Disclaimer

Though a "Diary" my online diary is a work of FICTION.

It may at times strongly reflect actual events of my life, often how I honestly perceived them and display my genuine reactions. But not always and everything contained within should be treated as a fiction.

This is also a personal diary, so by reading it you are violating my privacy. And as it is a personal diary you are not allowed to hold anything you read in it against me, as you shouldn't have been reading it anyway.

Also, this diary is not to be read by anyone who has gone out with me, would like to go out with me in the future, or suspects I may like to go out with them.






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Tuesday, 17 August 2021

Morbidity and mortality and the rise of delta

I awoke to the news that my least favourite uncle is terminally ill and in late stages.  So I spent a lot of the morning pretending he hadn't been a dick to me every time I ever interacted with him.

I understand this is very sad for my father, but I only have negative memories of that uncle.  Including some pretty spectacularly awful ones, to the point I had discussed him with my shrink before.

 There was interest fungus in my back garden.

I made it to Artsenta writing group only about 8 minutes late.   Though the short short story I wrote was commended as a wonderful poem.

Walking through town I realised I was paying far too much attention to beardy dorks and fit-for-their-age silver foxes.  Far too much noticing other people.  And judging their husbandibility......  I may have the lonesomes.  But going through town also featured stopped at spec savers to get the loose screw issue solved and got my glasses cleaned in the process (revealing they were messier than I had guessed).  And I actually bought the book I read in the weekend, to support the author.

Brain-poking was considerably about my uncle.  A certain electric fence in my childhood.  And my lack of forgiveness.  Though also had a much worse than usual attack of my brain suggesting he'd be good to hug to distract me from overly hard thoughts.  I know what it is doing, but it is still deeply disconcerting.  And, apart from being utterly inappropriate and not actually an option, he does vague fit my list which makes the disruptive and intrusive thoughts a bit harder to shake.

I failed to buy groceries on the way home as I was in a mood and decided that could be tomorrow-Matthew's problem.  So obviously the evening brought news of an immediate lockdown as COVID had got into New Zealand.  So tomorrow-Matthew will just have to make do on very limited supplies for the run of this lockdown.

Also thought there was an earthquake while I was in town until realising it was just my tremors playing up.  I have been a bit tremor-y ever since.  It had been behaving so well recently.

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