Thesis doesn't go, at all, I am SO too stupid for postgrad.
| M | Masculine |
| A | Amorous |
| T | Tough |
| T | Tempting |
| H | Handy |
| E | Exhausting |
| W | Whimsical |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
2nd June 2004 - SS. Marcellinus and Peter, Martt.
On Wednesday my office 'puter died, at the ripe old age of nine days. I almost cried.
After my last lab on thursday (students shock my hand as they left - I felt quite special) I came home, had tea and felt really tired so had quite an early night.
Friday morning I felt terrible. My guts were all painful and disturbingly musical. For a while I thought I had 2,4-DNP poisoning, but then realised I couldn't be that lucky (it'd make me go skinny before I died). Then I thought maybe I'd eaten something dodgy or that my appendix was going to explode. It was loads of fun..... Anyway, I spent the day in bed reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.
Saturday I still wasn't happy but I felt better. I spent the day reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, finishing it just before Dot came and took me to dinner to get some sensible food in me. Then I watched Underworld at her flat before she dropped me home so I could sleep. Underworld is as humorously bad a B-grade vampire flick as you could hope for.
Sunday I felt absolutely terrible again. And spent it mostly in bed reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Stupid being sick, though atleast I was getting through a book a day.
Monday I stuck read a goodly chunk of Harry Potter and teh Goblet of Fire. I also braved going to varsity to have Krshna lunch with Dot. Turned out I wasn't really well enough to be doing that sort of thing. Stupid me. So I came back home to bed and reading.
Yesterday, still feeling sick I read the rest of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Then Alana fed me dinner, and I borrowed Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix off her (I don't have a copy as it is not yet out in paperback and I want my set to match - no point having a series if they don't match). In the evening Midget came around and had me help her with a homework thing for a few hours.
Today. Still sick and very grumpy about it. I'm not a tolerant of being sick type person. Stupid body failing to make itself well yet. That fact that so many people around varsity have it that there was an article in critic about it makes me feel a little better, but still. I've mostly been lying in bed reading, but am up for a bit while I air everything out and try and get rid of the sick person smell in my room, it's bugging me a LOT.
Cordelia: "So this isn't about you being afraid of hospitals 'cause your friend died and you wanna conjure up a monster that you can fight so you can save everybody and not feel so helpless?"
Giles: "Cordelia, have you actually ever heard of tact?"
Cordelia: "Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass."
8th June 2004 - SS. Medardus and Gildardus, Conff.
Well, on thursday I felt like I was dying, it was the worst I'd felt, and I made the stupid mistake of going to playgroup (as they were supposed to be looking at my play, but we spent too long on the first one and didn't get on to mine after all - I could have stayed in bed). I got home after play group and slept.
Friday morning I woke up feeling well, it was great. I finished the last couple of chapters of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, then got up and had a nice quiet day - thinking it better not to tempt fate.
Saturday I had my god sister's 21 (my mother's god daughter - it makes sense, really). It was pretty cool, though I got insanely wet coming home, the steps up to Dalmore from Bank St flooded while I was going up them. It was all waterfall like and probably might even have seemed pretty if I wasn't getting soaked by it.
Sunday, I went to my ex's for a visit. It was good, I'd been having an I-have-no-friends day, and it was nice to have the notion so nicely disproven. Then I went to my grandparents' for dinner. My grandparents are great, but the fact that my mother and brother were also there had me regretting the fact that I had gone in record time. Why don't I leave town and accidentally-on-purpose lose all contact with my family. If I had any sense....
Yesterday was a public holiday and the weather was nasty so I just stayed home being a lazy arse all day. And today, though not a public holiday, is again being blown on laziness. That and depression, I should be working on my masters, but everytime I do recently I just end up feeling too stupid.
I'm beginning to think I should quit my masters, I'm too stupid to be doing it, I'm just wasting my life away getting a huge student loan for no reason. Ergh.
I was supposed to go to a movie with Dot today, but due to an attack of brain freeze it didn't quite happen. Go me, too stupid to even go see a movie - what the fuck am I doing trying to get a masters.
And I really have to work out what has got me so depressed. I'm not in a good head place today - but the fact that I know I am is probably a good sign, as things go. And look, after ages of hardly writing at all, here I am, twice in one day.
Today's quote is from Buffy the Vampire Slayer "Killed by Death".
9th June 2004 - Trans. of S. Edmund, Mart. Mem. and Middle Lessons of Primus and Felicianus, Martt.
Last night I had a good chat with Si, he is very good at inserting some logic in when my depression is getting the better of me. He's like having a reserve of sanity. Anyway, by the time I went to bed I was settled down a bunch.
This morning I woke late having had my sleep affected by some very very weird dreams involving alien trade talks and being feed experimental chocolates by Lucius Malfoy (who was entirely non-descript and looked nothing like the actor in the movies or the descriptions in the book). Then after doing some laundry (having stupidly believed the weather report that said it would be fine), I headed to varsity. I finally read Cleanness - so I now have all my primary texts read - something I should have had done before I started as a masters student. In the afternoon Dot came and we went to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which is actually very good. Jim Carrey does drama surprisingly well.
