Sleepiness is weakness of character, ask anyone

Weirdly, someone in France read 83 entries of this boring waffle yesterday.  I am pretty sure I don't know anyone in France.  At least it makes the stats more interesting than just the flood of Russian hits on the same few old entries over and over again.

Wednesday I was a bit sleepy but didn't have any obvious metformin dose change side effects.  Though at about 11am I lost my fibre internet connection.  I had to make an actual phone call to my ISP.  It turned out the builders working next door had dug through the cable.  In the evening I got ReBurger with the D&D group.  I don't think ReBurger is worth the price.  Then had a nice D&D game, ending with my Warlock hitting 4th level.  I am not a huge fan of 5th ed, but the group s enjoyable company and the only reliable human interact I have.

Thursday I was sitting home waiting for the Chorus technicians to come fix my fibre.  It took multiple technicians several hours.  One of my neighbours lost her shit about how long it was taking.  By the time they were done it was raining so I had a PJ day or doing nothing but using my newly restored internet for much Netflix.  And was pretty sleepy.

Friday I did the errands that I had intended for Wednesday.  I picked up the meds that the pharmacy had been short on on Tuesday.  I got some blood and urine tests done and I got home just in time to beat the onset of the changing dosage side effects.

I have been told off for the TMI of describing what is up.    Lets just say it is more than increased sleepiness.   And that using "black coffee" to explain made Alana think I was oversharing.  Alana!?!  Grand queen of oversharing.  She thought I had gone too far.

Saturday I was PJing it up for the day but had unexpected afternoon visit of family.  Ev and a cousin I had not seen since she was 2 (who is now an adult) turned up, and then my mother came to catch up with said cousin.  So many people when i was so sleepy.  But it was nice enough and I hopefully didn't creep out my cousin too much.

Today has been a day of sleepiness and Netflix in my jimjams (and eating too many of the biscuits my mother left behind on what I think was only her second time spending any time in my flat in the over 12 years I have lived here).  Showering in an attempt to wake up just tempted fate with falling asleep in the shower.

Oh, and I watched all of Netflix's (Un)Well - and I regret it.  It was brainmelting.  Documentaries should not be that dumb.  So much using bad faith 'science' to make the actual science based scepticism seem unfair.

Body of Weirdness and flavours of stupidity

 At about 2300 on Saturday I was overcome by hatred of my mop, so I gave myself a late night and poorly executed haircut.  I then finished watching the new episodes of Lucifer off Netflix before going to bed.

Sunday and Monday were both PJ days.  Only moment of doing anything remotely exciting was Sunday's decision to order in.  Otherwise just reading and YouTube.

Yesterday I actually left the house.  For the first time in a bit.  I had lunch with Oli.  Then I had a GP appointment, at which I decided to increase my metformin as my morning blood sugars had been high for weeks (so of course they are about halfway back to where they are supposed to be this morning, immediately before I start the change of dose (because my body does my body type things...)) and I don't want to go blind or destroy my kidneys.  Also talked through a bunch of concerns, all of which my GP thinks the hospital appointment I have should get a go with first.  I quite like my GP as a person, still deciding how I feel about him as a doctor.

After all that I went to Black Dog (somewhere I don't think I have been since Fiona's engagement party many years ago but where my first and a couple of early dates with Shitlord had been (I should have read more into when he stopped taking me there, as from things I heard from the other guy since it is where he took the current favourite (I am stacking parentheses too much today))) for my writing group.  Same Writing group that used to be at Starbucks on Mondays but now with a different day and a less shit cafe.

Carla dropped me home because of the rain (while lunching with Oli there had been snow falling) so I didn't get any additional junkfood beyond all the sugar I consumed at the cafe (which was more than enough that my blood sugar should have been raised today not surprisingly lowered - my body is weird).  So I cooked like a sensible grown up.  Even doing two courses.  Vege and a few dumplings in a chicken stock broth, followed by a chunk of air-fryed 'Nashville'-style chicken and some potato.  It was food.

