Disclaimer

Though a "Diary" my online diary is a work of FICTION.

It may at times strongly reflect actual events of my life, often how I honestly perceived them and display my genuine reactions. But not always and everything contained within should be treated as a fiction.

This is also a personal diary, so by reading it you are violating my privacy. And as it is a personal diary you are not allowed to hold anything you read in it against me, as you shouldn't have been reading it anyway.

Also, this diary is not to be read by anyone who has gone out with me, would like to go out with me in the future, or suspects I may like to go out with them.






Click Here for the old site, as backed up by Wayback Machine (I have gone with the 2007 version as it is the latest that is still before vodafone crunched a bunch of my files)

Sunday, 13 October 2019

Self destructive niceness

I kept talking to Shitlord's other other guy because he is pretty much where I was four weeks ago and I feel for him.
But it is revealing more and more reasons why I should never trust Shitlord ever again.  More of more lies and betrayals keep being revealed.
He is bad people.

And I am still painfully in love with him.

Also, it seems I did get the shittest treatment.  I am not sure if it was because I was the local idiot (though not the only local entanglement as has been revealed).  Or it was because I was the least desperate for his love, so he had to destroy me enough to be entire dependent on him.

It does seem he preys on those who will need him entirely - and thus give up on everything that conflicts with his evasive bullshit.

 All of this is just hurting myself further.  So much hurting.
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