Winter comes to see me still hating drug dealer school.
SO YOU WANT TO BE A ROMANCE WRITER
- Read romances, the more the better, and if you don't like them, don't write them.
- Finish the damn manuscript. Publishers require three chapters and a synopsis but nothing hones the craft like the finished product.
- Consider the sub-genre. Categories include everything from "sweet" (no sex before marriage) to sexy, super-sexy, inspirational (read: Christian), time travel, paranormal, historical and suspense.
- Join a club. Romance Writers of New Zealand, formed 12 years ago, has around 270 members (nearly all women). Its annual conference is in Auckland, August 22-24, and the international line-up features Barbara Samuel, Jane Porter and Ann Gracie. www.romancewriters.co.nz
3rd June 2003.
Friday morning I went to my lectures, and then I came home and slept, as my head was still feeling pretty crap after Thursday's anaesthesic jab. Then my mother rang up and ranted at me until I caved into babysitting, as I was too sick to even remotely keep up with her argument, and just saying no and that I was too sick didn't work. My mother is such as evil hell beast. Anyway, from there friday was split between napping and ranting at anyone who'd listen (well, my flatmate who couldn't get away) about how evil my mother is.
Saturday morning I broke not only my shiny new filling, but also the tooth is in. And not just kind of broken either, the back half wiggles independantly of the front half. And the pain on Saturday was pretty horribly, thought it's got duller and duller ever since. On Saturday night I broke my fish'n'chips rule by getting them for the second time in a week, I normally have atleast seven sensible dinners between, and it usually averages out at about once every two or three weeks, but I felt the need on Saturday night as I walked to my mother's. She'd wanted me to have Andrew at my place, but there was no way that was going to happen, so I had to spent the night there. I was far from happy about it.
Sunday morning I came home at 7:30 in the morning, just to get away from there and minimise having to talk to my brother, and stuffed around my flat for most of the day, before fetching my brother in the afternoon and taking him out to our gradparent's place for tea. I'd told Nanny about my tooth and when I got there I found she'd made all squishy food, so I wouldn't have to chew anything much. And it still tasted good. Why, oh why, couldn't she have passed that cooking talent on to my mother.
Monday, I went to see Spirited Away in japanese at The Academy. It made more sense, as the subtitles were obviously closer than the Disney dubbing had been, as the plot actually came together properly. Then the rest of the day was wasted as I sat around my flat and avoided the rain.
Today I went to a biochem tutorial this morning, and then came home and prepared for my drug information presentation. It sucked. I screwed it up something chronic. But then every body did, so I guess I kind of fitted in.
I have to go to dent school tomorrow, before this tooth drives me to kill myself. but then I did spend half Saturday considering doing myself in just to spite my mother. Fortunately Simon had a go at me about being a spineless idiot, and it brought me back to something pretending to be sense.
Today's quote is from a Stuff.co.nz article - I thought it was funny.
5th June 2003 - Boniface and Compp.
Yesterday I got up, and my tooth was being sore, then I had breakfast and made it SO much worse. So I headed off to varsity in my ugliest clothes, including a pair of pants that are pretty much PJs with pockets. After my one lecture, I went to dent school and joined the queue for the afternoon clinic. They told me my place was set and I should go away for a couple of hours, so I finished The Chronoliths, which is quite a fun read, it's about temporal causality. Then I returnde it and got out the book of The 10th Kingdom, which seems depressingly just the mini-series put into novel form with nothing much added at all. And then I went back to dent school and sat reading. I was number seven in the queue, it was over an hour before I was seen, and then I was sent back to the waiting room, then back in again to be checked and sent for x-rays, and then back to the waiting room. All up I spent well over three hours in the waiting room, before my 6-day old filling was removed so the dentist I got could see how deep the fracture actually went, and then showed me the hole and the fracture using a series of mirrors (root canals don't leave all that much tooth behind, and I understood how it had ended up breaking, the hollowed out hole in the middle was significantly large than the remaining tooth), before giving me a short talk about prices, and how saving the tooth would be very expensive, before grabbing the fractured bit and ripping it out with big tweezers. Fortunately I was very numb and didn't really feel a thing. Then I got a temp filling over the back of what was left to tide me over until I get the gum surgery I'll need if I want to save the stupid thing.
