Facebook reminder about an event I didn't really want to go to but felt I should. Panicked, thought I had correctly read it.
Got myself dressed.
Went through my gift cupboard and found something that would work, wrapped it.
Sorted someone who could drive me to slightly awkward to get to pub.
Got there.
Was the wrong day.
Can't read.
Am an idiot.
Twelve Months, the 18th full novel in the Dresden Files, has now moved from my Currently Reading to my Read list. After about a month of Dresden reimmersion, I am refresh and then up to date with the new one.
And glad to have them done.
Doing them all together was not the best plan. There is too much of them.
But I did at least enjoy the last one.
I had my pain clinic appointment today. I am not sure how actually useful it was. I guess I will see, I have follow up with a physio for an exercise plan which they seem to think will be a good first step to helping manage the pain, I refrained from pointing out how much it didn't help last time I was doing regular exercise, because I fall into not being a whiner when in specialist appointments - thus stop being one at the single time when it is most useful and appropriate.
I am such a fail human.
Between noticing the hotness of the main doctor, and then the eye-candy I notice in the O-week tent village and on the walk home I noticed a distinct pattern. I was only checking out silver haired nerds. I was just wondering when I had developed a new weird twist on my taste when it occurred to me it is just my old nerd fancying remaining age appropriate. I have almost mostly checked out about my own age. I am so failing to be a proper predatory man. I am so boring.
I am also blaming the wandering eye on having had a cute horny youngster hitting on me fairly hardcore, trying to get me to sext. He has clearly got me worked up enough to be noticing people, even if he hasn't got me worked up enough to be taking the nudes he keeps asking for multiple times a day. I am too old to find it as flattering as it is clearly intended to be.
Also, there were no free pens at the tent village. What is the point of O week?
On Tuesday night I dozed too much and thought I had taken my late evening meds when I hadn't. First time I have stuffed up my meds in many months.
I have spent the two days since feeling very uncomfortable.
It is like my face in the wrong size. Too small for what is behind it.
And the tip of my nose feels like it is somehow in the wrong place in a visceral and itchily disconcerting way.
At least it is less bad today than it was yesterday.
It was still enough to make today zoom-based trauma informed yoga class very uncomfortable to do.
Chronic illness life fails to be glamorous.
In happier news I am up to the 14th of the Dresden Files in my reread of the novels. I am not enjoying them this time.
I also caught up with an old friend back in town after years living in Melbourne in the weekend. Mother of my eldest godchild. Was good to see her and how much happier she is now as a later life lesbian than she was with the shitty men she had to deal with before. No good comes from liking men.
For the second time in the years I have been working on it, I have accidentally wiped all local progress on my novel from a tablet due to an act of idiocy and my latest backup on cloud or another device was VERY out of date.
I really should just use google docs.
On Monday night, the guy I had been sort of but not really dating messaged again, asking to hang out, as if the conversation of a week and a half earlier had not happened.
My bringing up the earlier conversation (come Tuesday morning when I actually replied), thinking we should maybe resolve the issues behind it if we were going to attempt some sort of shadow of friendship after it lead to his sending a numbered list of my faults, quickly followed by a declaration of having actually liked me, and then almost immediately blocking me and soon after deleting the entire conversation chain away.
I really dislike how many modern chat apps allow users to delete chat logs at both ends. Someone else being able to delete information off my phone just because they contributed to it offends me - I also wrote a bunch of that and I didn't agree to it being deleted off my phone.
But I guess it resolved my need to make my likeable to someone who I was finding more and more unlikeable the more I interacted with him and was regretting having met at all. The joys of being a broken person.
Just glad it is all done.
I do not have the spoons for dealing with dramatic people.
I don't have the spoons for dealing with my mother right now.
