Disclaimer

Though a "Diary" my online diary is a work of FICTION.

It may at times strongly reflect actual events of my life, often how I honestly perceived them and display my genuine reactions. But not always and everything contained within should be treated as a fiction.

This is also a personal diary, so by reading it you are violating my privacy. And as it is a personal diary you are not allowed to hold anything you read in it against me, as you shouldn't have been reading it anyway.

Also, this diary is not to be read by anyone who has gone out with me, would like to go out with me in the future, or suspects I may like to go out with them.






Click Here for the old site, as backed up by Wayback Machine (I have gone with the 2007 version as it is the latest that is still before vodafone crunched a bunch of my files)

Sunday, 8 December 2019

Those Brains

As my brain continues to fill the social isolation with unhelpful thoughts there is a bunch of missing Shitlord popping up.
All of it just leads to being reminded how miserable he made me even when things were 'good'.

Why did I give five years of my life to someone who was so not good to me?



The being all pneumonia and post-pneumonia stuck at home this close to a big depressing birthday has generally just done very bad things for my mental state.  I am not doing okay but I have no idea how to describe what exactly is going so bad and no idea what could help - which means I can't ask for help because I have no idea what help I need.
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