In the continuing saga of
Matthew Robertson
Lovely, wonderful spring
What a feeling you bring
I want to fly through spaces
I feel like all three graces.
1 October 1999
October. My Xena calander has Gabby as an evil demon this month. It's a fine day. And I feel like death would be a pleasant surprise.
My fast was not fun, and to have it end with a needle being shoved into my arm wasn't fun either. Like I really needed a lipid profile that much anyway. And it still hurts.
Then after a couple of hours I went to see the nurse and had my blood pressure taken. The first time she took it it was REALLY high, but then she put me in a quiet room with some magazines to read, and when she took it after that it was normal. Which means my BP problems are affected by stress. GRRRRRRRRRRRR and Damn-it-all.
And I have a nasty feeling all of my being depressed about the fact I'm obese has made me put on weight :o(.
But atleast I'm over halfway through the novel i'm reading. Which I shall get back to now.
January,
sick and tired you've been
hanging off me
You make me
Sad with your eyes
You're telling me lies
2 October 1999
I ate so much crap yesterday. And so much of it had food colouring. I was buzzing so much. It was truely scarey. And then i got home (having got lost on the way because my mind was doing weird things) to find a strange freaky girl asleep on my porch. Not good for my possibly sub-standard heart. So then I talked to her, after she turned out to be wormgirl for an hours or so before sending her home so I could sleep.
Today I have done nothing at all, though might go out tonite.
Belle:
There's something sweet and almost kind, but he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined. And now he's dear, and so I'm sure I wonder why I didn't see it there before?
Beast:
She glanced this way, i thought I saw. And when we touched she didn't shudder at my paw. No, it can't be. i'll just ignore. but then she's never looked at me that way before.
Belle:
New, and a bit alarming. Who'd have ever thought that this could be? True that he's no Prince Charming, but there's something in him that I simply didn't see.
3 October 1999
I went out last night. It wasn't too bad, I just wasn't really in the mood. I did get to dance with a very drunk Bex though.
This morning I'm depressed as I've heard more news about my aunt, and it isn't looking good. And there is nothing I can do :o(. I even have too many assessments at the moment to go down to southland and be there with the family :o(. It's just plain horrid. She's way too young to be dying. Anyway, this is just going to get more depressing so I think I'll end it here.
Jackie when you're touching my soul in the candle light
4 October 1999
Yesterday I sat home and finished my novel, Red Dust by Paul J McAuley. It was weird, good on the whole but rather cramped, there is only so much plot and loosely connected action that can be squeezed into a book.
Then after Futurama and 60 minutes I had a much-needed early night.
Well I should really go do some work, darn internal assesment :oP.
Ring, ring, why won't you give me a call
Ring, ring, the happiest sound of them all
5 October 1999
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm having a LUV'LY day. It's all Fire trUCKING rose and daffidols in my life.
Spot the insanely happy guy!
Between some of my friends treating me like I'm a glass child with a bad ankle, liable to fall and shatter at any moment, and all the weird stuff that is going on in my head.
For some twisted screwy reason, something has decided to use my ex as my default mode. Whenever I'm not liking someone else (or trying to not like a certain someone else who already has a BF) guess who suddenly pops up in way too many of my thoughts. Darn it to heck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I was unbelievably rude to said "certain someone else who already has a BF" for no particular reason, and I feel really guilty, but there is no-one that I can apologise that wouldn't end up embarrasing to both of us. And then there is the weird stuff my mind is doing. I completely forgot I was carrying my bucket twice today, causing it to fall to the ground, the first time it even took about ten seconds before I realised I had dropped it.
If I'm like this now, I really don't want to see what I'll be like next week after I have seen my aunt and it has all set in.
Daily Philosophy Bit:
A daily feature that occurs only twice in a month is not truly daily
Twinkle, twinkle, little fate
Why do I keep gaining weight
Temprement and fickle mood
Why am I a slave to food
Wobble, wobble, mightly weight
I think maybe, you're not great
6 October 1999
Last night as horrid. Mother asked me if I wanted a cellphone for my birthday, to which I replied "I'd rather have my hands cut off". So three guesses what that harpy has bought for my birthday. And people wonder why I dislike her.
Then this morning I pinched a nerve in my back at chemistry, and it STILL HURTS.
But my chem lab was ridiculously short. Then i got my lipid profile back, and I have low healthy cholesterol, YAY. Which means I shouldn't have too serious a heart problem as I get old. Though my blood pressure is still too high, and I'm still obese. But what the heck, atleast I have a healthy blood lipid profile.
I spend WAY too much of my life playing Age of Empires II : Age of Kings. And I am so behind on all internal assessment. I haven't done any of the chem i should have got done by now, beging that it was due last week for some, and tomorrow for the rest. Though I like the poem I have written this week, but the inspiration was a little predictable, and maybe its just a little inappropriate.
