Five hours of very helpful ranting

Last night Shitlord replied to something I had said, because in my stupidity I keep reopening myself and letting him communicate, after work and it led to an awkward exchange to finish off the day.
I have too many emotions about him.  Logically I know he is not a person who it is good for me to be around but I really just want to hold him.
I was also reminded to be cranky at him by the iphone message app being weird when you open it in landscape and popping up a brief preview of very old messages - they were messages from when he was fucking me around about when he'd give my keys back.  A reminder that he kept playing dumb power games at me even after things had gone far too awful for that to be forgivable.
At some point I need to work out how to make my brain chemistry catch up with my logic and stop wanting him.
I got angry, he told me to go to sleep.  It was basically a "calm down" message.  Had I not already been in bed I might have been snarky back, instead I just tried to sleep it off.

Today I had a slow start, watching some Orange is the New Black, as I still haven't finished watching the final season.
Then headed in to town at lunch time and met up with Catriona, who then had to listen to me rant at her for five hours.  We had not caught up in a long time - I think last time I was trying to network with her to find job openings for Shitlord to apply for.  So I explained a lot of the relationship and a lot of how generally messed up it was even before the stupid ending and post-ending awkwardness.
I ranted so much.  And I cried a little at her, while sitting in a cheap Japanese fusion restaurant.
And I watched her do a little shopping, and used her company to justify buying some very unhealthy snacks before I came home.

To play Stellaris, watch more TV and generally be a sulky little bitch.

Ranting for hours helped my day, but I am still doing a terrible job of being a human.

And, I just unfriended Shitlord on Facebook.
I thought it would feel empowering somehow, but it is just making me feel sad and hurt.