Siblings

I spent the morning failing to start my essay and chatting to some supportive friends who are being very tolerant about how miserable and one-track my conversation has been.

Lunchtime I had to go meet my family, so I walked to my grandmother's rest home to meet people there.
She is starting to seem settled, which is nice.  Though it is painful to see how fast she seems to be losing basic recollection.  Quite a bit of her asking a question, responding to the answer and then thirty seconds later looping the exact same again.  I told her about the last couple of weeks and the failure of the closest I have got to an adult relationship.  Her response was to tell me I had always been far to trusting, even compared to other little kids.  By the time other people had arrived I am pretty sure she had forgotten the conversation ever happened.
Anyway, family gathered and went to Nichol's Garden Centre cafe for a birthday lunch for my trans-sister.
I ate a whole french toast cafe meal.  I even, eventually, got through the slice of lolly cake that I had had added to my order because my mother thought I needed it.  Totally eating like a normal person, only about 25% wanted to throw it all up.  Colour me recovered.....
Also, wow.  The cafe was so full of homo couples with dogs.

After the cafe, and returning my grandmother to her rest home, we went to her mostly cleared out house to get more boxes.  My trans-sister finally picked up on the fact that Shitlord and I had parted ways.  This lead to being told that without him in my life I have nothing to live for and should just go die.  The implication was very much instructions to go kill myself.
Considering this came from someone who considers eye rolling to be an act of violence, I feel little to no urge to be forgiving and it.
And then reminding me that if I am so stupid that I didn't realise I was being cheated on for much of four years then I deserved to have it happen.  Because that is something I needed rubbed in.

Since I got home I have mostly just had a bit of a cry, and watched a bit of TV.

I had a can of soup for dinner.

I am a broken person, but hopefully becoming less broken with time.