chatting about my tendancy to make people irrationally jealous, when I was cornered by the President of the student association, so now I'm being interviewed about something tomorrow. Joy for me. After that I went and saw Ian. He isn't very happy with me. He made more of those "if you had got this much done in June, like you should have" comments, and told me I really have to work if I want to get something adequate done. With the implication being that it's now too late for me to manage anything better than adequate. So I'm not hugely happy. Ian was really nice about this all though, and stuff, so I'm not complaining about him, just my lack of ability. Anyway, then I fluffed around until Romanticism, and got a ride home from Midget.
I'm still at only 5,869 words - and that is counting footnotes and bibliography. I think I'm going to cry. Which is stupid, crying over homework would just plain be stupid.
Maybe I really should just kill myself and end this continual complaining, and free up some net sapce and all. - Okay, that whole killing myself thing was just me being melodramatic. But then I'm a melodramtic git, I entirely don't get why my friend's put up with me.
I'm just getting a bit overwhelmed by it all. Stupid Honours. I really shouldn't be doing it.
And I think Nina is right, I think I need to get away from this city if I'm going to work through my nuttiness.
It's Buffy time and I still only have 5,932 words, and I'm too busy worrying about stuff I have no business worrying about. Stupid ex's ex being in town. Stupid me for caring/worrying. Stupid stupidness.
And I'm almost out of hankerchiefs from the runny nose and coughing thing I've had going on all day.
10:30 and I'm at 6,069 words. I hate my life. I'm supposed to be at 8,000 tomorrow. And it So doesn't seem to be happening the way it should. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Today's quote is from "" by .
quote pending - please send suggestions
26th September 2002
- Cyprian, Bp., and Justina, V.
I am a 'tard.
Well that was at 8 something this morning. It's now 4:40ish in the afternoon. Before going to class I got to 6,527 words. Which isn't great, but it's a start. I did some translation, had Krishna lunch, did some more translation and went to Beowulf. I have a cold, so my voice is all funny, which actually made Beowulf tolerable. Then I had a chat with someone at OUSA as part of a review of services thing. After stopping by and visiting Kezia - who I can never decide if she actually likes me or just puts up with me for Becky's sake - I went to the stupermarket where I bumped into Alana and scored a couple of free bits, but then forgot to buy bread. And now I'm home.
I was being such a git last night, I have to remind myself occasionally that most people aren't crazy like me. And my ex is mostly entirely sane - except for the having gone out with me part - and thus probably isn;t all screwed up about an old ex coming back to town as I think I would have been in the same situation. But then I'm a head case. So... yes... well... umm...
And I got 35% in my Beowulf test last week. Which is a little annoying being that I had actually studied, though I made out to the lecturer and my classmate that I hadn't.
Anyway, I should go do work.
Well it's now after 11. I'm at 6,945 words (including 250ish of bib and about 400ish of footnotes) and it's emailed off to Ian. I had been hoping to hit the 8,000 word mark by today, but, well, it didn't quite happen.
I'm not sure I have anything more to write, so I might go.
Today's quote is from "" by .
FROM: DR.LAMBERT BASHIRU fax 009-1-775-458-9154 Email: nelsong02@yahoo.com DEAR SIR, WE ARE SENDING THIS LETTER TO YOU BASED ON INFORMATION GATHERED FROM THE FOREIGN TRADE OFFICE OF THE NIGERIAN CHAMBER OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY. WE BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD BE IN A POSITION TO HELP US IN OUR BID TO TRANSFER THE SUM OF FORTY-ONE MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS ($41.5M USD) INTO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT. WE ARE MEMBERS OF THE SPECIAL COMMITTEE FOR BUDGET AND PLANNING OF THE MINISTRY OF PETROLEUM, THIS COMMITTEE IS PRINCIPALLY CONCERNED WITH CONTRACT APPRAISALS AND APPROVAL OF CONTRACTS IN ORDER OF PRIORITIES AS REGARDS CAPITAL PROJECT OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA. WITH OUR POSITIONS, WE HAVE SUCCESSFULLY SECURED FOR OURSELVES THE SUM OF FORTY-ONE MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS(US$41.5M). THIS AMOUNT WAS ACCUMULATED THROUGH UNDECLARED WINDFALL FROM SALES OF CRUDE OIL DURING THE GULF WAR. WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU IS TO PROVIDE A SAFE ACCOUNT INTO WHICH THE FUNDS WILL BE TRANSFERRED SINCE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS ARE NOT ALLOWED BY OUR LAWS TO OPERATE FOREIGN ACCOUNT. IT HAS BEEN