Fortunately I got a real dentist, admittedly a fresh graduate, but thats still better than a student. And, less important, but still an added bonus, the dentist was kind of attractive, and smelt reasonably nice. There is nothing worse than having a smelly dentist in your face - so I guess I was quite lucky. Well, as lucky as anyone who has just broken a tooth and is still likely to lose it can be.
And if they can save the tooth, I might be looking at about $800 dollars in dental fees. And if I do lose it, it still won't be cheap.
And why did I have to be wearing my ugger pants when I had the shag worthy dentist.
Okay, I've been mentioning the dentist a lot, but that's mostly because I had a very weird dream which I think decodes into a very metaphorical dentist sex dream - maybe. My dreams often make little to no sense.
Anyway, today I lay around and kept feeling miserable, before going to town to have yum char (all nicely soft and squishy) with Alana, before coming home to feel miserable some more - and eat/drink soup. My gums are very tender, and the tooth is still very pressure sensitive, but the pain is mostly gone, mostly.
Today's quote is from "".
7th June 2003.
Friday morning I stuffed around as I was still feeling a tad tender mouthed, and still had just a little of the anaesthesic hang-over. In the afternoon I went to my physiology lab, and pointly didn't participate. For the frist time all year, the physiology lab went the whole three hours. Then I supermarketed and headed home to stuff around until midget's party. As unlikely as it seems, I actually costumed up.
Today's quote is from "".
10th June 2003.
Ok, that last enrey just randomly ended. I think I must have got bored.
I also seem to only be writing n the days which aren't marked as religiously significant in the Sarum.
And, actually, I'm only writing now to comment that one of my childhood friends - who by intermediate had got too cool to acknowledge I existed - has got into Cirque Du Soleil, and got a stuff.co.nz headline about him for it. I'm not sure if I'm happy for him, or vaguely bitter than everyone else in the world has a more interesting life than I do.
And Renate is leaving town. Yet another of my friends is escaping Dunedin. Though she seems quite reluctant, which somehow makes it worse, as she's not going somewhere she's all that happy about. So no-one wins.
Well, Midget's party was ok. Though only as me, Rachel and Katie hid in the corner and ignored the other guests.
Today's quote is from "".
11th June 2003 - Barnabas, Ap.
Okay, I keep starting entries and then just buggering off and leaving them incomplete.
Where did I get upto?
Saturday, I don't particularily remember, though I think that was when I started to play Baldur's Gate, having clocked the sequel. In the evening I went to Katie's flatwarming, but I wasn't feeling crash hot, my tooth was playing up a little. So I decided to come home and sleep, Midget walked with me and ended up talking at me for four hours, making me much grumpier on Sunday than I needed to have been.
Sunday I had my father and brother turn up in the morning to visit, mainly because a family friend had died. Then I pretty much wasted the rest of the day away. Actually, I think it was Sunday afternoon that I installed Baldur's Gate, so on Saturday I must have still been playing BG2. I also got my season one Buffy DVDs back.
Monday I wasted being unproductive and feeling a little off-colour. I tried for an early night, but was then kept awake by tooth pain. If I had but known, I could have stayed up and watched Greg the Bunny.
Yesterday, I stuffed around a bit, went to the doctors and foud my new pills aren't working quite as well as my old one, and my blood pressure is up to 160/88. Though, on the plus side, I'm now feeling the nice comfortable natural depression and not the nasty shapeless drug induced depression I had on the last pills. And believe me, I can really feel the difference. And for the most part I just stuffed around. Then, again. my sleep was interupted by dental pain. In fact it was the worst I've ever felt. So I got considerably less sleep than I wanted.
