Disclaimer

Though a "Diary" my online diary is a work of FICTION.

It may at times strongly reflect actual events of my life, often how I honestly perceived them and display my genuine reactions. But not always and everything contained within should be treated as a fiction.

This is also a personal diary, so by reading it you are violating my privacy. And as it is a personal diary you are not allowed to hold anything you read in it against me, as you shouldn't have been reading it anyway.

Also, this diary is not to be read by anyone who has gone out with me, would like to go out with me in the future, or suspects I may like to go out with them.






Click Here for the old site, as backed up by Wayback Machine (I have gone with the 2007 version as it is the latest that is still before vodafone crunched a bunch of my files)

Wednesday, 13 February 2019

Possible improvement

Yesterday, for the first time, my New Years resolution (to always have a whole day of meds with me, and not just what I expect to need) turned out to be useful.

I had an afternoon tea outing with the semi-imaginary-one and a couple of his work friends.  End of day muffins at Muffin Break.  Like adults.
This lead to us going to Glass as a group.  For some M. Night superhero action.
Then I went back to the semi-iamginary-one's flat for about five hours of having very overdue conversations and going through the photos from his trip last year.
I have a lot of residual annoyance over a bunch of things, and that trip is one of them.
Seeing the photos and finally being told where he had gone was nice, but did rub in the fact that while he was sending regular pictures back to some people and I got none over the whole month and a half.  I wasn't even told what countries he had been in.

Why am I in love with such a douche-bag?

We talked a lot.  A lot of things that needed said and a lot of my anxiety being voiced (most of which was probably better unsaid).

We still have a long way to go.  Especially as he claimed ignorance of things I had definitely talked at him about before.

Attempting romance is too awkward.
I should have just died alone.  Things would be easier that way.


Also, there was discussion on monogamy.  While it seems we are both in favour of it, the fact I had not explicitly demanded it means it was expected....  This conversation will need returning to.  It may end badly.  Considering it has been a number of years since he agreed that I shouldn't see other people - and which I wasn't sure if it was language failing him or him being an arsehole.  He claims to not remember that conversation at all.

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