Anyway, I need sleep.
Sing, sing a song
7 October 1999
I have to wait a whole nother week before I get to see my aunt :o(.
Actually my poem for ENGL217 was loosely based on my aunt, but the class misinterperated it. Useless pack of arts students.
I can't actually think of anything much to write about today, so good night.
You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
9 October 1999
Tash wore my wearable arts monsterousity last night, and she looked fine. It actually worked quite well, but she didn't wear it long coz it wasn't held together that well. Infact now only the past tense is applicable to it. Coz I let Tash keep the top, and the skirt ripped, so I destroyed it.
I have SO MANY BRUISES. Wormgirl (the readers-digest-condensed excuse for a woman that she is) hit me SO many times yesterday. She has some real agression issues.
I've wasted all day today playing "age of empires II: the age of kings". And my friends cancelled on their plan to go to a movie tonight. So it looks like I'm in for a quiet one.
Anyway, my life isn't really interesting enough for my to write anything more, so LATER.
(the sound of silence)
10 October 1999
I'm still grumpy that the library brushed my off. Darn library beasts, I'm probably too good for them anyway. Lousy public service job that it is anyway. When i've finished my chem degree and understand thermodynamics better I'll blow it up, just you wait and see. It and the boichem department.
And I'm still hating humanity in general after some trashy peasant stole the newspaper from a house I had just delivered to yesterday.On the brighter side I saw my granma for the first time in almost two years today. And i saw my aunt Ellen for the first time in about five years. They flew over from Canada/America yesterday. It was really good to see them both. And I saw two of my cousins and another aunt whom I have seen only once in the last year. It's weird how things going wrong in the family bring everyone together. It's a shame that people can't come together for happier reasons.
And I went to see the wearable arts exhibit, I'd been to all the free stuff but hadn't forked out the four dollars to see the actual exhibit till today. It was really cool, though not as cool as the TV specials, the stuff just isn't quite as cool without people inside it.
Well thats it for now. *big hugz all round*
Dear Matthew, Your Ihug webspace contains copyrighted information from http://www.creequealley.com/. The owner has asked for the immediate removal of the material. Please refer to http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~squash/diary/october99.htm. Kind Regards, -- Ihug Abuse Department. [Mon, 16 Sep 2002 03:17:01 +1200 ]
11 October 1999
I've added the theatre studies department to the list of places I'm going to blow up someday. They gave me a C+ for participation after i had been to every class, and always tried my hardest. And they justified it by saying they didn't feel I was really "committed" to it. May the whole department burn with fire and brimestone. May lightning strike the faculty as they flee. Etc. etc. etc.
Now that I have my pointless bitching out of thew way. How are y'all?
I can't think of anything else to write. ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Oh, I saw "As good as it gets" last night. It's a really good movie. I'm very glad I saw it. I heartily recommend it.
Umm, I think thats all for now. I have to go and find a song quote or something from somewhere.
People around every corner They seem to smile and say We don't care what your name is boy We'll never turn you away So I'll continue to say Here I always will stay So ferry 'cross the Mersey 'cause this land's the place I love and here I'll stay and here I'll stay Here I'll stay
13 October 1999
Yesterday i had a compulsory english class picnic, which turned out to be a lot of fun, surprisingly. Quite a few of my poems got asked about too, which has to be a good sign. And I got 13/20 for my CHEM203 essay, which is great considering how little work I did. So basically yesterday was a happy day. I even had a friendly conversation with my ex (whom I am over, no matter how much it may seem contrary). And bought cat food with Catriona (though I don't know if any of her friends saw her buying cat food as being as funny as i did - wow, that is a lot of "as"s).This morning started well,i watched "Good Will Hunting" and then showered and headed in, to have a ULTRA-CRAP meeting with my joke-of-a-head-shrinker. Then I was in a bad mood and some more immature of my friends really started to get on my nerves more than usual. I think I'm losing all my fun/tolerance-of-stupid-peopele/mindlessly-befriending-everyone in my old age, and I'm worried I might be getting bitter and twisted. Infact at my poetry picnic thing a few people had thought jessica had written a couple of my poems because of how bitter they were. Which is possibly not a good sign.
Anyway, i must get ready for the OUSA function i'm attending tonight, i have no clothes, i haven't done washing in ages :o(. And it's too cold/wet to do any now :o(. Later.
What have I
What have I
What have I done to deserve this
17 October 1999
Wednesday 13th: Went to OUSA christmas party with midget, her and all my other friends got drunk, so i got annoyed at them all and went home.
