Today I received my first bank statement ever. I was told by the bank
teller a couple of weeks back that I was getting them on a very regular
basis and the statement itself claimed to be the
forty-fourth one I've been sent.
I just want to know who has all the rest of my bank statements. Anyway,
this is a kinda pathetic start to a new diary page. But, hey, it isn't
like anyne reads this anyway.
Oh, and I'm just about to come out to my mother. So hopefully that will
go okay. *fingers crossed*. And if your sitting there going "come out
about what" or just being offended that I haven't told you in some
other way then sorry but I am kinda obvious. And it is getting around
anyway so I'd prefer to tell as many ppl myself as possible instead of
it getting to them through the rumour mill. Well I'm off to tell Mother
and hope I survive at least long enough to call an ambulance.
Well I told her. And she told me I was making stupid choices and
screwing up my life. But at least she didn't kick me out of the house.
Though I did get a big lecture about how
I would never be happy and how all my friends would turn away from me
etc etc etc
Well, if my friends are that shallow then I don't want them in my life
and I think most of my friends had worked it out anyway. And those that
hadn't will be okay with it all really.
I hope. Otherwise it looks like I'm just end up a lonely bitter old
spinster. :o(
And for those of my friends who are finding out by reading this, I am
really sorry
I didn't tell you in person. but I'm a wimp and I suck at
confrontation. As it is I've been shaking for the last hour (since I
told Mother).
Please remember I am still the same person. I haven't changed, except
now I'm not hiding myself quite as much. And I would like to point out I
didn't choose this, I'm not trying to cop out on life, this isn't an
easy road and it isn't one anyone would choose, it is just who I am. I
can only hope that you'll see past it and realise that, sexuality aside,
I'm still the same person I always was and I haven't changed. I'm
still just big cuddly soft-hearted easily-manipulated simple-minded
Matthew. It's just now you know that my ex is, well, male.
Anyways now I'm off to bed. With any luck I'll be able to sleep. night.
No comments:
Post a Comment