Anyway, I've not much else to say for myself, so I shall off.
13th June 2004 - Sun in Cancer. Solstice. Thursday I went in to the office and did some readings and started following a couple of leads from my supervisor. Thursday afternoon I had a dent school appointment, on the way there I bumped in that-first-year (now a fourth year and still quite attractive for reasons I am still mostly unable to explain), then went along thinking I was just getting my crown checked but instead it turned out I was being given another filling. It's always nice how they start doing things before telling you what it is they are doing to you - much less asking if you want it done. Colour me grumpy. The playgroup meeting that evening, in which my play was going to come up, was cancelled, so I had a quiet night at home.
Friday I went in to the office and actually did a surprisingly large amount of work. I was amazed. Then being the old man I am, I had a quiet friday night at home in front of the telly.
Saturday I had a nice quite day procrastinating and not starting the abstract I have to write this weekend. In the evening I went to Midget's birthday party. I drunk just enough to feel overly warm eared and awkward(-er than usual). I was also just the right level of drunk to decide that I hated all of my friends who were there. I am so fucking social. It's like a superpower.... I ended up leaving just before midnight - much to the intense disapproval of the midget. I considered drunkedly complaining about it at Si, but then realised I probably lose the only friend I have who I wasn't annoyed at, so I didn't. OKay, it wasn't all my friends I was annoyed at, just Dot and Midget (though they, Alana and Si make up the entirity of my regular social circle). I should really spend more time with some of my other friends - be a bit more social, so when I'm feeling grumpy at people it doesn't leave me a no-friend's loser.
Today I went to drop of some stuff at my mother's. She surprised me by giving me my birthday present early as it would be more useful now. I now have a mink blanket. Muchly warm. Warm makes for happy. And it's sunday evening and I still haven't started my abstract, or even worked out what I'm doing it on. I'm such a slacker. I'm also in a weird mood, which doesn't help hugely. And Si once again felt the need to remind me he thinks I need to see a shrink, and in a context which managed to make me feel even 'better' about my having of friends. Okay, it was me reading contexts in ways they probably weren't being read by him. I'm being a git. But then again, being a git is about all I'm good at. People should go with their strengths. Atleast I have a diary cow spotty mink blanket. So as much as I may be getting crazier as I go, atleast I'm now warm.
17th June 2004. Monday, I went in to varisty and spent most of the day actually doing work on my masters. It was somewhat frustrating as my supervisor has set me on, what I'm quite sure to be, a wild goose chase.
Tuesday was all set up to be a repeat of Monday, except that I was grumpy and ended up not getting that much done and going home kind of early. I walked with Alana, and we ended up going to Filadelphio's for desserts mid-afternoon. Got me over my supervisor induced grump with the power of sugar.
Yesterday I had a semi-productive morning in the office. Hit on someone I keep hitting on even, though I have no idea why, in the library. Then skivved off mid afternoon to go to Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban with Catriona and Alana. It wasn't terrible, it was better than the first two, but it wasn't right. I didn't agree with several of the casting decisions and I wasn't entirely happy with the script either. But then I'm picky and a book purest and difficult. Then I went to Alana's for dinner and came home to angry answer phone and ICQ messages from Midget - who'd read the above entry and decided to throw a hissy fit about it. Always nice when people stretch things out of their contexts just to justify making a scene out of it.
Okay, possibly doesn't help that I'm still a bit grumpy about Simon's implication in the weekend that I should have a shrink and not friends. Which probably isn't what he meant - and I'm entirely willing to admit that that meaning may entirely have been made up within my own head, doesn't mean I'm not letting it hurt though.
I'm a nut bar. And maybe I do need some shrinky goodness - but I'm still pretty sure I should still be allowed friends. Okay, I'm ranting with the rantiness, I should go get ready for school and stop inflicting myself on the internet.
Yay for friends, after a day obsessing about something stupid and trivial (I thought maybe I was only friends with people who I get stuff out of - there was little logic to it but I felt all paranoid and bad) Si chatted to me for just a few minutes and I feel much happier about the world now.
18th June 2004 - SS. Marcus and Marcellianus. Last night's playgroup was good, the guest speaker was fun, and gave me a nice copy of his play. I'm easily impressed.
So far as I can tell Midget is now angry with me for assuming she was angry with me. Oh, and she keeps assuring me that I'm pissed off with her. I'm in here with my emotions and I can't find this great anger towards her that I'm supposed to be feeling. Also, I may be a complete hypocrite but that doesn't mean I'll resist the urge to point out hypocrisy when I see it. And someone being annoyed at me for attributing emotional states to them while they are busily telling me I don't know what I feel, well that just strikes me as hypocrisy.
And at the rate I'm going I really will be a no-friends loser. Ah well, today atleast the prospect hasn't exactly got me shaking in my cheap and nasty boots.
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19th June 2004 - SS. Gervasius and Protasius. Yesterday, after some unproductive time at varsity - doing such study related things as helping a friend on mine while her 11 month old played on stairs - I went into town for lunch and bumped into Oli and lil' Erin and hung out with them for the rest of Erin's lunch break and then stuffed around with Oli for the rest of the day.
