Disclaimer

Though a "Diary" my online diary is a work of FICTION.

It may at times strongly reflect actual events of my life, often how I honestly perceived them and display my genuine reactions. But not always and everything contained within should be treated as a fiction.

This is also a personal diary, so by reading it you are violating my privacy. And as it is a personal diary you are not allowed to hold anything you read in it against me, as you shouldn't have been reading it anyway.

Also, this diary is not to be read by anyone who has gone out with me, would like to go out with me in the future, or suspects I may like to go out with them.






Click Here for the old site, as backed up by Wayback Machine (I have gone with the 2007 version as it is the latest that is still before vodafone crunched a bunch of my files)

Tuesday, 28 April 2020

Not okay

I have not been holding it together.
The knowledge that I am no longer sharing this blog makes it so much easier, but also more pointless, to be honest about this.

The weeks without human contact has done me no good.  My brain has been fixating on Shitlord again.  While I have carefully been maintaining my bubble and not even allowing my father within two metres when he drops stuff at my door.  But if Shitlord had tried to get into my bubble, I suspect I would have let him straight in.  Good thing we haven't communicated in months.

I was falling apart before my grandmother's death.  Days of worse migraine has pushed things over the edge.  And that migraine seems to be moving into an actual head cold.  How did I get a cold after weeks of zero human contact.
At this point it is a struggle to just not give up entirely.
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