Another week down

 Brain-poking on Tuesday was mostly about Shitlord again.  Which is annoying as I hadn't mentioned him in ages and then his birthday comes along again and rudely reminds me how trash he is (Facebook's memories feature does a bit of this too - reminding me of all the non-subtle cries for help I didn't realise I was making and which my friends ignored).

After the session I got lunch in town and then went to a GP appointment.  Because my doctors office sucks, I had an appointment with a random locum.  She turned out to be most university med-school staff, and lamented she didn't have a student with her as my neck is now interesting enough to be something students should see.  Being told I was medically interesting was a clear sign that I have been inadequately looked after by the health system, things shouldn't have got this bad.  Then being told I should be turning up at ED every time it is especially swollen as the doctor didn't trust the hospital to actually schedule my now-overdue surgery unless I had a right nuisance of myself.

This is not how our medical system is supposed to work.

I know I should feel angry and driven to sort things.

But I just feel....

Defeated.

So defeated that I sort of feel like the correct response is to just curl up somewhere and die - be a statistic of the DHB's many failings.

Wednesday I had lunch with my dad and sister at the Esplanade.  I gave myself mild tomato poisoning with very nice lasagna.

Thursday I had to wash and leave the house to get meds that the pharmacy hadn't had on Tuesday.  I had also had plans with Midget but she'd bumped them a day.

Friday morning Tina came to visit and we went for a morning walk around second hand book stores.  Then had lunch with Midget and spilt butter chicken down my new Watford School of Magicks hoodie.  One of the goats three eyes is still orange even after going through the wash.

I have not left the house since, as not long after I got home I had an attack of full body pins and needles whenever I moved (normally that only happens when I stretch out my back and comes right in like 30 seconds).  So I went to bed and listened to the Sandman audible Act 1 (Amazon was doing it for free as promotion for Act 2, Neil Gaiman had social media posted a link).  But that was Friday evening and much of Saturday safely used up without having move or use my eyes.  I'll take it.

Then some watching of TV and YouTube and some playing of the very buggy The Sims 4: Cottage Living.

I achieve little, but downtime is all I do but somehow I was still too exhausted and needed a deeper level of downtime.