AGREED THAT THE OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT WILL BE COMPENSATED WITH US$8.3 MILLION OF THE REMITTED FUNDS, WE KEEP US$31.125 MILLION WHILE US$2.075 MILLION WILL BE SET ASIDE TO OFFSET EXPENSES AND PAY THE NECESSARY TAXES. IT MAY INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT TWO YEARS AGO A SIMILAR TRANSACTION WAS CARRIED OUT WITH ONE MR. PATRICE MILLER, THE PRESIDENT OF CRAINE INTERNATIONAL TRADING CORPORATION AT NUMBER 135, EAST 57TH STREET, 28TH FLOOR, NEW YORK. 10022 WITH TELEPHONE (212) 308-7788 AND TELEX NUMBER 6731689, AFTER THE AGREEMENT BETWEEN BOTH PARTNERS IN WHICH HE WAS TO TAKE 5%. THE MONEY WAS DULY TRANSFERRED INTO HIS ACCOUNT ONLY TO BE DISAPPOINTED ON OUR ARRIVAL IN NEW YORK AS WE WERE RELIABLY INFORMED THAT MR. PATRICE MILLER WAS NO LONGER ON THAT ADDRESS WHILE HIS TELEPHONE AND TELEX NUMBERS HAVE BEEN REALLOCATED TO SOMEBODY ELSE, THAT IS HOW WE LOST US$27.5M TO MR PATRICE MILLER. THIS TIME AROUND WE NEED A MORE RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON OR A REPUTABLE COMPANY TO DO BUSINESS WITH HENCE THIS LETTER TO YOU, SO IF YOU CAN PROVE YOURSELF TO BE TRUSTED AND INTERESTED IN THIS DEAL THEN WE ARE PREPARED TO DO BUSINESS WITH YOU. WHAT WE WANT FROM YOU IS THE ASSURANCE THAT YOU WILL LET US HAVE OUR SHARE WHEN THIS AMOUNT OF US$41.5M IS TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. IF THIS PROPOSAL SATISFIES YOU, PLEASE FAX US ON OUR FAX NUMBER : 1-775-261-5561 SO THAT WE CAN ADVICE YOU ON THE MODALITIES OF THE TRANSACTION. ALL MODALITIES OF THE TRANSFER HAVE BEEN WORKED OUT AND ONCE STARTED WILL NOT TAKE MORE THAN 14 WORKING DAYS WITH THE ABSOLUTE SUPPORT OF ALL CONCERNED. THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% SAFE. PLEASE TREAT AS URGENT AND VERY CONFIDENTIAL. GOD BE WITH YOU AS I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR REPLY. PLEASE REPLY STRICTLY BY FAX (THROUGH THE FAX NUMBER: 009-1-775-458-9154 OR VIA MY EAMIL: nelsong02@yahoo.com YOURS FAITHFULLY, LAMBERT BASHIRU
29th September 2002
- Michael, Archangel.
Happy Michaelmas. (See, I'm doing my hons so I know these things... actually, I have a paragraph on Michaelmas in my diss.)
Friday I had Chaucer in the morning, it was fun. Then I spent some time with Midget, did some shopping for Elizabeth's birthday, and generally wasted some time. Then I had my meeting with Ian, at three instead of my usual 1:30 to give him time to do a thorough reading. He was actually happy. Not just more happy, but he is finally actually pleased with what I managed to pull together. He thinks most of what I've done can be kept as is, though I still have a fair bit to write. Then I wasted Friday night being lazy.
Unfortunately most of Saturday, which was in theory fully booked with homework, vanished away down "The Sims"-trap. Then I actually got going just enough to decide I was completely changing topics on my Beowulf essay. Then I headed off for a night of fun at Elizabeth's, though on the way out I blew a fuse, so now my flat has no lights. Elizabeth's party was fun, though she has dodgy friends. And I got very wet, walking home in the rain to my dark flat.
Anyway, I should properly get up and shower and start doing some work for Beowulf. Before I fail varsity and burn in bad student hell.
I just finished tea - a chargrilled chicken breast and Watties sweet and sour veges - and I've wasted another day - I've got bugger all done. Damn it. Though I did just get a humorous scam spam email, which can be my daily quote.
It's now late, and I'm tired, and I still haven't actually written anything on my Beowulf essay. And it's not like I've been being playing games or anything, I've been doing related readings mostly all day. I am SO not a happy camper. I'd even go so far as to say 'I hate my life'.
I might go sleep and try and get this whole essay I have nothing to actually say about written tomorrow morning, as it's kind of due, and I can't really spare the time to work on it, with my dissertation possibly due this Friday. I really wish I was better at actually getting stuff done.
quote pending - please send suggestions
30th September 2002
- Jerome, Presb. and Doct.
I spent pretty much all day working on my Beowulf essay today, and I still have a fair bit of work to go, darn it.
In better news, it seems I have an extension on my dissertation - which is all good. Though I may have to try and come up with a medical certificate - which may possibly require a visit to the doctor's, and thus spending good money I don't have.
Anyway, I should probably get back to trying to finish my Beowulf essay.
And I'm bleeding everywhere. It's late at night, I have lots still to do that I wanted finished by yesterday and I got over zealous cutting my nail and am now bleeding all over the place.
Atleast I'm not one of those weirdoes who cuts their wrists.
Today's quote is from "" by .