By the time I actually got up and about, it was too late for the morning clinic at dent school, so I headed down about 11 and started queuing for the afternoon one. I curled up and read some more of the novel of The 10th Kingdom. It is pretty bad. Anyway, I eventually got my tooth seen too, it needed redressing. Actually, while the guy I had (another postgrad) was off getting the stuff, the dentist I had last time came over and chatted to me, and got me to promise pulling rights if it keeps playing up. So while there is still a chance I can save the tooth, and my smile, it's got a little slimmer.
Actually, I'm now kind of wishing I'd just had it pulled, got it over and done with and all. Especially as then I could justify buying myself season one Farscape on DVD as a cheer up. So long as all the work to save this tooth looms on the horizon, I have enough money to pay for the work my puter is getting done on it, and that's about it.
Damn it all.
And it still hurts, though I'm hoping that it is post-work sensitivity, as I have exams starting Monday, and I'd rather fail them due to laziness than because of toothache. And I'd rather not have to go back to dent school in the next couple of weeks. Being that I've been three times in the last 13 days, and all about the same bloody tooth.
I think I might go sleep, I have a whole lot of procrastinating to do tomorrow. Or possibly, I might consider starting to study.
Today's quote is from "".
14th June 2003 - Basil, Bp. and Conf.
It's past dinner time Saturday, my exam is on Monday, and I am about to start study. And actually, I should go start study, or I'll just write this instead.
Oh, and I should write down here, so I remember, that I lent my Everyman Canterbury Tales and my department intro to Chaucer to Tash. this way even if she forgets she borrowed it, there will be something to remind me who I lent it to. I have a chronic habit of lending things out and forgetting who I lent them to.
Well, it's now 9:21pm. I have yet to do any real study. So I think I might just give up on it until tomorrow. I'm considering going out, as I'm just not in a study place. Though my room is all clean and pretty like; except my bed, which is all covered in notes and folders.
And I really have to buy a new chair. The one I have really isn't holding together particularily well, in fact it's very close to folding together, which it is very much not designed to do. I just did a patch job on it to hold it together a bit longer, but it's days are numbered.
And my stupid flat phone is playing up. Bugger it. The ringer keeps not ringing. So the first I know of there being a phone call is if I'm close enough to hear the answer phone being hung up on.
Anyway, rambling. I should go back to my failed attempts to study biochem. I loathe biochem and all its works.
I need more friends. Possibly it's about time I put some actual effort into making some. Though what I really need is a couple more close friends, as I have very few left in Dunedin. And at times like now I could do with some more. My flat has me spooked tonight, for no appearant reason. And Si isn't online, and Midget's phone is engaged. I'm almost tempted to ring Tina. But I'm cheap, and I also can't find her phone number, and may not even have it.
Yay, Si came online, I have someone to rant at.
Though my flat is still all creepy. Damn it.
I don't know why. Mostly it's fine, but sometimes this house just feels wrong somehow. it is also quite possible that I'm just having a random head place thing where I get spooked by any little noise and just generally feel creeped out by stuff.
It may also be a sign that I'm actually nuts. Which would possibly explain the fact I my circle of close friends seems to have shrunk considerably, and a substantual chunk of them are outside the city, where my insane rantings are inflicted on them less often.
Okay, I'm working myself into another of my "no-one actually likes me / my friends only talk to me out of pity" rants. So I think I'll stop while I've only depressed myself, and before I'm a big blubbery pile of pathetic.
Tomorrow I really have to start actual study. Being that all the cleaning I've done today isn't actually going to help me pass. Not even the throwingout of all my condoms (they had reaached their expiry date in the years of my having no opportunities to use the things). It's getting toward midnight, and Si isn't talking, so I might try and ring Midget again, as this whole creepy feeling thing is lacking in pleasantness.
Midget's phone keeps being engaged. And I think I have now, once and for all, proved to Simon that I'm too crazy for him to bother being friends with. And Tina came online, YAY. So I have someone I can be crazy at who won't mind too much.
Today's quote is from "".
