I aren't dead

I thought I had written more recently.  Seems I hadn't.

28th, I am pretty sure I spent at home achieving nothing.

29th, I left the house, going for lunch, some bookshopping (stalking his crush), and cafe beverage with Tavendale.

30th, my dad arrived in town for a visit.  So had lunch, some shopping, dinner and going to WW84 at the theatre with my dad and sister.

31st, I spent the entire day in my PJs.  Watched the New Year's Eve fireworks from my bedroom window.  I was feeling kind of gross and had no energy for anything.

New Years day, I started the year by leaving the house.  Tavendale took me to the new Monster Hunter movie.  It is not good.  Then we got a late lunch at Golden Harvest.  So much Chinese.  It is stupid expensive but the serving size is huge.

Then I did not wash or dress again until the 5th.  Feeling mostly too exhausted to even play computer games.  It was mostly just watching youtube and Netflix.

Monday my laziness was broken up with sulking.  I realised it had been a year since I stopped making any attempt to have things with Shitlord end on a friendly note.  When I realised there was nothing there to save.  Though I remained convincible for an ebarrasingly long time after - not that any attempt to convince me would ever be made after I failed to follow to order he gave that I immediately forgive him and be his friend again already.  I spent so long trying to justify that was his being bad at emotional stuff or it being a language thing.  Really, it was just him reminding me that he is not a person who should be in my life.  I'm not even entirely confident he is a person any more.

Yesterday I shower and dressed to go to South D to pick up a parcel that the courier didn't leave on the 30th - even though it didn't need a signature.  Apparently they didn't think it was safe to leave a Y stickered parcel on my doorstep (though they have before).  My cans of air for cleaning the Lego before I pack it up.  On the way home I bought too much junk food at Puk n Slave.  And was horrified by how no-one was checking in on their COVID tracer app as they went in.  Fucking South Dunedinites, being trash......  I can as a massive classist.

Then David messaged me about going out to dinner, so I went for Nando's with him and Claire in clothes picked assuming I was only going to South Dunedin, not around actual people.

Today that decision worked out, while zoning out on the couch having a lazy day (interspersed with brief windows of playing Cyberpunk 2077), I unintentionally picked apart the shirt - the one Shitlord gave me, the one I later found out he had bought for someone else and then given to me as he'd got the size wrong.  So now it is unwearable.  Good riddance I guess.  Was too good to thrown out just for reasons of association but now can be acceptably got rid of.

Then when checking outside my flat for my delivereasy dinner I heard a weird noise so stood in the stairs for a bit until I realised it was someone quietly asking for help.  That led to drama of calling the police and watching them kick in a neighbours door.  He had fallen and couldn't move, and was not particularly lucid.  But that was some drama and excitement - if only it hadn't been for such a depressing reason.  And such a reminder that some day I will fall and then die of dehydration on the floor, not found until the smell annoys the neighbours.