Disclaimer

Though a "Diary" my online diary is a work of FICTION.

It may at times strongly reflect actual events of my life, often how I honestly perceived them and display my genuine reactions. But not always and everything contained within should be treated as a fiction.

This is also a personal diary, so by reading it you are violating my privacy. And as it is a personal diary you are not allowed to hold anything you read in it against me, as you shouldn't have been reading it anyway.

Also, this diary is not to be read by anyone who has gone out with me, would like to go out with me in the future, or suspects I may like to go out with them.






Click Here for the old site, as backed up by Wayback Machine (I have gone with the 2007 version as it is the latest that is still before vodafone crunched a bunch of my files)

Monday, 2 March 2020

Ugh

So basically a week has happened.

On Wednesday I had D&D in the evening, and dinner Carla and Ian had prepared.  Before that I don't recall doing anything.  I was pretty zoned out in the evening so it is fair to say I probably didn't do much at all.

Class on Thursday was a disappointment to the point I am not sure why I bothered going.  It was about nothing and had no content, I think it was just so the lecturer could get a feel for how naive this batch of 18 year old girl is about the world.   The number of them who seemed to think feminism was over because it had done its job.....  And having a pretty teenage girl explain that homophobia doesn't exist any more and there is no downside to gay men being open and public about it, that made refraining from talking down to her very difficult.
After that I got lunch and a ride home from my dad and then spent the afternoon playing Final Fantasy 12, because the game plays itself and I was just trying to trick myself into thinking I was awake.  Then dinner with dad - seeing him twice in the day because he had literally got back that morning from months of living in Christchurch and having not even visited home since my birthday.

Friday I had a date-ish thing.  Four hour of conversation, food and wandering the streets with someone attempting to establish if we are going to be friends or more than friends.  I think it was leaning more toward friends, but I honestly still don't know.  And I am still too broken to trust my instincts on the more than friends front.

I spent the weekend and today being antisocial in my PJs and having no human contact.  It was mostly awesome.
Though there were meds issues.  Turns out the pills my doctor gave me for my lungs that say "when needed" are more needed than I realised when yesterday I got cocky and decided I was over needing them already.  Led to a bad night.  And not a great day today.  Such chest pain, I had forgotten so quickly how bad it had been until it was back to remind me.

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