I had a title sorted but it has slipped my mind

Saturday I did very little as I was feeling stupidly exhausted from the small amount of effort the day before.  So I did mostly nothing until dinner time.

Then proceeded to break my sister in a restaurant.  I was trying to defuse what felt like an attempt to pick an argument by pointing out she was getting worked up arguing when no-one was disagreeing.  I realised immediately it was the wrong call, and should have known better as she headed into a weepy meltdown.  My attempts to de-escalate with her always backfire in some way.  For someone who is very quick to reprimand anyone she thinks is raising their voice, she seems entirely oblivious to when she is doing it and treats anyone accusing her of it as some sort of attack.  Because of course returning a less angry version of her own behaviour makes me some sort of vile monster.  It is awkward and led to lying awake torn between feeling guilty and being very annoyed at feeling guilty considering the shit she has pulled out of me that I am just supposed to ignore and treat as perfectly fine.  I mean, this is the woman who told me I that I had no reason to live and should kill myself, but also declared that my rolling my eyes in exasperation at her was an unforgivable act of violence against her life.

I get complicated and is sometimes very hard to care.

I know it is an ASD thing, she can't help a lot of it.  But that doesn't make it any easier.

Only children are the luckiest.  Up there with orphans.

Yesterday I played some Cyberpunk 2077 until I got too angry at all the crashes (and a couple of BSODs) and gave up on it and trying playing a bit of Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition.  It really draws attention to how old the game is, more than just playing the original version does.  I don't know that I have the patience to play it again.

And because I was feeling extra shaky and useless, I cut my hair.....

My attempts at a swept fringe led to the most middle-aged combover that ever combed over.

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So that happened.

Today I rebuilt my dropped Lego Disney castle.  Then rearrnaged clutter to make room for it as it was too tall for my coffee table and got in the way of the TV.

And my mother briefly visited to show off my flat to school friends of hers, and I suspect make herself seem like she is doing better as a parent.