Now off to start my new metformin, and poop myself to death.....

The wrong side

 I was reading last night and it was getting late.  I spotted the time a bit after 0200 and decided I would read one more chapter.

I read more than one more chapter.  As suddenly I could hear dawn chorus and had yet to put down my kindle and go sleep.  And it is not even like Lynn Flewelling is amazing, I have been getting pretty angry at inconsistencies in the story.  She needs a continuity editor.  But I am five books into Nightrunners now so I guess I am stuck sticking out the series - even though it has problems.

The Turkmenistan bots seem to be using Russian IP addresses now as my hits on this are now almost exclusively Russian (though with a smattering of random French, Egyptian and US hits to colour the results a little).  Maybe they had been Russian bots all along, but former posing as being in Turkmenistan.  And no-one cares about this paragraph - maybe not even me.

Otherwise since I last wrote spent the evening of Wednesday at Carla and Ian's doing the D&D nerd thing.

On Thursday night I had dinner out with Firmin, Simon and Joe.  We ended up going to Shitlord's work, so I got to use up the voucher I had.  I also got to look up from my food and see Shitlord giving me a death stare from across the restaurant.  It was like I was suddenly the bad guy.  So I then spent the evening being frustratingly rattled by the whole thing.  While we went back to Simon and Joe's and built some Mario LEGO and watched a semi-bad movie while I pretend to have not seen it before so as to not spoil it for Simon.  But I was too caught up in my own dumb Shitlord-related-thoughts to be dropping spoilers.

Otherwise I have just been in my house, reading and watching too much Netflix (all of Glitch Techs and now the new Lucifer). 

After a week of return Level 2

 On Saturday I left the house three times.  Being more of an outgoing human under partial lockdown than I was over all of things being more freed up.

I went to the Farmer's Market.

I went out to Pakkers to buy a lotto ticket than failed to win any of the $50,000,000 prize.

I went for dinner (at Jizo) and a movie (This Town) with Susan.

Was very nice to hang out with Susan, and the movie was pretty good.  If much more Bain-based than I was expecting.

On Monday night I got dinner out with my dad.

Otherwise I have just been being antisocial in my house watching TV and playing some Skyrim.

This morning I was stressing for no real reason about having a meeting in my flat with the builders and a representative of the landlords.
Upside, landlord's were represented by the hottest Tenancy Liaison Officer.  But thanks to COVID they just handed me a letter and stood at a distance.  Even calling it a meeting was a farce.  It was under a minute of talking through the doorway.

COVID tales....

 I fell asleep not long after dinner last night (I got Japanese curry delivered, all that rice was bad for my blood sugar level).  When woken by my alarm to take evening meds I discovered the COVID alert level had been raised again.  Minor lockdown is back in action.

I basically never leave the house, so I guess it doesn't affect me a lot.

Then this morning I got a text that my flat inspection was cancelled because of the alert level thing.  So I gave up on any lie I was telling myself that I was going to start doing some cleaning and have gone on to do NOTHING with my day.

Not at roleplaying as that also got canned.

This COVID thing..... it is a mixed bag.

Continued filth

Just washed for the first time since the last entries shower.  Which is weird timing for why I keep writing this thing.  Once again it failed to leave me feeling better and just left me regretting it all.

My body has been hardcore reminding me how much of a sick person I am.  My dinner is threatening to come back up every time I move - I guess a day of wallowing and slowly grazing through all the sugar treats left in the house.  The house I left briefly with my dad to get dinner on Sunday evening but otherwise haven't left since... Thursday.

Though my family has visited twice.

My dad is mostly fine, but my sibling is always so much work and always tries to turn everything into a fight.

I need more spoons.  Have a flat inspection tomorrow, intended to be the final one before we are moved out of the building, and I have done nothing.

Inspectors will get to see how much of a tip my flat has become during recent poor health.

Filth, what I live in

 I realised this evening that I was still wearing the clothes from Wednesday.  I had been living in personal filth.
I showered at the swimming pool on Thursday, but that just meant that tonight, Saturday evening, I still smelled of the chlorine.

