Shame

So. This morning to break the boredom of the trip I had a poke about in the gay social apps. The semi-imaginary-one uses them for reasons that may or may not be my fault.  Very unlike him I was absolutely clear in my profile that I am spoken for and not looking for anything more than friends.

So of course there has been an avalanche of unwanted dick pics.
Homos really are the worst people.

The first guy I try to initiate a conversation with myself on Grindr I realised only after I had said hi and it was too late to pretend I hadn’t looked (like I did with everyone else) was a cousin (technically second cousin) who I had it yet met.
He immediately blocked me.

I was at about 70% that it was a dumb experiment and that I should delete the app before that happened. Now it is definitely going to be deleted.

People should never say hello by sending an unsolicited picture of their genitalia. Or of any body part (except maybe a clear shot of their face).

Also I am pretty certain I only installed it out of confusing and poorly defined anger at the semi-imaginary-one.
I really have to man up and sort things with him.  I am pretty certain that if he isn’t my “the one”, then he is at least the closest that I am going to get.
For all that things have been more problem than not, he is still the first person in my post-teenage life that I have genuinely wanted things to work with. Which has to count for something.

Or I am just so smitten with his boobs that I am blinded to reality.