Thursday 14th: Spent the day avoiding starting my CHEM204 report in the hopes I could magically get out of doing it. Had my final check-in with the doctor over the tests I've been having. I have very healthy blood lipids, infact my cholesterol levels are quite below average. My blood pressure is going to cause trouble though, and I've been told I have to get fit / into shape. Which is probably all good for me.
Friday 15th: Did my CHEM204 report, with a bit of help from my lab partner, who is a real sweety. And got it in. It's not perfect, but it's done. Then I got piled into the car for a four hour car trip with my mother, her annoying BF, and a very vomitty lil brother. JOY.
Saturday 16th: Visited my aunt who is dying, she looks good, and healthy. Actually I'm not all that convinced she's anywhere near as sick as the rest of the family is making out. And she says she'll be fine. I'll believe her too, for the mean time.
And then I had all the joy of finding out a bit of stuff about my family that i would have rather not known. Actually, I'm kinda glad I know, i just don't quite know what to think now I know. Strangely though, i don't think it has changed my opinions on anyone involved.
Then last night I scaved a ride home with another of my aunts, and a couple of my cousins, so i could have a day away from my mother, and avoid a stress-filled drive home.
Now: I'm sitting getting fat on comfort food.
You've been crying
Your face is a mess
Come in baby
You can dry your tears on my dress
18 October 1999
Yesterday I went and listened to one of my friends, Vaughn, play in some little orcestra he is in. Then me and Peter went and mocked him about his musical ability at his house for a while. Then after stopping home to set up a video for FUTURAMA I went into town to go to "Plunkett & Macleane" with Nina and a few of our friends for her birthday. It's a great movie. Talk about STYLE. it's great.
Today I have done basically nothing. just visiting Nina to see what other presents she got. And spent the rest of the day stuffing round at home.
Don't get me wrong
If I'm looking kind of dazzled
I see neon lights
Whenever you walk by
20 October 1999
Yesterday I stuff around all day until about 1. I had planned to go to the breakfast with Max bradford, but Midget told me it had been cancelled, so my plans for the day had evaporated like spittle in the sun.
Then when I finally got up and going I went to Wormgirls and rescued her from an afternoon as a tragic study geek. Then it was time to shop for Ali's birthday present. Me and Wormgirl were onto the third shop before I found something I liked and wanted to buy for Ali. Then we stopped in at Paper-Plus as I wanted to see if my comics (Superwoman and Wild Thing) were in. They were :o). though I made a point of getting out of there fast, as there was a blonde on the other side of the magazine stand reading computer magazines who I knew I would have flirted with if I had hung around. And there are some things that are just too tragic to do in front of Wormgirl.
Then I went to deliver the present and Ali wasn't there. GRRRRRRRRRR. So then I came home and stuff around here all day, and that was my Tuesday. And also the ten month anniversary of my being single, though I didn'r realise that part till today.
Today. The stuffing round part was repeated. I took a library book, Glimmering by Elizabeth Hand - which is a really bad book and the editor should be shot there are so many little editting errrors in it, back to the library. I was going to get out some books but realised I had forgotten my library card. So then I visited Nina to borrow a book, but she wasn't home. So I moved onto visiting Tina and Rachael. Which gave me a chance to catch up on all the weirdness in their lives. And they are weird ones.
And, be proud, I finally enrolled in Student Job Search in the hope of finding a summer job. After my trip to SJS, I got home just in time to have missed Pokemon.
Oh, and I got something else vaguely productive done today. I now have most of the poems I wrote for ENGL217 on my web page. Only a few more to turn into HTML and then they'll all be there. Which is probably a good thing, as most of them aren't too bad.
now I'm sitting here watching repeats of Ally Mcbeal and wishing I could be having domestic disputes. Maybe I am weird. Or maybe I just know what I'm looking for is a twisted realist veiw of the american dream. White picket fences all the way. I cook like Betty Crocker, and look like Donna Reid................
And I'm stuck babysitting. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. It's 10:30 and I want to go to bed and get a decent night sleep, something I haven't had in ages. And I'm stuck in the house babysitting and do mum's stupid download. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...........
Good Morning Starshine
the earth says hello
You twinkle above us
we twinkle below
21 October 1999
Last night my mother got home at 11:45. i would have been angry, except she had brought me a peace offering. A 486. i have my own PC now. And it plays Transport Tycoon Deluxe. A program that just plain doesn't run on mother bigger, faster, tougher computer.
So now i'm off to play on it somemore.
Do, a deer, a female deer
Ra, a drop of golden sun
22 October 1999
My 486 doesn't play home-cut CDs. It's not fair. Coz all my stuff is on home cut CDs. darn puter.
I spent this morning playing Transport tycoon. it's great, though the interface isn't perfect, it's better than Railroad Tycoon II.
Then I went town to buy dad a birthday present. On the way there I got snubbed by a copuple of people I really hadn't expected to snub me. one of them, Raj, made a real point of it, looking away sharply as soon as I said "hi". So then I was in a grumpy mood.