16th June 2003 - Trans. of S. Richard. Middle Lessons of Ciricus and Julit[t]a.
Quite unexpectedly, Simon volunteered to put up with me being extra crazy, so I ended up crashing at his place for the night. It was good, I might have ended up freaky tired on Sunday, between my not sleeping in other beds well and my not sleeping near other people well issues, but atleast I was alive in the morning. Which as much as it seems like I'm being overly dramatic now, I was in a really bad head space on Saturday night, and who knows what stupidity I may have driven myself into.
Simon also handled my being random and headcases a lot better than I thought he would have, which is good to know. It means he probably isn't going to try and get me committed or have a restraining order put out against me quite yet.
Sunday, I came home, I spent the day studying. It was slow work, and the fact I feel asleep a couple of times didn't really help. But between tiredness and the amazing levels of boredom metabolic biochem induces, it was gonna happen. Was any of that even in English? Not that it matters.
After an early night I then dozed until my clock radio turned itself off in disgust, it'd been playing at me for two hours while I entirely failed to actually get up. Then I hit the notes until it was time to go to the exam. Which I rushed and left 2/3 of the way through having nothing left to say. It felt like a B-, but that could be the voice of optimism talking.
Anyway, I went to the supermarket to buy bread, cereal and milk, and ended up buying a pile of crap, including frozen pies - not becaue I wanted them, but because they were on sale. it wouldn't be a real issue, except I have the tiny baby freezer from midgetsville which can hold a kg bag of veges, but nothing else. So the pies will have to be eaten in the next day or two. If my eating habits aren't bad enough already, they don't need the help of stupid impulse spending, I'm fat enough as is.
It struck me on the walk up the hill, the instead of stealing peoples brains, i'd like to be able to steal their metabolisms. Okay, this came from an in passing conversation with Filza on the way to my exam, when we debated which biochem lecturer's brain would be best to steal, if that was an option, to get good exam marks. And when I was walking home being grumpy about my stupid purchase of pie, it struck me that it would be cool to be able to steal the metabolisms of people. I could sneak up behind some skinny person, steal their metabolism and then be all thin until my laziness and bad eating killed, and then go find some new skinny person to prey on. I'd leave a trail of disgustingly fat and ugly people behind me, while looking all pretty and lean and feeling all energetic and happy. It's a great plan. If only superpowers were easier to come by.
Today's quote is from "".
18th June 2003 - SS. Marcus and Marcellianus.
Well, I'm just home from the first of todays exams. It had two sections, the first worth a third, and the second worth two thirds. I had studied for the first section and only one small part of the second. Ok. So I get through the first part with only a few glitches - but then, I'm not aiming for stellar marks. But then I got to the second section and the first big question was on exactly the bit I had actually studied. So I ask Brain "How do I do this?"
And Brain responds "I studied this yesterday."
"Yes, yes you did, so how do you do it?"
"Look, the question is just what I studied."
"SO! How do I answer it," I ask nicely-ish.
"I know Stoke's Law"
"Good for you, but that's not what I need right now, how do I do this?"
"Look at all the derivations of Stoke's Law I know," brain replies.
"Stop going on about fucking Stoke's Law, Brain, you dumb fuck. You should be glad you aren't a woman or I'd bash you..." (Ok, that bit is a total lie put in to stir Midget so she has an extra excuse to go all self-righteous feminazi who isn't inviting me to her birthday party because I'm a boy. But then it is probably a good thing I didn't say that, as Brain would have most likely replied by holding two mallowpuffs upto his chest (or lobes maybe) and saying "But look at my lovely chocolate titties". That brain is a complicated (read: weird) one.) So as I was saying before the parentheses, I asked firmly and finally how to do the question I was on.
Brain replied "I don't know" in a GIR voice (as as much as Brain and I disagree, he's still my Brain, and as such who the responsibility for my finding Oliver extremely funny when I'm sleep prived falls upon. So, obviously, his sense of humour is entirely whacked).
