October 2008
You can tell it's October by the rain having lumps in it again.
1st October 2008 - SS. Remigius, German, Vedast, and Babo, Bpp. Middle lessons of S. Melorus.
I got a letter from my specialist today (well, a CC of the letter he sent my GP) which is pretty much everything he spoke in to the tape recorder while ignoring me but with the added information that he was "discharging" me back to my GP's "care". Thus proving the entire specialist thing really was just a giant waste of time for all involved and no actual attempt to work out why I am sick is going to be made by the health system.
Basically I'm cranky.
Otherwise this month has started out with my impulse spending a chunk more at the Real Groovy desperate-attempt-to-save-ourselves-from-receivership sale than I really ought to have. Got a couple of books (one of which I was definitely going to buy anyway), and a couple of random DVDs (both a bit of a waste, but Bubba Ho-Tep did come out only $11).
I'm off to read in bed before I vent my cranky at people too much and end up with no friends.
9th October 2008 - Denys and his Compp.
Last night I went out to a party - the first I've been to in freaking ages. It was Carla's birthday. Another first in ages, it was a crowd in which I was so thoroughly out geeked as to feel like some sort of intruder. It's weird, as I've felt a lot less of an outsider among groups that I've had absolutely nothing in common with, and then in a group that most people would probably consider my ilk I found I was very much on the outside looking in. I just don't have and levels of geekness they required. Still, Carla's company is always pleasant and I ended up having a mostly good night, though staying up a bit too late and thus being completely useless today (which I mostly slept through).
I'm trying to think what I actually did over the last week....
I read Diana Wynn Jones's Fire and Hemlock and failed to notice that the major character in it, Thomas Lynn, was a reference to Tam Lin (even though ever chapter started with a quote from the ballad and I was reading it as a modernisation of the thing) until about 100 pages in. I felt very stupid.
I started a first change to my meds the specialist had outlined in the letter, so I've been a bit mood swinging and not a pleasant person to be. And I've taken it out on Simon a little more than I ought to have - which is bad but probably not too bad as it's so far not invoked any angry responses.
On Friday night Anson came around for dinner, which was nice. Especially as he brought said dinner with him. I'm all in favour of people ringing up and telling me they are visiting, and when they bring food as well then it's just awesome.
On Sunday night the quiz team was back to just the usual lot, and we came first again. Order is restored to the universe.
Mostly I've just spent the rest of the week crankily waiting for the streaming video to load enough for me to listen to Neil reading his new novel. I've pretty much used my bandwidth for the month on it.
Oh, and Tuesday night I had nachos at Alana's. So it has been a somewhat social week.
I'm having a LOT of trouble typing today. I think I ought go sleep, I've been up for like five hours....
15th October 2008 - Wulfstan, Bp. and Conf.
My life keeps pottering on much the same. Apart from Sunday night quiz, the only socialising I've been doing is with Christian fundamentalists - who are mostly catching on to the fact I'm stubborn and opinionated, so will probably give up sooner than later.
Quiz was good this week, we won quite decisively. I'm not quite sure what I'll do with myself while Oli is away - though Greer seems keen to keep going to quiz, even if we won't be so comfortable about winning.
Last night I finally tested by sofabed. it turns out that while it may be more comfortable than my bed when you first curl up on it, come morning you feel like you're lying on a fold-out couch. At least now I know its comfort is deceptive.
I'm having one of those days when standing up doesn't work unless I'm holding on to stuff. It fails to be as much fun as it seems it should. Somehow this entry has taken me hours, and I have no idea why. I guess my brain is having an off day too.
I forgot the one interesting thing of the last week. On Sunday my sense of smell went superpowered. It was freaky, but for some reason I was all supersensitive to smell. Mostly, it was an unpleasant experience as there are a lot of bad smells around. it did lead to my quiz team making much mirth of the possibility I'd had a stroke though. So fun was had, if (hopefully) not a stroke.
I made the mistake of going and getting takeaways for dinner tonight - mostly just as I'd not left my unit in a couple of days and needed a bit of outside. The woman who makes the bad falafel wraps was on, so I went for Chinese instead. While, it was surprisingly good, even had speargrass, it was far too expensive for what it was and I don't have a flatmate to bludge off anymore. Must learn to be more careful with my pennies.
And my meds are messing with my head again tonight, which I guess I'm going to have to get used to with the slow changes to dose I'm on. So long as I can refrain from saying anything involving four letter L words to my ex, then I guess it's under control.
17th October 2008 - Etheldreda, V. not Mart.
I came to the conclusion last night that I'm too drug-addled to be talking to new people on the interweb. I'm having enough trouble with the few friends I manage to keep in contact with. I'm always pleasantly surprised when Simon replies to my msn messages. Not because he's given me any reason to think he won't but because I don't know that I'd put up with me, were I him. I was enough of a self-involved, whinging bitch before I'd had a year of constant pain and sickness. At whatever positive/human points I used to have to make up for some of my generally lacking aren't so much there any more. I'm frankly amazed, in a good way, that anyone bothers to still talk to me at all.
21st October 2008 - Eleven thousand holy Virgins.
After writing the above my brother came around to get his birthday present, which had finally arrived from the US. He also stole my bike - though it seems it doesn't like him so I ought get it back soon. That evening Anson visited again, bearing falafel kebab goodness. Made for conversation and a day of pretending at being an actual person. Oh, and that was the night my dosage went up again.