I had a bit of leaving the house this week.  I went out for dinner with my father and sibling on Tuesday.  We went to Shitlord's work and it was mostly not hugely uncomfortable.  I have no idea if he was working that evening or not - which is for the best as I can assume he wasn't.  By not seeing him I can probably even happily assume he is dead.  The drunken text chat may have left me too reminded of how much of a selfish dick he is.  Had he made any effort to be friends after things blew up then I am pretty certain we'd be play acting friendship.  But fortunately for me he has continued to put zero effort into me, which made my decision at the start of the year to give up on him completely.  And talking about my drunken stupidity with friends has made me realise that drunkenly acknowledging the birthday of someone whose birthday you will probably always remember is not a back slide, it is just being drunk and having a brain.

Wednesday I had my regular D&D game, preceded by Carla having made dinner for everyone.

Thursday I went to the pool with Midget and did some aquajogging.  Then we had Indian for lunch and I got a cone of cookie dough afterwards, possibly incorrectly assuming it would be a healthier choice than ice cream.  Safer from the perspective of my dairy intolerance anyway.

I got home and everything started to ache.  Come Friday I could barely stand and my chest was giving me pain again.  I also had a pre-breakfast blood sugar reading of twice what it was a couple of weeks ago.  Either I am sick or somehow exercise betrayed me.

Based on the sputum and chest pain, I suspect I am sick.

Also the phantosmia and taste perversion of the last couple of days suggests there is sickness of some sort going on.

I don't know if it was the taste perversion at work or overcook but my slow cooker soup tasted freaking amazing last night (more than the efforts justified) but today was pretty unpleasant.   Either of those might have been my senses lying to me.  Or maybe it was just great soup and I shouldn't have left the slow cooker on low but actually turned it off (but then I would have to reheat, and effort is effort).

My shower tonight somehow left me feeling worse.

In more pointless news, this blog's constant hits from Turkmenistan have now got a sprinkling of Russian hits mixed in.....

And I do not like the new interface google has put on this thing.  Why does google keep making things worse on all its things?

Strange dreams

Less than two hours after I went to bed I was woken by a dream, thinking it was morning.  Which was irksome.
What little I now remember about the dream is that involved Firmin and someone who was simultaneously both Ana and Sophia trying to make me go to a New Years camping trip in a blizzard.  It also involved something to do with the film industry ruining lakeside house prices in what might have been Queenstown but was also sort of Wellington.

A few hours later I was woken again by an old dream, one that I have had since a teenager in which my dream persona remains pretty much as it was as a teenager.  It is a dream in a hospital built in a tall narrow hexagonal cylinder of a building with elevators that have claustrophobic dimensions and short narrow doorways that even a teenager would find too small.  Involving being late to an appointment on a floor that required changing elevators multiple time to get to, all of which were terrifying and uncomfortable.

Because dreams.

And I needed the sleep.  After Saturday night when, either by all the walking or the alcohol fighting with my meds, I was kept awake much of the night with muscle cramps that left me pretty much crippled with muscle fatigue all yesterday.  So all yesterday involved for me was watching the second season of The Umbrella Academy.

Alcohol is not my friends.

I left the house for civil niceness with people I like.
It was very pleasant.

But, for what I think is the first time since New Years, I had some alcohol.
And became obnoxious.
I was pretty sure I was sex-pesting onto some probably straight guy in the bar - though he kept talking very close to me and continued with incidental handsyness so I think he took my awkward pass as just a sign someone was allowing him to continue to talk about himself.

Drunken stumble home, as that third pint was defo a bad plan.  On way, texted Shitlord a happy borthday because I should not have got drunk so close to his birthday.  He replied, a couple more texts were exchanged and I regret it all.

Made it home to pee (over five hours after I last had and much liquid - diabetes clearly not trying today.  And now having a cry about being so stupid as to text the enemy, and writing this.