Disclaimer

Though a "Diary" my online diary is a work of FICTION.

It may at times strongly reflect actual events of my life, often how I honestly perceived them and display my genuine reactions. But not always and everything contained within should be treated as a fiction.

This is also a personal diary, so by reading it you are violating my privacy. And as it is a personal diary you are not allowed to hold anything you read in it against me, as you shouldn't have been reading it anyway.

Also, this diary is not to be read by anyone who has gone out with me, would like to go out with me in the future, or suspects I may like to go out with them.






Click Here for the old site, as backed up by Wayback Machine (I have gone with the 2007 version as it is the latest that is still before vodafone crunched a bunch of my files)

Wednesday, 6 March 2019

Fat Tuesday where I am, but Ash Wednesday in the real world.

Evelyn and my uncle Johnny keep arguing.  It is making everything very unpleasant.
But I am not allowed to kill either or (better) both of them.
One can’t not fight for whatever idea is already in that thick head and the other is so ridiculous in his anti-having-respect-for-other-people and climate science denial.  It is it fun to be around - unless you are my dad, who is such a fun of unnecessary chaos that I often suspect that he is just an arsehole.

Still really not enjoying this trip to Canada.
I thought not being alone would help with my depression, but it is mostly just making me want to take my family out with me.

I ran away from them today and walked into town. I really should have stayed away from them for longer.  They are not proving pleasant to be around.

At least the semi-imaginary-one is making slightly more effort than I had expected.  He has sent pictures from a group outing that I would have been invited to (probably by his flatmate).

I am mostly just really hating being in Canada so far.
I wish I had stayed home in my flat and my own space with as much of my loneliness as I want. The feeling of being surrounded by all this family is a lot like loneliness but a bit worse.

And my loneliness would at least let me get some sleep.

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