Saturday, after a morning at the farmers' market at which I just ended up eating a pile of junk food, I headed to Alana's for a day of watching videoes and celebrating her getting older and crustier.
Sunday, I had a quiet day at home fighting the rising mood swings of dosage changing, until Oli surprise visited in the afternoon. I think it may have been my best week ever for visitors. Two different surprise visitors (not counting family) may be a record for me. After dinner with my grandparents I headed to quiz for a night of winning and scoring the team two extra $20 dinner vouchers by joining the casino's loyalty club and getting lucky on the prize for joining.
Yesterday and today were both spent entirely inside my unit. And mostly just sleeping. I've been feeling like shit and not exactly doing my best in the fine art of standing upright. Leading up to me ordering pizza tonight, as my flat had emptied of food and I felt too crap to go to the shops.
Tomorrow I really have to go supermarket, so hopefully I'll be a little less falling over and slamming in to things.
Actually, yesterday I thought I'd sprained my wrist and done something bad to my elbow after hitting the floor (taken out by the task of closing my curtains) but today the pain in both is much reduced, and I reckon they'll be mostly back to normal in a day or two.
Annoyingly, the increased dosage is yet to do anything to help the headaches (currently in the form of something drilling through the back of my eye sockets, with a side order of forehead and temple tightness). If anything, in the last couple of days it's been worse, though I guess that could be another fun part of the transition period, like the crazy.
Doh, forgot the actual news. My lupus results came back. This time they were at the low end of the maybe range, rather than the high. So I'm now, officially, probably not a werewolf. If I have lupus, it's in some transitory stage thing and nothing at all to do with why I'm sick.
25th October 2008 - SS. Crispin and Crispinian. Middle lessons of S. John of Beverley, Bp. and Conf.
My name is feebleness. My arms hurt so much that reaching for Lego bricks is causing me to wince in pain. I have no idea what is up, I mean random muscle pain is pretty usual for me thiese days but this is ridiculous.
I think Crispin and Crispinian must be made up saints, purely due to their names.
And I think I may possibly have toothache. After a couple of weeks of wondering, I'm definitely beginning to think it is more likely that I do than that I don't. The problem is that with all the other pain and all the drugs, all I have to go on is that fact that my dream personas have rather reliably had the same tooth ache recently, and that I can sometimes feel my heart beat in one of my teeth (though not in a bad way).
Trying to think what I've done since I last wrote.
On Wednesday I finally got my copy of Buffy Season Eight Volume Two: No Future For You, only a couple of weeks before the next book is due. Grrr at bookstores. It was worth the wait though.
Thursday I had a very pleasant lunch with Emily (who I'm becoming extremely glad I somehow managed to become friends with) and had post-lunch cake with several of the other girls from the office while trying to catch my supervisor to check the paperwork I had filed was okay. Eventually I gave up and came home for a nap. Then dinner at Alana's, followed by curling up in bed and attempting to start William Gibson's Neuromancer, since it's the definitive text of its genre and I felt I might be missing out. I ended up sleeping instead.
Friday morning, Aaron from the Christian group I seem to spend far too often around came around for a cup of tea and a chat about nothing in particular, and invited me out to dinner. Then I spent the day getting only a single chapter through Neuromancer, before falling asleep on the couch until almost dinner time. Dinner was good though, the fundy sorts definitely know how to put a meal together.
This morning I pottered along, a bit late, to the farmers market and for once didn't buy junk food (resisting the urge to throw up while walking along the one-way system had pretty much killed my appetite, meaning I also went on to skip lunch). I also fail to find Rachel, who was there running a table of some sort (other people have assured me she was easy enough to find, so I'm just special). I found her car, but nothing more. On the way home I swung through town. Impulse purchases were made at the Toyworld 20% off sale. I saved myself almost $40. I'm over halfway through building the castle I got. Would have probably finished it and worked out where I'm going to put it by now had my body been acting a bit more cooperative. I'm cranky.
Ergh, I just stood up and my legs felt like they were burning. I have no idea what I've done to make everything suck so much more than usual today. Possibly I should just give up and sleep. Though maybe should have dinner first, just breakfast doesn't seem right.
31st October 2008 - Quintinus, Mart., with Nocturn. Vigil.
I was sure I wrote in this middle of the week, but it seems that I dreamed it.
After a very unpleasant Saturday night, on Sunday I felt mostly humanesque again. Just the usually aches (well, except for lower abs the had been complaining since I'd done a couple of situps the previous Tuesday night (my body is like totally falling apart, like)). Quiz dinner was pleasant, and we won again even after I totally ballsed the baffler even when it was entirely something I ought have known (the second or third hint was even a philological one). Then we had a longer night at Oli's after than usual, it ended up being my second latest night of recent memory. Was awesome though.
Monday, was a public holiday and bright sunny beach weather, so I spent the day dozing on the couch watching Flight of the Concords. Late afternoon my cousin Duncan arrived unannounced, traipsed mud all through the place and displaced even less respect for my stuff than my brother does. I was unamused. Fortunately I had fundy dinner planned giving me an excuse to kick him out rather quickly. The dinner was nice, though followed by the worst movie I've seen in a long time - I'd have preferred reading doctrine.
Tuesday and Wednesday blur completely, so I guess I did little. On one of the days I got new comic goodness (well TPB - so I guess graphic novel).
It's a bit more after midnight than I thought, so technically November. I'm off to sleep, will hopefully pick this up tomorrow.