Late last night I bought an Ultima Online house on WOD - which means I have to log on once every two weeks now or I lose my stuff (might not necessarily be a bad thing if I broke my habit of playing it).
Today I've had a pretty lazy day. Not done much worth mentioning at all really. but I've been warm and it involved Buffy viewing, so all is good in the world.
Anyway, I'm supposed to be at a Yule party (crazy pagans celebrating the lack of summer), I should think about getting ready and heading off.
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20th June 2004 - Trans of S. Edward, K. and Mart. Unless it has been kept in Lent.
Yule party turned out to be a lot of fun. The drinking of mead, and making of loud merriment. I think Katie was confused, she asked if I had made up with Midget and apologised for my part or forgiven Midget for hers and seemed entirely at a loss with my belief that neither were going to happen as neither were necessary. As far as I'm concerned, if people should have to apologise to their friend for being who they are then there is no point in having friends. Plus, I had drunk a fair bit of mead and cider (all from a communal horn - so I possibly also got a generous supply on meningitis). Made for a fun night.
Today has been uber-unproductive. I was supposed to spend it reading Iris Murdoch's The Green Knight, but instead I watched some Buffy and played some Sims and spent far too long decorating my house on Ultima Online. I'm such a slacker.
23rd June 2004 - Etheldreda, V. With Nocturn Vigil.
Monday was a a bit chilly, so I pointedly walked around in a t-shirt all day. Me manly-like. I had lunch with Dot and spent most of the rest of the day actually doing work, and spent the evening fighting with Iris Murdoch's The Green Knight - which is good, but not an easy read at all.
Yesterday, again cold. In fact, cold enough that I actually wore a jersey for part of the day, but only because it started raining on me. After lunch there was a post grad meeting. Midget is the rep and was less than happy that only three people joined her for her meeting. She then dragged me off shopping and for a chat, so no more work was done that afternoon. And once more the evening went to Iris Murdoch.
Today I got an interloan that turned out mostly useless but did atleast point me toward a text which might be all helpful. It's a 1450 something translation of a French translation of a Latin translation of a Catalan text moralising chivalry. Stupid early modern English - had it been writeen only a handful of years earlier it would count as middle english - not hugely easy to read. I came home to the discovery that I really am a naggy annoying bastard and a crappy friend - I keep bugging Si about the not going of my office 'puter, and I think it may have got to the stage where I'm being an arse about it. Anyway, I should make myself dinner, I have another evening of Iris Murdoch ahead of me, I think I can get past the half-way point in the book tonight.
24th June 2004 - Nat. of S. John Baptist.
My good plans to spend last night reading didn't quite pan out, and I had a night of watching crime shows on TV. Colour me a slacker.
Today I stuffed around in the office, had lunch with Dot, and stuffed about the office some more. I also bumped into Kumari, who commented that she thought I'd lost weight - it made me happy. And I got dinner out of my mother, who I coerced into feeding me so that I'd be nice to my brother, and because she had some stuff for me to pick up. My grandmother had bought me some 225 thread count percale sheets. Grandparents are great.
I think Si may be annoyed at me, he's ignoring all my messages. Bugger it.
27th June 2004.
On Friday (after spending the morning finally getting past the halfway point in the Iris Murdoch), Catriona lent me Firefly on DVD. Joss Whedon is my god. All hail the Joss. SO that's where much of my time since has gone. Though on Friday night I did send a few hours tending the midget, who had demanded some attention.
Saturday mostly went to watching Firefly. Though Nice Peter - whom I haven't seen in about two years - came to visit. It was good, we caught up a bit and generally maliciously gossiped about people. I had forgotten just how gay he is, it was quite funny. Actually, I think he may be the only really gay friend I have. Though he does prove I don't hate the really gay just for being really gay, as I find him quite pleasant company. Obviously my hatred of most really gay people is, thus, entirely valid.
Today, I watched more Firefly, purchased the final season of Buffy on DVD (so I now have them all, Yay) and had dinner with my grandparents.
29th June 2004 - Peter and Paul, App.
Iris Murdoch is still going slow, I want to get it finished to return it on thursday when it's due. I'm at about the 2/3rds point. And I'll admit that I've had to have a dictionary along sode while I read. There are some words in there that were just plain outside my experince, such as "ennui", which though the word was foreign to me - was a concept I was quite familiar with, though I'd have just lumped it in with lassitude.
Yesterday I went in to the office just to sit in the tea room and chat to Lizzie and Fet till I decided to come home and read more Iris Murdoch, on the way home chatting to someone I think I might like a little, who turned out to be a southlander. Which might be a nail in the coffin of that crush. After dinner at Alana's I came home and spent the night reading.
Today has been very unproductive, I have so far neither read any more fo teh book nor worked on editing the play I have to have at the fortune by friday and entry in a competition. It's now ater dinner, and I think it's time I stick into the novel, I want to get it finished tomorrow so I can spent thursday rush editing my play. I'm so not going to win, but still, it's worth trying.
I should go try and do some work.
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