Then I bought my father an expensive book, and myself the discworld map. Spending money always makes me feel better. I also meet up with a whole lot of people who stopped to talk to me. Renewing my faith in mankind. And making me much happier.
Umm can't think of anything else to write right now. So later.
Some People's Lives
by Janis Ian and Rhonda Fleming
from the album "Some People's Lives"
Some people's lives run down like clocks.
One day they stop, and that's all they've got.
Some lives wear out like old tennis shoes
no one can use. Well, It's sad but it's true.
Didn't anybody tell them?
Didn't anybody see?
Didn't anybody love them
like you love me?
Some people's lives fade like their dreams,
too tired to rise, too tired to sleep.
Some people laugh when they need to cry,
and they never know why.
Didn't anybody tell them
that's not how it has to be?
Didn't anybody love them
like you love me?
Some people ask if the tears have to fall.
Then why take your chances? Why bother at all?
And some people's lives are as cold as their lips.
They just need to be kissed.
Doesn't anybody tell them?
Doesn't anybody see?
Doesn't anybody love them
like you love me?
'Cause that's all they need.
23 October 1999
Last night I went to "Lola Rennt" for the third time. i have spent SO much money on that film. And i'm still buying the soundtrack too.
Today I went to my father's birthday lunch, and on the ride home found out why a whole lot of my parents friends stopped being friends with us when i was 7. My parents had such a screwy marriage.
I just took a break from writing this to go to the petrol station and buy tea, but i got there and had forgotten my eftpos card. GRRRRRR. So I had to walk home and back down again. It's almost as annoying as the fact I didn't have my "see ten movies get one free" card last night. And a note for the wicked, Wave chocolate milk is disgusting. Bye.
Lovers appear in your room each night and they whirl you across the floor. But they always seem to fade away when your daddy taps on your door. Angie girl, are you all right? Tell the radio good-night. All alone once more, Angie Baby. Angie Baby, you're a special lady. Living in a world of make-believe. Well, maybe.
24 October 1999
Last night I had a nice quiet eary night. It would have been great, except the cat curled up on my bed. Everytime I moved all night, she sunk her claws in. But I guess it has to be character building if nothing else.
This morning I got up, did my paper run, got "Rainbow Islands" off my ex, it's a cheesy little game that uses an atari emulator, and then played it for ages.
Then I found and semi-organised my CHEM204 notes, they are already for me to start revising from tomorrow morning. And the exam isn't till thursday. i am being so good these exams.
I saw a man, and he danced with his wife How I wished he was dancing with me
25 October 1999
Last night I was sitting home watching "Fly away home" and "Fargo" waiting for my tea, but mother went off visiting without having dropped the tea my grandmother had made me off. So I went without a meal :o(.
Then I spent most of today playing Transport Tycoon, watching videos: Fallen and Tomorrow Never Dies and eventually doing some study.
My mother is nagging me to do a whole lot of chores that have nothing to do with me. So, three guesses who is wishing he was an orphan. But then at the rate she is getting on my nerves now days, I might be soon enough. Though she did give me a second hand puter, so I should really let her live atleast a few days longer.
Don't pull your love out on me, baby Coz if you do then I think that maybe I'll just lay down right for a hundred years Don't pull you love out on me, honey Take my heart, my soul, and my money But don't leave me drowning in my tears
25 October 1999
Yay for me, my mother is hogging the internet connection (which I pay for in full), but then she is wonderfully good at failing to notice I exist sometimes. As much as moving out is going to be costly, I'm looking forward to it.
I did almost no study today. I kept flaking out whenever I tried studying. So I gave up. Then I stuffed around for ages before heading off to a movie. On the way to the movie I dropped a video off to Rachael, who was being good and studying (with someone I used to have a bit of a crush on, and still find very shag-worthy). I got to the movie at 3:45 (the paper said it started at 3:50) to doscover it didn't actually start till 4:20. So I had to waste some time in town. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrr.
But the movie, Cookie's Fortune was worth it. Talk about a great black comedy. truely worthy of being seen be all. Liv Tyler as a white trash, shaven haired, fish-processing worker. Chris O'Donnell as a somewhat dense gee-hucks trainee-policeman. Glenn Close as a bossy, self-righteous church play producer. It's all great. And whoever wrote it deserves a prize.
Well, now I just have to wait for a chance to get near the net so i can upload this. Though I don't like my chances.
Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me
30 October 1999
Since the last time I wrote in this I have played over 45 hours of Pokemon Blue Edition. And become the Pokemon master, and caught Mewtwo.
I also had an exam. Which didn't go spiffingly. i had done far to little study.
Other than that, my life has been quite uneventful.
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