But then I can't entirely blame Brain for failing me entirely, he has been a little preoccupied, and that's mostly my fault. I did something without stopping to think how he would handle it recently, and he's not handling it quite as well as could be hoped.
Anyway, I should go prepare for (stuff around until) my next exam of the day.
Today's quote is from "".
23rd June 2003 - Etheldreda, V. With Nocturn. Vigil.
Well, my second exam on the 18th went much better than the first. I had finished entirely and left the moment it was possible to leave. I then went and visited Ian, as I was in the Burns Building anyway. I sat and talked to him for over an hour about departmental politics, Chaucer and pretty much anything else that came into our heads. When I grow up I want to be Ian.
Thursday I had my first day of externship. They had me sorting stock within two minutes of getting there. Then I spent most of the day dispensing prescriptions, until I was sent to the back room where I did resting home pill trays until almost seven when they came in and told me I could go. I was an hour late to dinner at Alana's, but fortunately the meal had been a little late and was still reasonably hot.
Friday was a bit less stressful than Thursday had been, and I actually had a bit of time to ask a couple of the questions I was supposed to get answered between the different chores they had me do. In the evening I was sitting around in my room bemoaning my aching feet, when Rachel came and fetched me off to midget's party - so since she hadn't invited me, I was gate crashing. But I wasn't missing being there when she got the present I had helped buy. And then after it all, she wouldn't let me leave when I wanted to and made me stay up far later than I had any desire to. Being tired and sore and all from my externship.
Saturday I woke far too early, as workmen where outside my house messing witht e pipes. My neighbourhood had been without water since late Friday evening. Fortunately we have an old hot water system, so I managed a 30 second shower before the water got to being insanely hot. Then Midget turned up and dragged me off so I coud be there as she queued up for it to be 11.01 so she could buy her Harry Potter. Then I came home and spent the day reading. I read slow. In the evening I had to go to Midget's birthday drinks at Isis, my leastest favourite bar. I'm just not a pianio bar person, and it was taking a lot of effort not to tell the musician to shut up. I was only 1/4 of the way through, while some of them had finished. So I went home before anyone could drop spoilers. And curled up in bed to read some more.
I'll have to finish this tomorrow, I'm sleepy.
Today's quote is from "".
24th June 2003 - Nat.of S. John Baptist.
Sunday, I spent almost entirely in bed reading Harry Potter. I got up twice, once around lunch when I played puter games for an hour an reading was doing something funny to my neck - during which time Simon dropped a minor spoiler, grrrrrrrrrrrrrr - and once at dinner time to cook some proper food. I finished it at 2am on Monday morning.
Yesterday, I was more than a little tired. I stuffed around a bit, had a long chat on the phone to Catriona about Harry Potter, then headed into town to pick up a library book and pay some bills. Then in the evening Midget came round so she could rant about her whorin' and drinkin', and I went all fire-and-brimestone on her. And she also had some Harry Potter ranting to do, which was much more interesting. I am a crap friend.
Today I've sat around playing computer games, read over half of Terry Pratchett's The Wee Free Men, and baked (which went horribly wrong, but still tastes pretty good). Go my super exciting life, I haven't even left the house all day.
Today's quote is from "".
30th June 2003 - Com. of S. Paul.
Ok, I suck at writing in this thing.
In the last week I finished The Wee Free Men, which I recommend to everyone who liked the labyrinth (which it shamelessly rips off) and started into Return of the King (as I've only read it once, while I've read the first two many times, I just tend to give up after Shelob). I spent Thursday watching vids with Alana and Aaron, and had tea with my grandparents on Sunday. And other than that I've mostly just sat on my arse getting fatter while I play Baldur's Gate II - now with the fan mod The Darkest Day added.
Last night I didn't sleep as I had an attack of thinking about where I'm going with my life. I came to the conclusion that I'm wasting my life away. I don't really want to be a pharmacist, but everything I want to do requires talent or smarts beyond what I possess.
Today's quote is from "".
